
When the Drinking Problem Doesn't Look Like a Problem: Heidi Mills on the Signs Alcohol Might Be an Issue
Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon SeidlShow Notes
“It was taking so much more of me than it was giving.” That’s how Heidi Mills describes her relationship with alcohol—and not in a dramatic, rock-bottom kind of way. In fact, that’s what makes her story so relatable. There wasn’t a single moment where everything fell apart. Instead, there was a long, quiet, up-and-down relationship with alcohol that looked normal on the outside but felt increasingly out of alignment on the inside. Heidi is a certified life and relationship coach and the founder of Reclaim and Soul Care 75, where she helps women pursue personal renewal. But for years, she found herself stuck in a cycle that many of us know too well—drifting in and out of drinking, convincing herself it was under control, and silencing the internal whisper that something wasn’t right. In this episode, Heidi shares how alcohol first entered her life as a teenager, how it faded during seasons of early motherhood and a faith awakening, and how it quietly re-entered in her 30s—this time dressed up as “normal” and even reinforced by church culture. In environments where drinking was accepted (sometimes even encouraged behind closed doors) it became easier to justify patterns that were slowly becoming more ingrained. Eventually, though, she began to see clearly that she was in an abusive relationship, not with a person but with a thing called alcohol. And it wasn't adding to her life but quietly taking from it. Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible here. We explore: — How Heidi’s relationship with alcohol developed in cycles rather than a single breaking point — The role church drinking culture played in normalizing and reinforcing her habits — How alcohol became a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, and relational pain — What cognitive dissonance looks like in everyday drinking patterns — How cultural messaging and marketing shape our beliefs about alcohol — Why “it’s under control” is often a warning sign, not reassurance — The moment Heidi began to recognize alcohol as a toxic relationship — What it looks like to slowly unravel the stories we believe about what alcohol does for us — The fear of losing community and connection when stepping away from drinking — How awareness—not willpower—is often the first step toward change — What it means to live in alignment with your convictions instead of numbing them Heidi's article: A Glass Half Empty: Leaving My Most Abusive Relationship Work with Heidi here. Heidi's Soul Care 75. Heidi's Substack newsletter: In the Waiting Room Follow me: @jonseidl Order my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic Get the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0 Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
More from Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl
What do dying people wish for near the end of their lives? Devon Comp knows. He's sat with countless numbers of them as a hospice chaplain. And there's one consistent request: they wish they were more present. More time with their kids. More time focusing on what matters. Another chance to tell someone what they meant to them. One woman even longed to hear the birds more. But no one has ever wished they drank more. They chased their addiction more. Money? Fleeting. Devon joins this episode of "Confessions" to talk about what people facing death can teach those still finding reasons to postpone change. This conversation follows a man who kept welcoming company as cancer took his ability to speak, grieving parents who needed more than a Bible verse, and a man whose drinking made more sense once someone learned what had happened to his wife. For host Jon Seidl, the conversation reaches into an uncomfortable part of recovery: facing how much life alcohol muted while he was using it to cope. And for those who profess hope in Jesus, Devon presses a further question: How much of that hope is actually reaching the way they live? Read Devon’s writing: Safe Haven Follow Devon: @devon_comp Read about his move into nursing: “A Change in Badge.” Explore the FREE Veritas Recovery Community to connect with people on a similar journey Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily
Doug Johnson knew his drinking had gotten bad. There were bottles of whiskey disappearing over a weekend, around $1,000 a month going toward alcohol, Everclear mixed into sweet tea, and drinking at 10 in the morning. But he still wasn't ready to admit it was a problem. Then came "the look"—the moment his wife, Abby, looked at him and had seemingly lost all hope after making one request: don't get drunk. She needed to know their kids were going to be safe while she was gone. Despite his promise, he could see she felt she was rolling the dice. At last, he couldn't ignore it. And it started him on a path not to sobriety, but to Jesus in a new way. In this episode, Doug joins Jon Seidl to talk about the resentment, loneliness, and purposelessness that helped turn alcohol into what he calls “the cure”; how addiction affected his marriage to popular pro-life advocate Abby Johnson; his faith; why he believes getting sober became an act of sacrificial love; and what it took to rebuild trust. Five years after his last drink, Doug explains why freedom wasn't ultimately about replacing alcohol with something else, but rather fully surrendering at the feet of Jesus. Follow Doug on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dougontap Watch Unplanned Learn more about Abby Johnson's work: https://abortionworker.com Listen to the the episode with Ian Faulkner here Explore the FREE Veritas Recovery Community to connect with people on a similar journey Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily
