
Show Notes
This is the launch of The Relational Thread, a free weekly essay series from Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage that tells the story of their forthcoming Routledge book, EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread, and applies it to the room. Each essay is read aloud by its author — in our voice, not an AI narrator — and lives on Substack for anyone who'd rather read. The regular biweekly episodes of Notice That continue as always; this series is added on top. This first thread, "The Unnamed Thing," is Bridger's, reflecting on chapters one and two. Key themes The moment at the door. The felt sense that something shifted — or refused to — after a session, and why we've been trained to file it under "rapport" and write the protocol note instead. The thing isn't unnamed — in us it is. The literature has named it for decades (intersubjectivity, mutual recognition, the therapeutic alliance, the relational field). What it lacks is standing in the therapist's own internal ledger of what counts as real clinical material. The relationship as the most reliable predictor of outcome. What the research has been saying quietly for half a century, and why "non-specific factors" may be the signal rather than the noise. The space between is not a metaphor. Interpersonal neurobiology and attachment work suggest regulation, safety, and meaning are co-constructed between bodies, beneath language, in real time — held with appropriate humility, since the mechanisms are still contested. The stuck case, reframed. Immovability is rarely a malfunction. Compliance, perfect answers, and warmth that never quite lets you in are adaptations built in relationships where being fully seen wasn't safe. The refusal to shift is relational information, not the absence of it.
Practical clinical takeaways — what to bring into your next session Track the field like you track the target. Add one channel to the SUD/affect/body you already monitor: what is happening between us right now — closer or further, softer or more braced? You don't have to do anything with it yet. Tracking it is the skill. Let your own body count as assessment. Treat the heaviness, the impulse to lean in, the sudden distance as hypotheses about the field rather than contaminants of your objectivity — while holding that your body may also be reporting on your own history. Hold both at once. Try naming it out loud. "Feel like something just changed — what's coming up for you?" or "I sense there's something beneath this, but we can't quite see under it right now." Used with care, language like this turns the implicit field into shared, workable material — and it's often the exact experience a client has never had.
Concepts, frameworks & names mentioned (with light context) Flückiger et al. (2018) — meta-analysis synthesizing ~295 studies and 30,000+ clients; found the alliance–outcome correlation strong, stable, and consistent across modalities. Norcross & Lambert (2019) — reached a convergent conclusion on the relationship's role in outcomes from another direction. Wampold (2015) — "common factors" (alliance chief among them) account for more outcome variance than any specific technique. Allan Schore — right-hemisphere-to-right-hemisphere communication in the therapeutic dyad. Stephen Porges — co-regulation as a biological imperative (Polyvagal theory). Jessica Benjamin — mutual recognition: the moment two people become subjects to each other rather than objects. Interpersonal neurobiology / attachment literature — the broader case that co-regulation and meaning are built between nervous systems in real time (held provisionally).
Read the essay: The Relational Thread on Substack here! Most of us were handed fidelity checklists and taught to call the rest "non-specific." This thread makes the opposite wager: the felt shift at the door is not the soft part of your work — it may be the most important part, and it can be developed with the same rigor as any protocol. If
More from Notice That
Treatment planning for complex trauma works differently than planning for single-incident trauma. Instead of tracing one symptom back to one memory, the clinician maps a network: the before, during, and after of many connected experiences, and the identity structure the client built to survive them. This episode is the full audio from a free Beyond Healing Institute workshop in which Dr. Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage walk through the five-step process they use with complex trauma and C-PTSD presentations. The five steps 1. Identify the theme. A complex trauma theme is an identity structure, not a single negative cognition. It takes the form "I am ___ because ___, therefore I must ___," and it is built collaboratively in the client's own language. 2. Map the network. Past experiences, missing experiences (what the client needed and never got), current symptoms reframed as strategies, relational patterns including the therapeutic relationship, and strengths. 3. Sequence by distress. Theme-linked memories grouped into low (SUD 1 to 4), moderate (5 to 7), and high (8 to 10) bands, starting low to build tolerance and momentum. The "three doors." 4. Pendulate. Move between distress-focused and resource-focused work within and across sessions. In complex trauma, the window of tolerance is narrow on both sides, so clients need capacity for connection and resource as much as for distress. 