Ep. 3 | What I Taught My Kids About Suffering, Before I Knew What Was Coming

None of my minor kids have smartphones, you guys, and we have a rotary phone with a cord on the living room wall (just to really commit to this thing). In this episode I'm sharing what didn't work for us (one shared iPad taught us a lot) and the plan we use now: no personal screens under 13, a locked-down Kindle at 13, a flip phone at 16, and the choice of an iPhone and social media at 18. It's not the easy road, but it's turned out to be one of our all-time best parenting decisions, and if you're thinking about it, I'd say do it.

St. Carlo Acutis, patron saint of the internet, chose to play video games for just one hour a week (so far none of my ten kids has inherited that particular virtue), so you guys, we've had to come up with some family rules. In this episode I'm sharing how we handle video games, TV, and movies in our house: no screens alone, nothing until schoolwork and chores are done, and the outbursts that get the console switched off and everybody sent outside. It's not the only way to do it, but it's worked for us from toddlers all the way up to kids in their 20s, and I hope it helps as you make these decisions in your own home.

Catholics made up Halloween, you guys, and almost every attack on it over the centuries (from the Puritans to one fundamentalist with a printing empire and nearly a billion tracts) has come down to it being too Catholic. In this episode I'm digging into where the ghosts, skulls, and jack-o'-lanterns really come from, why my family still trick-or-treats, and how to keep the vigil of All Saints the old way, with fasting, the Vigil Mass, and spooky (meat-free) mac and cheese. You don't have to celebrate Halloween, but you definitely don't have to be scared out of it.

My own dad wasn't Catholic when I was growing up, and it took twenty-five years of my mom quietly praying for him, with zero arguing or guilt trips, before he signed himself up for RCIA seemingly out of nowhere while I was in college. In this episode I talk through what actually works when a spouse, a toddler, or a teenager isn't on board with family prayer, including what I call the Saint Monica method for the tough teenage years (it's basically the reluctant spouse method, but with more crying).

Our Michaelmas piñata is turning 18 this year, it's the same red cardboard devil Grandad built for our very first feast day back in 2008, and the kids still get to whack him with wooden swords until the candy spills out. In this episode I'm telling the whole story, how one overwhelming liturgical living book sat with me for nine months before I finally tried it, and how that turned into Cornish game hens, blackberry folklore, and a party we look forward to all year. If a wacky feast day tradition still feels like too much for your family, I promise you can start small and it can still become the thing everyone loves most.