Episode 32: Discipline, Dysregulation, and Why Punishment Doesn’t Work

Matt and Erin are wrapping up Season 1 of The Autistic VOICE Project this week — and after 48 episodes, they’re talking honestly about burnout, sustainability, community, and what it takes to keep showing up as Autistic people doing work they care about. We cover: Why we're taking a summer break and what autistic burnout actually looks like in real life Energy accounting, reducing barriers, and finding ways to make daily life more sustainable The difference between stopping completely and intentionally cutting back before burnout gets worse Why asking for help can be part of healthy community care Building a podcast without burning ourselves out financially, emotionally, or physically Ideas for Patreon, merch, sponsors, and ways listeners can help support the future of the show Upcoming plans for Season 2, including new guests from the Autistic community, artists, and creators Also: leaking foundation walls, Prius appreciation, shampoo-bodywash-conditioner "all-in-one goo," PBS pledge drive energy, dethroning Joe Rogan, Dan Aykroyd's elusive guest appearance, Star Wars memes, Godzilla sponsorship dreams, and Bob from Topeka. We're taking the summer to rest, regroup, and build something more sustainable behind the scenes. Thank you for listening, sharing, and being part of this community. We'll see you in August.

Matt, Erin, and friend of the show Hunter Hammersen are here this week talking about something a whole lot of Autistic people want and struggle with at the same time: friendship. Specifically, how do you make local, in-person friends when leaving the house already feels exhausting? Hunter shares her deeply Autistic, surprisingly effective friendship protocol involving spreadsheets, rules, recurring events, and finding “friend-shaped people” in places like libraries, rock shops, yarn stores, and grocery stores. The conversation digs into rejection sensitivity, masking, awkwardness, and why being “one sentence weirder” in public can actually help you find your people. We cover:• Why Autistic people aren’t actually “bad at people”• Going to events three times before deciding you hate them• “Autism sparkle” and signaling safely to other weirdos in public• Different levels of friendship and why acquaintances matter too• Building community through low-pressure invitations and shared activities• The difference between authentic connection and performing neurotypical social rules Also: Joanne Fabrics grief, silent book clubs, purple grocery store masks, Mary Poppins crack dealer energy, fabric scissors as weapons, and Matt describing himself as Gollum in public.

Matt and Erin are back for another mailbag episode — and this one gets deeply personal. From losing an “anchor person” to navigating autistic grief, relationships, PDA parenting, and co-regulation, this episode explores what happens when the people who help hold our world together are suddenly gone or overwhelmed. It’s vulnerable, funny, heartbreaking, and very, very autistic. We cover: Why autistic grief can feel like losing your “internal compass” — not just a loved one

Matt, Erin, and guest Nyck Walsh are here this week — and this episode turns into a really good conversation about somatic therapy, autistic processing, nervous systems, sensory joy, and why neutrality can feel radical when your body has spent years stuck in survival mode. We talk about: Rocks, Nintendo buttons, foodgasms, hypervigilance, and the very real experience of trying to exist in a world that keeps demanding “normal” Nyck explains “VAST” (Variable Attention Stimulus Trait) as a more affirming alternative to ADHD language Why a lot of somatic therapy can accidentally become ableist when interoception differences aren’t considered The autistic processing pause: looking away, slowing down, and needing time to actually build an accurate response Using rocks, pets, blankets, textures, fidgets, and sensory anchors to ground in the present moment The difference between sympathetic overdrive and parasympathetic rest — and why many autistic people rarely get to experience neutrality How pleasure, sensory joy, and “stopping to smell the roses” can become survival tools instead of luxuries Cats, Caprese omelets, NES controller fidgets, and the very important concept of the food dance Nyck’s new book Neurodivergent Somatics and Therapy and the upcoming audiobook narrated by Nyck themself Also: Erin accidentally inventing “somagic,” Tuck the adventure cat making emotional drive-bys, and a surprisingly deep discussion about how touching a really good rock can help keep your nervous system online. This is a ride. We’re glad you’re here.

This episode gets into perimenopause through an autistic lens—what it actually feels like, why it hits differently in autistic bodies, and how little real guidance exists. Matt, Erin, and Eleda talk through the biology, the lived experience, and the frustration of trying to make sense of something that affects so many people but still isn’t well understood—especially when you add autism into the mix. We cover: How sensory differences can amplify menopause symptoms (hot flashes, sweat, fatigue, migraines) into something much more intense The overlap between hormones, histamines, and autoimmune conditions—and why everything can spike at once The lack of research, missed diagnoses, and why so many autistic people are left figuring this out on their own Real, often overlooked symptoms (phantom smells, joint pain, anxiety surges) and what it’s like not knowing what’s happening to your body What it takes to advocate for care, find informed providers, and experiment with supports like HRT There’s no clean roadmap here. Just real talk, shared experience, and a starting point for conversations we should’ve been having a long time ago.