241 | Want to Build a Deeper Connection With Your Dog? Stop Telling Them to “Look at Me”
Beyond Obedience | Dog Training, Dog Body Language, Anxious Dogs, Scared Dogs, Reactive DogsShow Notes
Hey Dog Lover 🐾 Your dog notices another dog coming down the road. Their ears go up. Their body changes. They’re looking at that dog because, for whatever reason, that dog matters to them. And what do we so often do? “Look at me.” “Look at me.” “LOOK AT ME.” But why? Your dog knows the other dog is there. You know the other dog is there. Everybody knows the other dog is there. So why are we trying so hard to get our dogs to stop paying attention to the world and pay attention to us? What if we did something completely different? What if we looked too? In this episode, we’re talking about what connection with your dog actually looks like and why I think we’ve gotten part of it a little bit backwards. Because connection can’t just be about getting your dog to pay attention to you. Connection also requires you to pay attention to your dog. We’ll talk about: 🐾 Why I question our obsession with teaching dogs to “look at me” when something important is happening 🐾 What your dog may actually be communicating when they stop, stare, listen, or notice something in their environment 🐾 Why acknowledging what your dog sees doesn’t mean letting them make every decision 🐾 The difference between distracting your dog from something and experiencing it with them 🐾 Why being heard isn’t the same thing as getting your way 🐾 How simply saying, “Yep, I see it too,” can change the conversation between you and your dog 🐾 Why connection isn’t necessarily constant eye contact, a perfect heel, or a dog who is always focused on you 🐾 How those tiny moments when you and your dog notice the same sound, sight, or experience can build connection 🐾 Why caring about what matters to your dog can make you more relevant when you need your dog to care about what matters to you Because maybe we’ve made connection a little too one-sided. Come into my world. Look at me. Listen to me. Walk with me. Care about what I care about. Ignore what I tell you to ignore. But what happens when we occasionally turn that around and say: Show me yours. The next time your dog suddenly stops and looks at something, try looking too. What did they notice? What changed? What are they experiencing? You don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to turn it into a training exercise. And you don’t necessarily have to let your dog do what they want to do next. Just get curious. Because maybe building a deeper connection with your dog isn’t about getting them to pay more attention to you. Maybe sometimes it starts when you pay more attention to them. Hope you enjoy this one! Tracy xoxox RESOURCES 🐾 Join me for the FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp! BeyondObedience.ca/bootcamp 🐾 Take the Quiz! Beyond Obedience Dogonality Quiz 🐾 Read the Blog! Beyond Obedience Blog CONNECT WITH ME! Contact → [email protected] Podcast → Beyond Obedience Podcast Connect → Living Beyond Obedience Facebook Community Resources → Dogonality Quiz Merch → Beyond Obedience Store 🐾 NEXT STEPS 👣 Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog owners who are learning to lead through trust, relevance, and understanding. Join Living Beyond Obedience Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and respond to leadership. 👉 Take the Dogonality Quiz Step 3: Ready to stop guessing what to do when your dog is struggling? Join me for the completely free CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp, October 20th, 21st and 22nd. 👉 Save Your Spot for CALM DOWN, DOG! Music Credit 🎶: Shawn Trotter Shawn Trotter
More from Beyond Obedience | Dog Training, Dog Body Language, Anxious Dogs, Scared Dogs, Reactive Dogs
Hey Dog Lover 🐾 Is having an obedient dog the same thing as having influence over your dog? Not necessarily. Have you ever stopped to think about WHY you're asking your dog to do something? Is it because it's necessary, because it helps your dog navigate a situation, or simply because you expect them to listen? In this episode, I'm sharing a little encounter I had at the feed store with a very happy chocolate Lab and an interaction that made me say, out loud, "Ooh, gross!" And no, this isn't about whether asking your dog to sit is right or wrong. It's about something much bigger. The difference between obedience and influence. We're talking about what happens when we become so focused on getting our dogs to do what they're told that we forget to pay attention to what they're actually experiencing. Because influence isn't about controlling every moment or demanding compliance. It's about understanding your dog, recognizing what's happening around you, and making decisions that help the two of you navigate life together. And sometimes, the most important question isn't whether your dog listened. It's whether you were listening to your dog. Hope you enjoy this one! Tracy xoxox RESOURCES 