
Charmaine Champ: Supporting Neurodivergent Children with Toileting Challenges
The Autism Mums PodcastShow Notes
Toileting challenges can feel overwhelming for parents of neurodivergent children, especially when withholding, accidents, or anxiety become part of everyday life. In this episode, we’re joined by the compassionate and highly experienced Charmaine Champ, who brings over 30 years of professional and lived experience to help families understand what’s really happening inside their child’s body. Charmaine shares why toileting can feel so hard, the small steps that make progress possible, and the gentle, practical strategies that help children feel safe and confident. Biography Charmaine Champ is a Registered Nurse in Learning Disability (RNLD), Community Nurse Specialist (BSc Hons), Queen’s Nursing Institute Award winner, and a Continence, Sleep, and Understanding Emotions Consultant with over 30 years’ experience supporting children and young people. Drawing on a rich background across clinics, schools, charities, NHS services, and family homes, as well as her own lived experience as a mum in a neurodivergent household, Charmaine specialises in helping children recognise, understand, and respond to the messages their bodies send, so wees and poos can happen comfortably and safely. Her approach blends research-backed guidance with a compassionate, gut-health-informed lens, empowering families, carers, and professionals to support neurodivergent children with toileting, sleep, and emotional regulation in a way that truly meets their individual needs. Key Takeaways Why recognising internal body cues matters for understanding a child’s toileting challenges and choosing the right starting point. What withholding really signals and how seeing it as communication—not behaviour—shift the whole approach. Breaking skills into tiny, achievable steps helps children feel safe, confident, and less overwhelmed. Identifying missed signals such as difficulty noticing hunger, fullness, or the need to poo or wee can unlock new progress. Sensory needs play a powerful role, influencing where, when, and how a child feels able to use the toilet. Consistency across home, school, and healthcare builds familiarity and reduces anxiety for neurodivergent children. Medications like Movicol require proper guidance, and understanding dosage and purpose helps parents advocate with clarity. Using visuals and accessible communication makes environments more supporting and inclusive for all children. Understanding the ‘why’ behind toileting patterns gives parents reassurance, confidence, and a clearer sense of direction. Mentioned in This Episode Bristol Stool Chart Connect with Charmaine Champ Free gift: https://clear-steps-consultancy.newzenler.com/courses/what-to-do-about-poo Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.clearstepsconsultancy.co.uk Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ContinenceConsultantTrainer Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continenceconsultanttrainer
Connect with The Autism Mums Website – https://theautismmums.com/ Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums
Transcript Victoria Bennion: Today, we’re talking about toileting - it's a topic that many families navigate behind closed doors without proper guidance and clarity. To help us bring light, understanding, and practical support to this area, we’re joined by the wonderful Charmaine Champ. Charmaine is a Queen’s Nursing Institute Award–winning specialist with over 30 years of experience supporting children and young people with their toileting, sleep, and emotional regulation needs. She’s also a mum in a neurodivergent household, so she understands these challenges from both a professional and a personal perspective. In our conversation, she explains why toileting can be so complex for our children, what might be happening inside their bodies, and how small, gentle steps can lead to real progress. If your child struggles wit
More from The Autism Mums Podcast
In this episode, we’re joined by John Ossipinsky, known online as “The Lymph Man,” to talk about a part of the body most of us never think about, the lymphatic system. John has spent years studying how this network of vessels clears waste and inflammation, and he shares his take on how it might connect to the way our children feel, think and cope day to day. He covers posture, diet, deep breathing, and a simple shoulder exercise you can try at home. Biography John Ossipinsky, known as LymphMan, is a Lymphatic Health Coach and host of The Lymph-Brain Revolution Podcast. He’s spent over 30 years as a Certified Lymphedema Therapist, with advanced training in CranioSacral Therapy and Visceral Manipulation, helping thousands of clients improve their quality of life. In this episode he talks about how supporting the lymphatic system, movement and inflammation can help teens and adults on the autism spectrum feel more balanced. Key Takeaways The lymphatic system has no pump of its own, unlike the heart and blood. It relies on movement, posture and breathing to keep it flowing. Poor posture and long periods on screens with the head down restrict lymph flow in the neck, something John says affects adults and children alike. When the lymphatic system can’t clear cellular waste, it builds up as inflammation, which can show up anywhere in the body: skin, joints, brain. Diet has a direct effect on lymph flow. A typical Western diet (meat, bread, white flour, sugar) is acid-forming, and acidity restricts the lymphatic system. Small daily habits, deep breathing, movement, and what John calls the “Lymph Man Shoulder Shuffle”, can noticeably improve lymph flow in just a few minutes.