5. Integrate. New responses with real people, a new felt sense outside the room, old expectations updated by new experience, and one small step in daily life each week. Integration starts in the first session. The framework draws on Somatic Integration and Processing (SIP), Beyond Healing's case conceptualization model, which looks at every case through three lenses: relationship (attachment and neurodevelopment), body (somatic psychology), and memory (adaptive information processing and memory reconsolidation). The case About two-thirds of the way through, Bridger and Jen present Cora, a composite client in her late twenties: autistic, diagnosed late after years of masking, raised in a high-control religious environment, sexually abused by a family member between ages nine and twelve, and disbelieved by her mother when she disclosed. In session she describes a memory she has never spoken aloud in a flat, precise voice and rates it a 2 out of 10 while the therapist's own body registers a 9. The workshop uses her case to show how a theme gets built, what resources fit that specific theme, and four low-distress entry points that could open the network without going straight to the abuse memories. Also covered - Why comprehensive trauma timelines can work against complex trauma clients, and what to do instead - Reframing symptoms as strategies and asking what each strategy still protects - What to do when a new crisis or a second theme shows up mid-treatment - Reading the therapist's own activation in the room without overriding the client's report Who this is for Therapists, counselors, and social workers working with complex trauma, C-PTSD, dissociation, and relational trauma, whether you use EMDR, TF-CBT, somatic approaches, or relational therapy. The planning process is modality-agnostic. Content note: this episode discusses childhood sexual abuse and dissociation in some clinical detail. This was recorded live on Zoom. You will hear references to slides, a Venn diagram, the chat, and a shared screen. The teaching holds without the visuals. For the slides, the recording, and the treatment planning worksheet walked through near the end: connectbeyondhealing.com/txp/?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=NT_ComplexTraumaPlanning_Therapists_Fall_2026 Upcoming from Beyond Healing Institute - Free workshop: The Case Beneath the Case, November 4, 12:00 to 1:30 pm Central: calendar.connectbeyondhealing.com/?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=NT_ComplexTraumaPlanning_Therapists_Fall_2026 - Somatic Integration and Processing training,
Recorded at the EMDRIA Conference 2026 in Anaheim, this conversation from the Notice That podcast's Notes from the Hall series features Ann Beckley-Forest, LCSW, RPT-S, on what has changed in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy with children since her book came out, why the next edition leans into the parents in the room, and the pre-verbal trauma work she is most excited about now. If the biggest payoff is in the caregiver relationship, how do you lead a session with more than one nervous system in it? Ann Beckley-Forest, LCSW, RPT-S, is a Registered Play Therapist Supervisor based in Buffalo, New York, co-founder of Playful EMDR, and co-editor, with Annie Monaco, of EMDR with Children in the Play Therapy Room. Find her at annbeckleyforest.com. Ann is a returning guest, and she brings news she says she has not said publicly yet: Springer has asked for a second edition of the book. We talk about what the new edition will add (a chapter on neurodiversity, more population-specific chapters, updated research, and a chapter on targets related to racism, oppression, and diversity from two contributors she describes as very deep thinkers); why the heart of the new content is mobilizing caregivers and parents even when that is messy; what it takes to lead a session with multiple nervous systems in the room; the small European study of the EMDR storytelling method with children from birth to four that she found exciting enough to go get trained in an infant mental health play therapy model; the perinatal and early childhood summit she is planning with Mara Tesler Stein and Annie Monaco for September 2027 in Niagara-on-the-Lake; why she thinks community is the missing link for child therapists and what she tells anyone feeling anonymous at a 2,000-person conference; what Derek Farrell's keynote affirmed for "the kid people"; what it feels like to reread your own chapter six years on; and how she keeps the play in a high-pressure week (capes, mugs, a booth team, and a trip to Disneyland). Notes from the Hall is a 26-episode series from the Notice That podcast, recorded on the floor of the EMDRIA Conference 2026 in Anaheim — a window into the largest gathering of EMDR therapists in the United States, for everyone who was there and everyone who couldn't be. Hosted by Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage. Produced by Beyond Healing Media. Explore the full series at connectbeyondhealing.com. Ann's earlier conversation on Notice That: https://art19.com/shows/notice-that-an-emdr-podcast/episodes/7b8a5ee5-c7e1-47d4-897b-7f60e7ec89b9 Listen/watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yXF0oeyVFfQ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
I'm an EMDR Therapist: Amanda Hearne on the First Year After Basic Training | Early Learner Basic training gives you the model. It can't give you the first year. That's the year where a lot of trained therapists quietly set EMDR down, and it's the year this conversation is about. Amanda Hearne got trained about five minutes after finishing her master's program and walked back into a domestic violence agency where nearly every client carried complex trauma. Eleven years later she's an EMDR Certified Therapist, an EMDRIA Approved Consultant-in-Training, and the voice behind @theemdrhealingpractice. Bridger and Jen sit down with her to talk about what held: a cohort that trained together, clients who could tolerate a therapist reading from a binder, and a decision about identity that changed everything downstream. This episode is part of our series for clinicians in their first year after EMDR Basic Training. IN THIS EPISODE - Getting trained straight out of grad school: the case for it, and the one honest con - Why empathy didn't feel like enough, and what a structured model gave a new therapist - The two things that buffered Amanda against never using EMDR: community and client trust - Walking in with the manual open, and letting clients know why - The twelve-to-twenty-session caseload, and why the full three-prong plan didn't fit - The recent event protocol, EMD, and why that is still EMDR - Capacity as the work, not the warm-up - The pressure to collect every advanced training right away, and why to hang tight - Consultation twice a month, and why CITs are a route worth knowing about - "Do you do EMDR?" "No, I'm an EMDR therapist." - The fear underneath "I'm still integrating it," and why no modality can satisfy it - Instagram, community after a move, and nurturing content for newly trained clinicians - Go with that, or notice that: the neon sign poll RESOURCES & LINKS Amanda Hearne — Live and Align Therapy: https://www.liveandaligntherapy.com/?