🐾 Join me for the FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp! October 20th, 21st & 22nd https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp 🐾 Take the Dogonality Quiz! https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz 🐾 Read the Beyond Obedience Blog! https://beyondobedience.ca/blog CONNECT WITH ME! Contact → [email protected] Podcast → https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast Connect → Living Beyond Obedience Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Resources → https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz Merch → https://www.beyondobedience.ca/store 🐾 NEXT STEPS 👣 Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog lovers who want to understand their dogs, build better partnerships, and enjoy more of life together. https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and experience the world. https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz Step 3: Ready to stop guessing what to do when your dog is struggling? Join me for the completely FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp, happening October 20th, 21st & 22nd. Today's our final day! https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp Music Credit 🎶: Shawn Trotter http://www.shawntrotter.com
Hey Dog Lover 🐾 What happens when you don’t have a treat? Or your dog can’t have one? What happens when the equipment you usually rely on isn’t available—or when life hands you a situation you’ve never actually trained for? Let me be clear: I use treats. I use equipment. And I train my dogs. This isn’t an anti-treat episode. It’s a conversation about what we build underneath all of those things. In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between teaching your dog useful skills and building the foundation that helps the two of you navigate real life together. Because life with dogs isn’t a controlled training session. Eventually, the loose dog appears. Someone unexpectedly comes through the door. Something scares your dog. Your dog isn’t interested in the food in your pocket. Or you find yourself in a situation you never practiced for. And then what? We’ll talk about communication, influence, relevance, learning to read the dog in front of you, and why I don’t want a treat, tool, or training technique to be the reason this works. Use the treat. Use the equipment. Teach the skills. But build something underneath them. Because when the treat isn’t there, the equipment fails, or life hands you something you never trained for, I still want you and your dog to have each other. Hope you enjoy this one! Tracy xoxox 🐾 NEXT STEPS 👣 🐾 Join me for the FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp! October 20th, 21st & 22nd https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp 🐾 Take the Dogonality Quiz! https://beyondobedience.ca/quiz 🐾 Read the Beyond Obedience Blog! https://beyondobedience.ca/blog RESOURCES Contact → [email protected] Podcast → https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast Connect → Living Beyond Obedience Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Resources → https://beyondobedience.ca/quiz Merch → https://beyondobedience.ca/store CONNECT WITH ME! Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog lovers who want to understand their dogs, build better partnerships, and enjoy more of life together. https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog’s unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and experience the world. https://beyondobedience.ca/quiz Step 3: Ready to stop guessing what to do when your dog is struggling? Join me for the completely FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp, happening October 20th, 21st & 22nd. 👉 https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp Music Credit 🎶: Shawn Trotter http://www.shawntrotter.com/
Hey Dog Lover 🐾 You're personally invited to join me for my FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp! If you've been struggling with your dog's behaviour, feeling frustrated by everything you've tried, or wondering why things just aren't getting better, I'd love for you to join me. We're spending three days together looking at dog behaviour differently, learning to understand what's really happening, and exploring how you can become a more confident partner for your dog. No more guessing. No more searching for the next training technique. Just you, me, and a whole lot of dog talk! CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp 📅 October 20th, 21st & 22nd ⏰ 12 PM Eastern / 1 PM Atlantic 💻 LIVE on Zoom — with replays available! Save your FREE spot here: https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp I can't wait to see you there! Tracy xoxox