In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about the mistakes schools and professionals make that might seem small to them but can be enormous for autistic children and SEND families. We share our own experiences of placements that worked and placements that broke down, including in specialist schools and alternative provisions where you'd expect staff to know better. We talk about what happens when promises aren't kept, when communication breaks down and when timelines drift, and why for some children, once trust is gone, there's no easy way back. We also talk about why parents raise concerns early, why that isn't being overprotective, and what schools can do that same week when a parent says their child is close to not coming in. Key Takeaways Knowing the child before they arrive matters. Reading the EHCP and asking parents about likes, dislikes and triggers can make or break a placement The first session counts. For many autistic children, one bad experience can lead straight to refusal Keeping promises is essential to a child's sense of safety, and broken promises are rarely forgotten You can ignore the behaviour, but you should never ignore the child. A child left alone in a shutdown can feel abandoned Whatever caused a meltdown or shutdown needs addressing quickly, not days later Ignoring requests for meetings or a child's anxieties is one of the fastest routes to placement breakdown Clear timelines help anxious children. "Later" needs to mean a specific day and time Schools don't get endless chances. With some autistic children it can be one strike, not three Once a child says they're done, there's often no way back, so needs must be met much earlier Children who mask or comply at school may be holding it together until they get home, so parents often see the full picture when staff don't Parents aren't trying to be difficult. They're trying to stop the placement they fought for from breaking down Placement breakdown is rarely sudden. It usually follows weeks, months or years of anxiety, broken trust and missed opportunities
Greer Jones, host of The Unfinished Idea podcast is back on the show. Since we last spoke she's launched the Beautifully Wired Summit, a free three-day online event for mums raising girls with ADHD and autism, and her first book, So, Now What? is out in November. We talk about: The moment Greer realised she had ADHD herself Why she wrote her book and decided to run a summit And the benefits of breathwork
In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're joined by autistic author, speaker and former teacher Pete Wharmby. We first saw Pete speak at the SEND protest in London, and we knew straight away we wanted him on the show. Pete's latest book, Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, looks at what school is really like for autistic children, and why so many of them are struggling. Drawing on his years in the classroom, his own school days and his experience as a parent of an autistic daughter, Pete talks about the inflexibility of mainstream school, from strict uniform rules to stationery checks, and why the problem lies with the system rather than with our children. We also talk about masking, the signs that a child may be holding it together at school and paying for it at home, how masking can tip into burnout, and how Pete recognises burnout in himself as an adult. Pete shares his thoughts on lunchtimes and break times, why lockdown "broke the spell" of school for so many families, and the one idea he'd love every teacher to understand: the double empathy problem. About Pete Wharmby Pete Wharmby is an autistic author and speaker who was diagnosed as autistic at 34, and later with ADHD. He spent many years working as a teacher before turning his focus to autism and neurodiversity awareness and acceptance, after being shocked by the statistics around depression, anxiety and life expectancy for autistic people. Pete now delivers talks, keynotes and training for schools, workplaces and organisations across education, health and justice. He is the author of What I Want to Talk About, Untypical and his latest book, Different Minds. He's also a parent to an autistic daughter. Key Takeaways Autistic children's struggles at school are not their fault, and school refusal is far more likely the less flexible the school environment is. Mainstream school has become more rigid over the last 15 years, at the same time as awareness of neurodivergence has grown, creating a real clash for families. Autistic children need flexibility around uniform, lunchtimes, homework and timetables, because every child's needs are different. Meltdowns after school rarely come from nowhere; they're often the result of a day full of sensory and social stress. Masking at school often carries on at home, so look for exhaustion, irritability, "blank positivity" about the day and a lack of detail. Encouraging a child to stop masking completely at school can put them at risk, so the priority is giving them real downtime at home. Masking can eventually give way to burnout, which can then lead to depression if it isn't recognised and supported. Break times and lunchtimes are unstructured and can be the hardest part of the day for some autistic children. Talking openly with children about autism helps them understand their own brains and make their own choices, such as when to socialise and when to rest. For many autistic children, lockdown showed that school as we know it isn't inevitable, and many families have since chosen home education. A child's enthusiasm for school is fragile, and once broken it is very hard to rebuild. Autistic children respond to teachers who show humanity and can admit when they've got something wrong. The double empathy problem means autistic and non-autistic people can misunderstand each other, and teachers, as the adults, should help bridge that gap. A lack of eye contact or a direct way of speaking is not rudeness; it's often simply an autistic way of communicating.
In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about EBSA: emotionally based school avoidance, sometimes called school distress or school anxiety. It's a term most parents only come across once things are already really difficult, when mornings have become impossible, your child is melting down before school, or they're holding it together in the classroom and falling apart the moment they get home.