Summary
British culture's perception of bachelorhood has shifted dramatically over the centuries, with contemporary views often romanticizing the idea of a carefree, commitment-averse bachelor. However, historical accounts reveal a starkly different narrative. In the 17th and 18th centuries, bachelorhood was seen as a temporary and unprestigious state, with societal pressure pushing men toward marriage as a means of achieving respectability and fulfilling their roles as citizens. Diaries from this era depict young men grappling with feelings of inadequacy and longing for companionship, often expressing a desire for marriage despite the societal expectations that accompanied it.
Men like Dudley Ryder and John Courtney illustrate the complexities of bachelor life, revealing a blend of ambition, insecurity, and the societal pressures to marry. Ryder's diary entries reflect his yearning for a spouse, not merely for sexual fulfillment but for emotional support and legitimacy. Similarly, Courtney's numerous courtship attempts highlight the challenges faced by men in their pursuit of marriage, often met with rejection despite their respectable status and intentions.
The discussion extends to the practicalities of marriage in British society, where establishing an independent household was a prerequisite for matrimony. This financial barrier meant that many men delayed marriage until they could afford to support a family, leading to a prolonged period of bachelorhood filled with frustration and guilt. The diaries of various men from this period reveal a longing for domesticity and companionship, contrasting sharply with modern notions of bachelor freedom. Ultimately, marriage was seen as a crucial step toward manhood, providing not just social acceptance but also a framework for sexual fulfillment and emotional stability.
Show Notes
Such is the gloom that surrounds settling down today and the glamour that attaches to mature bachelor freedom, it is hard to imagine that there was a time when marriage represented the summit of a young man's hopes. Uploaded 12-08-11Forty years after the sexual liberalization of the 1970s, it is easy to forget that only marriage promised true sexual fulfillment for Christians, turning furtive or frustrated boys into fully-realized men. Marriage was the only acceptable framework for children, through whom men made a claim on the future, but also confirmed their potency. Virility was one of the most celebrated masculine qualities. The father who led a handsome family into church radiated both an air of commanding respectability and a glow of unmistakable sexual success. Marriage promised physical excitement. Two days before his marriage in January 1754, 33 year old Josiah Wedgwood positively frothed with anticipation of 'the blissful day! When she will reward all my faithful services and take me to her arms! To her Nuptial bed! To - Pleasures which I am yet ignorant of'. He took the precaution of working over-time the week before his wedding to clear time to enjoy his bride uninterrupted. Marriage was a sexy prospect. In the 17th and 18th century, bachelorhood was a temporary and unprestigious state best solved by marriage. The Batchelor's Directory of 1694 was unequivocal - 'Matrimony - what can better agree with man and more exactly relate to his necessities?' Even men who felt no attraction to the opposite sex had to marry to gain the full benefits of adulthood.There were even proposals to levy a tax on mature bachelors as a deterrent and a punishment for their evasion of the burden of domestic government and social provision. Perpetual bachelors were the 'vermin of the State' pronounced the Women's Advocate stonily. 'They enjoy the benefit of society, but Contribute not to its Charge and Spunge upon the publick, without making the least return'.We associate the history of home and private life with women, but what did house and domesticity mean to men? More than you might think argues Professor Amanda Vickery.The transcript and downloadable versions of the lecture are available from the Gresham College website:http://www.gresham.ac.uk/lectures-and-events/what-did-eighteenth-century-men-wantGresham College has been giving free public lectures since 1597. This tradition continues today with all of our five or so public lectures a week being made available for free download from our website.http://www.gresham.ac.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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