Show Notes
In this episode, I talk about a time when I used to watch porn regularly as a way to check out. Then something changed. Right after finishing, I had to turn it off right away.
Then I saw a guy on Instagram who had meditated for 83 days straight, and something about that inspired me. I never thought about meditation before, but suddenly I was doing it. As I practiced, I noticed how often I got physically itchy and wanted to scratch. That made me realize that watching porn was simply a desire to “scratch an itch” (avoid discomfort).
Meditation began teaching me how to sit with the discomfort, that it wouldn’t kill me. Then a wave of change started. I wanted to hike, do yoga, even listen to classical music! I needed new outer experiences to match the inner calm I was cultivating. Each small step led me to another shift and a whole new way of living. Face it. Shift. Grow. Repeat.
More from The Shift: A Podcast With Ben Brown
Are you feeling like P*rn and Mast*rbation are taking over your life, holding you back from the person you know you could be? In this episode, I share my personal journey of stepping away from P*rn and Mast*rbation, starting with my first attempt where I white-knuckled my way through 30 days in total isolation. While I proved I could do it, I went right back to old patterns because I lacked a plan, a community, and an understanding of my brain chemistry. It was not until I entered recovery, leaned on a community, and got honest about my Add*ction that real healing began. I break down the exact week-by-week neurological shift during a 30-day reset, moving from acute withdrawal and the dreaded week-two flatline to watching dopamine receptors return as true presence and inner confidence take root. This episode isn't just about my story; it's a practical roadmap designed for your own healing. I invite you to step out of isolation, embrace the emotional discomfort, and choose a new path. You are not broken, and your freedom begins today.
Have you ever found yourself reaching for a quick digital escape because real human connection felt too uncomfortable? In this episode, I dive straight into the male loneliness epidemic and why so many men are turning to AI girlfriends. For nearly thirty years, I relied on internet porn to hit the easy button whenever life felt flustered, conditioning my brain and running from genuine intimacy. Through sex addiction recovery and building vulnerable male friendships, I learned to stop skipping the hard parts and embrace the messy process of real dating. Real love requires us to sit through awkward coffee dates and trust our calm, centered selves rather than hiding behind a screen. This episode isn't just about my journey; it's about your willingness to put down the phone and step into real connection. I invite you to reflect on where you are trading genuine intimacy for artificial comfort. Stop pressing the easy button and let the messy process of life build your diamond.
Have you ever felt completely disconnected from true physical intimacy, even when you desperately wanted it? In this episode, I open up about my decades-long struggle with porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED) and how early exposure to extreme content completely distorted my sexual arousal template. PIED is a behavioral and psychological condition where an individual experiences difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection during partnered sex, despite being fully capable of doing so while viewing pornography or masturbating alone. From nine years old to escalation throughout my teens and adulthood, I ended up chasing high-dopamine novelty while driving a wedge between physical attraction and genuine emotional depth. It was only after hitting rock bottom, walking away from porn at 38, and dedicating four years to recovery, therapy, and rewiring my brain that I finally learned how to merge heart-centered love with true physical connection. This episode isn't just about my personal recovery journey; it's about you and the invisible patterns that might be keeping you isolated from real intimacy. I invite you to reflect on what you are feeding your mind and whether your current habits are pulling you away from the depth you actually crave. You are not broken, and a deeply fulfilling, authentic relationship is fully within your reach once you choose to step out of the shadows. PIED is not permanent. You too can recover and learn to love in healthy ways. #pornaddiction #PIED #MensHealth #SexualHealth #relationships #intimacy #emotionalconnection
For almost 30 years, I ran from every uncomfortable feeling I had. As a kid, nail-biting and video games. Then, as a teen and beyond, porn, fantasy, and sex. When I decided to get sober, I lost every one of those buffers at once, and I had to find another way to survive the fear. I needed a new coping mechanism.
Do you know exactly what your problems are, but have no idea where you actually want to go? When I first got into recovery, my mentor challenged me to write down my five-year dream life. I played it safe. Censored myself so I wouldn't fail and feel bad. He looked at what I wrote, saw straight through it, and sent me back to do it again. This time, from a place of full permission to dream, not from what I thought was realistic.