Show Notes
In a marriage, you each are your own individual person, and then there is the whole unit that is you both. You both have different needs at different times, and sometimes at the same time. Adam mentions that he is terrible at being really tired and not wanting to take naps, but then not wanting Rosie to take naps because the idea of having the 5 kids is overwhelming, so neither of their needs are met. We have to consider how many times either of us has something different going on and have different needs all at the same time. One example Adam gives is when Rosie has been with the kids all day and she wants connection, but all Adam wants is some peace and quiet, and then those needs just collide.
A funny situation happened 1:00 The clash of needs 4:00 The man flu 9:00 Tips to overcome this potential conflict zone 13:30 Instagram and talking 16:50 Charitably selfish 19:00
“It’s easy when both people want the same thing, like ‘Rosie, we need a date night, we just need to go and talk with our children.’ Mutual needs going in the same direction. Where it’s hard is like, I just had an intense day. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Rosie just had an intense day, she wants to talk to me, forever. That’s where the conflict comes in.” 13:44
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More from The Irish Mummy Podcast | Work Life Balance
We feel this is something that could be applicable to everyone. It could be an unconscious thing that’s happening, which you’re not even aware of, but it’s good to become aware of it. Marriage is basically the biggest commitment we can make and it’s easy to take for granted because it’s just there constantly once you’re married. Your marriage is where you have committed to give it your all and that can take extra dedication to really give the other person the love and attention they need from you to keep your bond strong.
In this episode we are talking about how family vision boards create space to connect and teach children the power of setting goals as an individual and a family. As an eternal optimist, Maria is a relentless pursuer of happiness. Discovering how most everything in life can be solved or fixed with a little grit, moxie, and a love for doing what you do, is her superpower. Listen to Rosie and Maria talk about how goals and vision boards can best be implemented into your family’s life and how this can really change your family’s future for the better.
Today we wanted to discuss the concept that your children’s foundation all starts within the home. “It starts at home. Fueling their minds, watering their thoughts, showing them grace, and asking for forgiveness when we’ve fallen short. It starts at home. Building healthy relationships, teaching them manners, showing them the power of kindness. It starts at home. Using words with honour, speaking life into our situations, refusing to give up when the going gets tough, it starts at home. Prioritising the right things, making memories in the mundane, feeling our emotions rather than bottling them up, it starts at home. Being there for them, opening up the lines of communication, getting to know them more each and every day, it starts at home. And each and every day I pray that home will be a place they remember as learning, laughing, growing, forgiving, and setting a strong foundation for many years to come.” Fire Wife Chronicles by Lizzy Christian
All of the boys, and the boys particularly, love talking about potty stuff. Something we’ve come to realise is that your first doesn’t notice it too much because they don’t have siblings. They might interact with it a little bit at school, but it doesn’t consume them, but then as you have more kids and they start to speak about it among themselves, it begins to gain momentum as you have more and more children. Our 5th kid just loves the sound of any word that has to do with potty talk, and he loves to pronounce it clearly and slowly.
Adam heard something very interesting on a podcast the other day, which said often they see couples all around them, who are in their mid 40s, get divorced over the 10% of things that frustrate them, or annoy them, or that they wish were different, etc. and they set aside the 90% of things that they love about their spouse. “It is so easy to get fixated on someone’s 10% if you’re frustrated with your own life.” In preparation of talking about the 10%, talk often about the 90% of things you love about your spouse to soften the blow when it’s time to talk about the 10%.