Show Notes
Struggling to decide between staying home or moving overseas? In this ep I give you 9 questions to ask yourself to get the clarity you need. Then I answer 3 listener questions. Key themes covered are indecision after moving, what changing locations does to personal growth and how to plan ahead for the difficult times that moving can bring. Takeaways - Are you after adventure or permanent change? A year abroad for adventure means saying yes to everything, not settling into a dull nine-to-five. A move for permanent change comes from dissatisfaction, so be clear about which one it is. If money is what’s holding you back, booking a non-refundable flight can turn a dream into a plan. Are you running away or chasing something? You take yourself with you wherever you go. Moving fixes problems with your town or city, but not your habits or motivation. A sunny city won’t make you a morning person. A new place is a strong fresh start, but only if you do the work. Plan for everyday life, not the holiday version. Think about what a normal Monday will look like, how you cope with being alone, and whether you can afford to come home if things go wrong. Then ask which you’d regret more in five years: going or staying. Loneliness after emigrating keeps your brain in survival mode. Long stretches without safety or belonging keep the brain in a stressed, reactive state, which wears down confidence and self-esteem. The main fix is building a sense of belonging. That can start small: run clubs, volunteering, learning your barista’s name, getting to know your neighbours. Being alone abroad isn’t a failure, and moving for love needs a fair plan. Travelling solo builds self-trust and resilience, even when it doesn’t feel that way. If you keep moving for a partner’s career, talk honestly about a long-term plan before the sacrifices turn into resentment. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
More from Do You F*cking Mind?
What you can walk to shapes your mental health. Having shops, cafés and friends within a 10-minute walk means you leave home more often and have more small interactions. Long drives make you batch your errands into one trip, which is more isolating. Other Takeaways Living close to friends makes you happier because it allows spontaneous catch-ups. Living nearby turns a quick text into a coffee or a dog walk together. A 40-minute drive means every catch-up has to be planned, so you see good friends far less often. Chrono-urbanism: time-based living lowers chronic stress. This urban planning idea measures a place by how quickly you can reach what you need. Short trips and good public transport cut the daily stress of traffic, parking and long drives. The “big house, small life” problem: more space can mean less connection. Many families move further out for a yard and extra rooms, then end up feeling isolated. Choosing location over space often makes for a bigger social life. Social connection protects your health, and small interactions count. Research comparing the health impact of loneliness to smoking about 15 cigarettes a day. Chatting with neighbours and strangers builds a sense of belonging, which supports mental health, immunity and healthy years of life. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Feeling lost, stuck people-pleasing, or like you’re living the 'wrong' version of your life? In this encore episode, I break down what your authentic self really means, the psychology of self-conflict and self-discrepancy theory, and how living authentically boosts your self-esteem, confidence and resilience. Too much choice can leave you paralysed, and the pressure to please family, friends and society can pull you far from who you really are. This episode gives you practical mindset tools and journal prompts to reconnect with your true self.
Is fear keeping your life small? Learn the difference between good and bad fear, how to stop spiralling, and why irreversible decisions make you happier.
Bonjour and welcome to your head noise episode!
What if success is a brain pattern you can train? Learn how your prefrontal cortex, basal ganglia and dopamine turn goals into habits that actually stick.