Valheim: The Board Game

Walker claims that his grandfather invented Crokinole, just because no one else is given credit. Next he'll be saying someone in his family invented poutine, or calculus even before Leibniz and Newton got to it. Heck, let's say an ancient Walker formalized Linear B and call it a day.

In addition to using The Seven Years War quasi-exclusively to refer to that conflict, Canadians have a bevy of unique regionalisms to delight and confound our American neighbours. Our standards and measures are famously opaque, switching between imperial (a person's height and weight, distances less than ~100 meters) and metric (temperature always [except when baking], non-human weights usually, volume always [OUNCES DON'T MAKE SENSE, Y'ALL], most long distances [except when driving, then we use time]).

"Oh, boardgaming's very popular, Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads — they all adore it. They think it’s a righteous hobby."

We cover the gamut of historical figures this week, from shy spiders, Thor, the Italian Masters, Iggy Pop, Terry Bogard, and one underexamined and grossly underappreciated figure in the form of Vasily Arkhipov. He made your life possible, so you owe him at least a day.

To paraphrase Sir Mix-a-Lot (O.B.E.), I like big bears and I cannot lie! Fat Bear Week is upon us. Let these corpulent kings of ursine excellence strut their stuff, and let us admire in awe at their tangible gains. These bears do not skip leg day. Some people have mukbang--we have out fat bears.