Why the Moms Who Love Their Children the Most Often Hurt the Most with Rebecca Geshuri, Episode 171
The Child Psych PodcastShow Notes
n this deeply emotional and validating episode of The Child Psych Podcast, we’re joined by Rebecca Geshuri — licensed marriage and family therapist, IFS-informed clinician, perinatal mental health specialist, and co-author of When Good Moms Feel Bad. This conversation speaks directly to the mothers carrying invisible guilt, shame, rage, anxiety, exhaustion, and the quiet fear that they are somehow failing their children despite loving them deeply. Rebecca helps us understand a profound truth: the mothers who care the most often struggle the most. Together, we explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a compassionate and transformative framework for understanding motherhood—not through blame or pathology, but through the lens of nervous systems, emotional overwhelm, and protective “parts” that emerge during stress. Rebecca explains the difference between our “Good Mom” parts and “Bad Mom” parts, why maternal rage is often rooted in unmet needs and overload, and how shame keeps so many mothers suffering silently and alone. We also discuss the powerful concept of unblending—learning to create space from overwhelming emotions so parents can respond instead of react in difficult moments. Rebecca offers deep reassurance to parents terrified that their anger or dysregulation has already harmed their children, reminding us that repair, reconnection, and nervous system safety matter far more than perfection. Most importantly, this episode introduces listeners to the idea of the “Inner Mom”—the calm, compassionate internal leader that already exists within every parent, even when overwhelm makes it hard to access. This is a conversation every mother deserves to hear.
In This Episode, We Discuss: Why loving your child deeply can sometimes make parenting feel harder Maternal rage, anxiety, guilt, and shame through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) The difference between “Good Mom” and “Bad Mom” parts Why mothers often feel emotionally flooded and reactive How shame keeps parents isolated and suffering silently The power of unblending during triggering parenting moments Why repair matters more than perfection in parent-child relationships How healing a mother’s inner world supports a child’s attachment and regulation Accessing the calm, compassionate “Inner Mom” during overwhelm
If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “Why is this so hard if I love my child this much?” — this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and far less alone.
Find Rebecca on social @rebeccageshurilmft
Here is the link to her new book, "When Good Mom's Feel Bad" : https://rebeccageshurilmft.com/book
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