Charles Reed was drunk in the delivery room when his daughter was born. Afterward, he told his wife he was going for a walk—but he went straight to a liquor store. Becoming a father hadn’t made him stop. So what finally did—and what would following Jesus require afterward? For years, Charles could close a big deal at work while hiding how badly alcohol and drugs were running his life. He was wildly talented and successful, but he kept crossing lines he once swore he’d never cross. By the time his family could see the full picture, he was organizing his days around the next drink. Then Charles describes something he hadn’t been looking for: an encounter with Jesus that he says removed his desire to drink in an instant. That wasn't the end of his journey, but rather the start of it. After all, his wife had heard all the promises before. He had trust to rebuild, habits to confront, and a family that needed him to show up. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, Charles joins Jon Seidl to talk about the fear beneath his addiction, the limits of “I would never do that,” and the daily work of recovery even after a miraculous moment. Follow Charles on Instagram: @hendrieehill Learn more about America's Keswick here Listen to the the episode with Arman and hear his story here Explore the FREE Veritas Recovery Community to connect with people on a similar journey Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily
Emily White is an addiction counselor who once filled a CamelBak with alcohol to walk to class, collected a nine-month sobriety chip while secretly drinking, and was eventually kicked out of rehab. She knew recovery language—and enough Christianity to look the part—but she was still trying to become presentable before coming fully to Jesus. After more than a year in sober living, Em followed every instruction she had been given and still relapsed when a friend hurt her feelings. The program had given her tools, but it had not given her an unshakable anchor. At the end of herself, she walked into Watermark Community Church with drugs in her car and told a volunteer she needed a miracle. What followed was not instant transformation. Christians listened without panicking, let her arrive broken, and kept showing up while the Holy Spirit worked. Then a parking-lot question—"What would it mean to go two feet in?"—became an act of life-changing, full surrender. Em shares why recovery communities must make room for mess, how families can love without relying on a formula, and what it looks like to endure discomfort without escaping it. Seven and a half years into sobriety, she now helps others find the hope she once believed was impossible while serving as a licensed counselor at the Austin Stone. Learn more about re:gen here Em's counseling practice Follow Em on Instagram: @em_whitey Explore the FREE Veritas Recovery Community to connect with people on a similar journey Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily
Karla Adkins was successful, active in church, and working in health care—and yet she was dying from alcohol-related liver failure. When Karla’s doctor called and asked if she was OK, Karla said she thought she was dying. Her doctor was honest: “I think you are too.” Yet even surviving liver failure wasn’t enough to make Karla stop drinking and find true freedom. Months later, she returned to drinking because she had never addressed the reasons she needed alcohol in the first place. In this episode, the author and sobriety coach joins host Jon Seidl to discuss alcohol addiction, anxiety, relapse, and the comparison trap that keeps people convinced their drinking isn’t bad enough to be a "real" problem. Karla also shares how she gave alcohol jobs, why shame kept her silent, and how science, compassionate support, radical vulnerability, and above all her faith in Jesus helped her pursue something deeper than sobriety. Get Karla's book: And She Came Tumbling Down: Breaking the Bonds of Alcohol and Creating a Life of Freedom Visit Karla's website Follow Karla on Instagram: @karlakadkins Explore the FREE Veritas Recovery Community to connect with people on a similar journey Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.org Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order Jon's book: Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic Watch this episode ad-free at The Vertias Daily