Hey Dog Lover 🐾 Have you ever wondered if YOU might be the reason your dog isn't getting better? Maybe you've tried the training, followed the advice, bought the equipment, and done everything you thought you weresupposed to do. And yet, your dog is still struggling. And somewhere along the way, you start wondering whether you're doing something wrong. Whether you're making things worse. Or whether your dog might actually be better off with somebody else. Ouch. That's a tough place to find yourself. In this episode, we're having a conversation that I think an awful lot of dog lovers need to hear. We're talking about the guilt, the second-guessing, and the pressure we put on ourselves when life with our dogs doesn't look the way we imagined. We'll explore the difference between taking responsibility and taking the blame, why struggling with your dog doesn't automatically mean you're failing them, and how a little curiosity can help you start seeing things differently. And I'm sharing one of my favourite questions to ask when things aren't going quite the way we'd hoped: How interesting! Because being part of what's happening doesn't mean you're the problem. It means you have an opportunity to be part of what changes. And maybe, just maybe, you're not the reason your dog can't get better. Maybe you're one of the reasons they can. Hope you enjoy this one! Tracy xoxox RESOURCES 🐾 Join me for the FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp! October 20th, 21st & 22nd https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp 🐾 Take the Dogonality Quiz! https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz 🐾 Read the Beyond Obedience Blog! https://beyondobedience.ca/blog CONNECT WITH ME! Contact → [email protected] Podcast → https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast Connect → Living Beyond Obedience Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Resources → https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz Merch → https://www.beyondobedience.ca/store 🐾 NEXT STEPS 👣 Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog lovers who want to understand their dogs, build better partnerships, and enjoy more of life together. https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog's unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and experience the world. https://www.beyondobedience.ca/quiz Step 3: Ready to stop guessing what to do when your dog is struggling? Join me for the completely FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp, happening October 20th, 21st & 22nd. https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp Music Credit 🎶: Shawn Trotter http://www.shawntrotter.com
Hey Dog Lover 🐾 When did living with your dog stop being fun? Maybe you got a dog because you pictured walks, adventures, companionship, road trips, or quiet nights curled up together. But somewhere along the way, life became less about enjoying your dog and more about managing them. Who’s coming over? Which route can we walk? What happens if we see another dog? Can I bring them? Should I leave them home? What if something goes wrong? And little by little, your world together starts getting smaller. In this episode, we’re talking about what happens when managing your dog begins to take over your relationship—and how to start finding your way back to actually enjoying life together. Because the answer isn’t necessarily throwing your dog into bigger, harder situations and hoping for the best. If your world has gotten smaller, start small and build out. I’ll give you some simple ways to start reconnecting with your dog at home, in your backyard, and eventually out in the world—while paying attention to what your dog actually enjoys and building from the places where you’re already successful together. Because the goal isn’t to create a dog who can go everywhere and do everything. The goal is to build a life that you and your dog actually enjoy living together. Hope you enjoy this one! Tracy xoxox 🐾 NEXT STEPS 👣 🐾 Join me for the FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp! October 20th, 21st & 22nd https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp 🐾 Take the Dogonality Quiz! https://beyondobedience.ca/quiz 🐾 Read the Beyond Obedience Blog! https://beyondobedience.ca/blog RESOURCES Contact → [email protected] Podcast → https://beyondobedience.ca/podcast Connect → Living Beyond Obedience Facebook Community https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Resources → https://beyondobedience.ca/quiz Merch → https://beyondobedience.ca/store CONNECT WITH ME! Step 1: Join the free Living Beyond Obedience community and connect with other dog lovers who want to understand their dogs, build better partnerships, and enjoy more of life together. https://facebook.com/groups/LivingBeyondObedience Step 2: Take the Dogonality Quiz to discover how your dog’s unique personality shapes the way they learn, communicate, and experience the world. https://beyondobedience.ca/quiz Step 3: Ready to stop guessing what to do when your dog is struggling? Join me for the completely FREE CALM DOWN, DOG! Bootcamp, happening October 20th, 21st & 22nd. 👉 https://beyondobedience.ca/bootcamp Music Credit 🎶: Shawn Trotter http://www.shawntrotter.com/