106. Revisit with Neil: A Financially Complicated Breakup

Ara describes herself as having been “a bit clueless” with money. When we first connected in 2018, unemployment had made her realise how financially vulnerable she was. Back in work, she wanted to clear her debt, build savings and investments, and learn to manage her money. “I’ve lived pay cheque to pay cheque, and this needs to change!” she told me. Then her emails dried up. When she reappeared in 2026, she was still determined to do better, but still caught in the same pay-spend cycle. Now in her late 40s, Ara is trying again. What happened during those eight years? Why hadn’t her earlier determination led to lasting change, and what’s different this time? I wanted to know how she’s changing her habits, whether those changes will stick, and what you and I can learn from her experience.

Sara and Michael have been together since they were teenagers and are now approaching 50. They have always been good savers, but for many years they had absolutely no idea what they should actually do with those savings to create wealth. They looked into property, sought advice, read books, websites and newspaper columns, and talked with people they thought might know more than they did. Yet time and again, they came away thinking, nope, that’s not for us.

Joseph and Jane’s story is one of resilience, generosity and small financial decisions adding up over time. From Joseph buying his first home at just 22 and navigating some serious health setbacks, to Jane returning to Aotearoa after years overseas and going on to build a successful career, they eventually brought two very different financial journeys together. Today, she has paid off her student loan, they’ve combined their finances, they’re aggressively paying down their mortgage, investing for themselves and their child, using sinking funds and an emergency fund, hunting for bargains and deliberately spending money on the things they enjoy. But above all, I think their story is about what money can really give you. Choices. Resilience. Independence. And, when you’re in a position to do so, the ability to help others.

Today I’m doing something a bit different. I thought I’d give you a little update on what Jonny and I are up to. If you've been listening for a while, you might remember that way back in 2018 I released Episode 12, It’s All About Me. Since then, The Happy Saver blog has become a bit of a diary, tracking our financial journey and the thinking behind the decisions we’ve made. The podcast, on the other hand, has always been about everybody else. But while kind people constantly tell me they love hearing other people’s money stories, I’m still regularly asked to share more of my own. So, eight years on, I thought it was probably time. This episode isn’t going to cover every tiny detail; the blog is still the best place for that, but I’ll share a few numbers, what’s changed, what we’ve learned, and where Jonny and I find ourselves financially today. It’s not easy interviewing yourself; I can tell you that much!

I had a great chat with Rose and Adam on a cold winter’s day in July, and this warm and friendly duo came to our conversation well prepared. Just over 20 years ago, they made the move from Israel to Ōtautahi Christchurch. They joined KiwiSaver early, eventually bought a home of their own, and continued investing in both the sharemarket and residential property. Mindfulness is also central to their lives. Their daily meditation practice and Zen philosophy have taught them to let go of drama, avoid dwelling on setbacks and view mistakes as opportunities to learn. That perspective is particularly valuable now as they chase down FIRE and rethink their investment strategy. While some of their investments are doing extremely well, others are performing extremely poorly. After eight years of owning rental properties, they have accepted that the strategy has not worked for them. They are now steadily untangling themselves from those investments and redirecting their money towards share investments they better understand and believe in. Throughout their relationship, they have always lived within their means and spent less than they earn. Combined with their mindfulness practice, that habit allows them to view past mistakes as tuition fees rather than failures: take the lesson, make a better decision and move forward.