Overcoming Hurts Part 1

What we laugh at, we tend to accept. And what we accept, we eventually believe and practice. Dave and Bethlie launch a new part of the Overcoming series: Overcoming the Lies We Believe. This introductory episode looks at three sources of deception: the enemy, who has lied since the Garden; a cultureamplified by social media, AI, and viral humor; and, most surprisingly, ourselves. The Youngs explain why lies don't only affect "the culture out there." They quietly shape good Christian homes, marriages, and how we go about raising children. The only way to overcome them is the Word of truth, read personally, taught at home, and given priority over every other activity. Overcoming the Lies We Believe: Series Introduction Dave and Bethlie begin the final stretch of their year-long Overcoming series with one of their most important topics yet: the lies we believe, and the lies we practice. When our beliefs are wrong, they shape our habits and behavior. That affects our personal lives, our marriages, our churches, and how we raise our children. Source 1: The Enemy Is a Liar The Father of Lies Dave points to John 8:44, where Jesus calls the devil a liar and the father of lies, and to John 10:10, where the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Often the enemy does that destroying through the lies we believe, from political lies that have cost lives to personal lies that damage marriages, children, and grandchildren. "Yea, Hath God Said?" Bethlie notes that Satan's very first lie in the Garden questioned God's word. She shares how the enemy lies on both sides of sin, using abortion as an example. First he says, "It's your body, it's not really a baby." Afterward he says, "No one will ever forgive you, and God can't love you now." He tempts us into sin, then piles on shame to keep us in bondage. Source 2: The Culture Is Deceiving Us Some cultural lies are simply accepted norms. Others are deliberate, patient, and designed. Dave explains how harmful systems advance step by step, with each step made to look desirable so we ignore where the path leads. Scripture's Warnings About Deception Romans 16:18 Ephesians 4:14 Ephesians 5:6 Thessalonians 2:3 1 John 3:7 Source 3: We Can Deceive Ourselves One of the strangest truths in Scripture is that we can convince ourselves something is true when it isn't, and then defend it and live it. 1 John 1:8 1 Corinthians 3:18 The Only Way to Overcome: The Word of Truth Follow the Word, Not the Influencer Bethlie cautions against trusting an Instagram influencer, a favorite author, or a conference speaker more than Scripture. Come to the Bible with an open heart and a mind ready to reason, not with the attitude that it's too archaic to apply. Devotionals Can't Replace the Bible Good devotional books and commentaries have value, but they can't replace reading line upon line and precept upon precept: whole chapters, whole books, and the whole counsel of God. Listening while exercising or driving is fine, but life change requires sitting down to focus, learn, and apply. Church and Family Devotions Are Under Attack Many families let sports, events, and activities take priority over church. Our forefathers made church the foundation of life, not an add-on. Dave points to Deuteronomy's pattern of teaching children God's Word when sitting at home, walking along the way, lying down, and rising up. Without personal Bible reading, family devotions, and faithful church attendance, we can't overcome the lies.

In the final part of the mini-series Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie bring the five-step series to a close. They show how to stop dividing and start doing life together. That means family dinners at the table instead of in front of the TV, walks after supper, date traditions, and even peeling potatoes side by side. Dave and Bethlie discuss the last two steps in this last mini-series episode. Affirm your commitment through words, vows, and simple texts that say "I'm here for you." And forgive, both by asking for forgiveness and by offering it before you're asked.

Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 2): Abandon Criticism, Negativity, and Division Ask most couples if their marriage is struggling and they'll say, "No… but we're really busy." Jobs, church, and a calendar full of the kids' sports, music lessons, and fine arts can leave husbands and wives passing in the hallway. Some couples simply land in a stagnant season. In Episode 335, Dave and Bethlie Young continue their mini-series within the Overcoming series. They remind couples that it takes two to overcome a struggling marriage, and that the Christian's victory over the world comes through faith. Episode Overview After a quick review of last week's first two steps, the Youngs introduce the third step for overcoming a struggling marriage: Abandon. They're quick to clarify that this does not mean abandoning your spouse. It means letting go of three habits that quietly erode a Christian marriage. A Struggling Marriage Takes Two In counseling, the Youngs often find that each spouse wants to be closer but sees the fault only in the other person. Dave points to the Lord's message to the lukewarm church of Laodicea. Things weren't well, though they thought they were, yet the Lord loved them and promised to help them overcome. Review: Step 1 — Speak Husbands speak words of affection, and wives speak words of affirmation. Both spouses speak gratitude, praise, and prayer. Dave recalls the Youngs' interview with Dr. Gary Thomas about making good marriages great. In a recent counseling session, a wife immediately attacked her husband's account instead of sharing her own. Dave's response: Stop that. Check-in question: What words of affection or affirmation did you speak on purpose this week? Review: Step 2 — Seek Seek to serve each other. Ask "What can I do for you?" instead of "What will my spouse do for me?" Seek to solve problems together. Be swift to hear and slow to speak, and learn to identify the real problem. Seek God together. Go to church, small groups, and Bible studies together, and above all, pray together to reconnect when you feel distant. Step 3 — Abandon Abandon All Criticism Scripture teaches that as a person thinks in their heart, so are they. When a husband constantly criticizes his wife, she begins to see herself that way and live that way. The same is true when a wife criticizes her husband. The Youngs note they see this same pattern in children raised by negative parents. Bethlie adds that a husband who is constantly corrected for how he bathes or diapers the baby or shops for groceries will often just stop trying. That leaves the wife even more frustrated. How to Address Real Issues Without Criticism Ask a favor. Try "Would you do this for me?" instead of sarcasm or eye-rolling. Accept that different isn't wrong. If the baby gets changed, go with it. Talk with curiosity. Ask, "Is that how your family did it?" Save corrections for things that truly matter, and let the rest go. Wives, watch the perfectionism. As Bethlie puts it, get off your "control girl high horse." Abandon All Negative Statements Sitcom-style sarcasm, like "You're such an idiot, ha ha," trained a generation to laugh at put-downs. In a real marriage, those words weaken and demolish. Abandon Division Anything that pulls you apart has to go. Dave points to Peter's call to "add to your faith." God works through addition and multiplication. Add to your marriage, and multiply your efforts: if your kind words didn't land last week, say them ten times more. Text them, email them, write them on the calendar, or tuck them in a lunchbox. How Technology and Busyness Divide the Christian Family Picking up from the Overcoming Technology series, the Youngs warn that couples can sit on the same couch or lie in the same bed on separate devices and still be divided. Children's activities can divide families too. Try this: Take your family out to eat, leave every phone in the car, and notice how hard conversation feels at first. This

