Why Won’t the Other Kids Play With Me?

Your child gets nervous before anything new, and you worry other kids will notice. Today a 10 year old and his mom join me to explain what really scares kids and why bullies pick the kids they pick. You’ll hear a kid explain it in his own words. His mom shares what helped him most. I also teach a simple way to help a hurting bully instead of fighting back, plus a game you can play at home tonight. Learn the two reasons a bully picks a target. See what a confident kid looks like, from the back to the eyes to the face. Use a compliment and a question to meet a new kid. Practice 80 percent listening and 20 percent talking. Try speaking life with a kid who is hurting others. If your child freezes around new kids or worries about bullies, this is the one to press play on tonight.

You can't follow your child to school. You can't stop a mean kid from saying something cruel. But you can make sure your child knows exactly what to do when it happens. Coach Andrew walks you through a real coaching call with an 11 year old girl who was about to start a new school. You'll hear the exact words, questions, and pictures he used to help her feel strong and calm. Every tool is simple enough to practice at home tonight. Explain why bullies bully so your child stops taking it personally. Show your child why bullies pick the "hurt zebra" and how to stop being an easy target. Practice faces and tone in the mirror so your child looks and sounds calm. Use the repeat technique, the uncomfortable flip, and the question technique to shut teasing down. How to help a kind child speak up without feeling like the bad guy. Your child doesn't need to be tough to stand strong. They just need the right tools before the first hard day.

You tell your kid what to do. They dig in. You say it again, louder. Now you are both stuck and nobody is listening. Nancy is a homeschool mom of two girls, ages 5 and 8. When her oldest refused jiu jitsu, telling got her nowhere, but a few calm questions found the real reason. You will learn the exact questions she uses to walk her kids out of big feelings and into clear thinking. Name the feeling out loud and let your kid say yes or no. Offer the wrong answer first and the right answer last. Watch for eyes looking down, because it means something is bugging them. Keep "what do you mean?" and "tell me more" in your back pocket. Use a caring, worried tone so your questions never sound like a quiz. Stop pushing harder and start asking better, because your kid already has the answer inside.

Your child freezes when another kid is mean. Or they keep a friend who treats them badly, because speaking up feels like being mean. Teaching boundaries only fixes the surface. Coach Andrew digs into why kind kids stay quiet and finds a deeper fear underneath: being left alone. It starts with a real moment from a coaching call and a simple drawing on a whiteboard. Then he shows how kids build real confidence so they can speak up or walk away without you stepping in. Learn the chain of fears that makes a kind kid freeze. See the difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Understand how a scarcity mindset keeps kids stuck with friends who hurt them. Play the Question Detective game at home with just two W's and three topics. How to use the spotlight effect to calm nerves before your child talks to someone new. Your child does not need you to fight their battles, they need the skills to handle their own.

Is your kid dealing with a friend who used to be their person and now treats them like an outsider? It is one of the hardest things to watch as a parent, and most of the advice out there does not actually work. Coach Andrew shares a framework he built after testing it with his own students, and it works whether your child is five or fifteen. You will learn how to help your child build their own team of real friends, so one jealous or manipulative kid can never turn a whole group against them. Here is what you will take away: Learn why the kids excluding your child are usually not bad kids, just scared ones Understand the North Star that makes a kid magnetic instead of a people pleaser Use the two C's, compliment and common, to get past any wall between your kid and a new friend Teach your child to be a question detective who asks what and why instead of yes or no questions Show your kid how giving without expecting anything back builds a team that has their back no matter what Your child does not need to be the most popular kid in the room. They need a team that shows up when it matters.