A struggling marriage doesn't have to become a doomed marriage. In Part 1 of Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie share the first two of five biblical steps for turning a Christian marriage around, even in the busy years of raising children. Step one is SPEAK. Husbands give words of affection, wives give words of affirmation, and both spouses offer gratitude, praise, and prayer. Step two is SEEK. That means seeking each other out, serving each other, solving problems together, and seeking God together, including a simple church-pew habit that protects your marriage. The episode is practical, and a little funny (yes, the bedroom pillows come up). It's for every Christian family that wants more than "just hanging on." Why a Struggling Marriage Isn't a Doomed Marriage Marriages struggle for many reasons: Busy seasons of work and raising young children Empty-nest adjustments after years centered on the kids Phones and screens pulling spouses into separate corners Deeper hurts, such as dishonesty or feeling uncared for The first move is refusing the lie that struggle means the end. Step 1: Speak Speech is one of God's greatest gifts to people. In a struggling marriage, couples tend to go silent, or they let loose unkind and unhelpful words. Dave points to Scripture's call to avoid corrupt communication and to build each other up. He also cites Solomon's warning in Proverbs that careless words can pierce like a sword. Husbands: Speak Words of Affection A wife needs to hear "I love you," and Dave suggests adding the word because: "I love you because…" That meets her heart's question: Am I loved enough? Wives: Speak Words of Affirmation A husband's heart asks: Do you respect me? Am I good enough? Bethlie challenges wives to resist the cultural habit of picking men apart, both at home, among friends, and on social media. She shares a testimony from the Seeking Him Bible study by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Tim Grissom. In it, a wife repented of being controlling and critical, and her husband said her new encouragement let him thrive. Both Spouses: Speak Gratitude, Praise, and Prayer Gratitude: Don't take a hardworking husband or a devoted wife for granted. Say thank you often. Praise: The praise you need should come from inside your home, not from strangers at the grocery store. Prayer: Pray for your spouse instead of growing bitter. Send a text that says, "I prayed for you today." Bethlie shares a helpful principle attributed to Mrs. Graham: Take your praise to your husband, and take your complaints to the Lord. Step 2: Seek Seek Each Other Out and Do Things Together Put the phones down. Don't settle into separate rooms. Play board or card games, watch a movie, and laugh together. Don't let the world separate you. Seek to Serve Each Other Get the snack. Run the errand. Wipe down the sink. Learn how your spouse likes things done, even the order of the bed pillows, and turn small irritations into acts of service. Seek to Solve Problems Together Listen well, identify the real problem, give grace, and learn to let things go. (The Youngs' earlier conflict resolution series goes deeper on this.) Seek God Together Worship together, sit together in church, attend small groups and Sunday school together, and pray together. Bethlie shares advice from Pat and Susie Del Porto: don't let your children sit between you in church. Sitting shoulder to shoulder under the Word of God softens hearts and sweetens a marriage.

In part 3 of the Overcoming Technology mini-series, Dave and Bethlie quickly recap the first three steps (determine if you need to change, educate yourself, recognize the damage) before landing on the three that close out the series: find alternative activities, create tech-free zones, and discuss the changes needed — together, as a family. Technology itself isn't evil — it's a gift from God (1 Timothy 6:17) — but Christians are called to walk circumspectly (Ephesians 5) and redeem the time, which is hard to do when technology is running the show instead of being run by us. Quick recap of steps 1–4 (from Parts 1 & 2): Determine if you need to overcome technology Educate yourself (books, podcasts, research) Recognize the damage it can cause (sleep disruption, social isolation, eye strain, shorter attention spans, addiction, loss of privacy, cyberbullying) Determine the changes needed (individual — time limits, habit changes, removing non-essential apps, silencing notifications) The final three steps: Find alternative activities — Step away on purpose through physical activity, hobbies, and face-to-face interaction. Suggestions: walks after dinner, biking, mountain biking, golf, tennis, painting, crafting, cooking. The point: if parents don't proactively offer alternatives, kids won't find them on their own. Create tech-free zones — Specific zones discussed: Mealtime — TV off, phones away, actual conversation The bedroom — phones stay out, use an analog/digital alarm clock instead; protects sleep and removes late-night temptation Ballgames and kids' activities — be present, not on your phone Family movie night — phone-free even during streaming ad breaks (use the break for a bathroom run, popcorn, or "a kissing break") Alternative approach: designate the family room (or one area) as the only place tech is allowed, making the rest of the house tech-free by default