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=NT_HearneFirstYear_Therapists_Fall_2026 Instagram: @theemdrhealingpractice Individual consultation and therapy (CA and TX): book through the Calendly on her site Mentioned in the episode: Recent Traumatic Episode Protocol (R-TEP), Elan Shapiro & Brurit Laub When There Are No Words, Sandra Paulsen Michelle Gottlieb, EMDR trainer and chronic pain specialist (Amanda's professor at Cal State Fullerton) Trauma Recovery/HAP (where Amanda's agency cohort trained) Lilly Risch — Burnout, Money, and Visibility with Lilly Risch | Notice That (the earlier episode on EMDR therapists and social media) The Relational Thread — Bridger & Jen's book and essay series: https://connectbeyondhealing.com/the-relational-thread/?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=relational_thread ABOUT NOTICE THAT Notice That is an EMDR podcast for therapists, counselors, and social workers, hosted by Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage, co-authors of EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread. The show explores the real clinical practice of EMDR therapy: attachment, ego states, somatic processing, resourcing, complex trauma, and the relationship doing the work. Subscribe for conversations that treat both you and your clients as human. #EMDR #EMDRtherapist #EMDRbasictraining #NewTherapist #TraumaTherapy #TherapistsOfInstagram #NoticeThatPodcast #EarlyLearner See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
A couple of weeks ago, I cried in a therapy session. Not the quiet, contained tear that can still be folded into a professional nod. I mean cried. My client was reading me something she had written, and it struck me in a way I didn't anticipate. And underneath the emotion was another reaction entirely: This is so unprofessional. Pull it together. What would a supervisor say if they saw this? Most of the time I no longer organize my work around those rules. And still, in that moment, the ghosts of professors, supervisors, consultants, and old versions of professionalism surfaced almost intact. They had been quiet for a long time. They were not gone. This week's essay is about what we were taught to hide. When ethics is taught primarily through prohibition, we may not be teaching therapists how to practice ethically. We may be teaching them how to follow rules, and then how to feel shame when they find themselves outside them. Restraint can be an act of care. But somewhere along the way, restraint became confused with disappearance. The therapist doesn't stop being human because the session begins, so the question was never whether our humanity enters the room. It already has. The question is what we do with it once it's here. Along the way: the questions I wish more clinicians were taught to ask in the moment; why the same disclosure can be deeply useful with one client and intrusive with another; why we can outgrow a rule intellectually long before our bodies stop bracing around it; and why "therapists are human too" can become its own excuse. Being genuine and being uncontained are not the same thing. Read the essay and subscribe (free, one essay a week): https://www.relationalthread.com/podcast?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=TRT_EssayNN_Therapists_Summer_2026 The Relational Thread grows from the forthcoming book EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Reclaiming the Relational Thread (2027) by Bridger Falkenstien & Jen Savage: https://connectbeyondhealing.com/the-relational-thread/?utm_source=nt&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=relational_thread Notice That is an EMDR podcast for therapists, counselors, and social workers, hosted by Bridger Falkenstien and Jen Savage. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
It's just the two of us this time. Bridger and Jen return to the model that sits underneath nearly everything we talk about on this podcast: Somatic Integration and Processing (SIP), Beyond Healing Institute's case conceptualization approach. Seven years and more than a thousand trained therapists in, we look at where SIP started, what has changed, and why it matters most at the stuck points in EMDR. We cover its three spheres (relationship, body, and memory) and the intersubjective space where they meet between therapist and client. Then we zoom in on one of the hardest stuck points: the SUD drops from a 9 to a 2, the client keeps answering your questions, and the activation is gone. We talk about why that moment usually doesn't call for another protocol or tool, and why the relationship itself can become the disconfirming experience. Stick around after we close for the full audio of the "What Is SIP?" case walkthrough, a composite case involving complex trauma, religious rigidity, and neurodivergence. In this episode The three spheres of SIP and why intersubjectivity matters so much How SIP has evolved as a living model over seven years Why a falling SUD with vanishing activation may not be progress Before, during, and after: seeing trauma, and in-session enactments, as patterns and not single moments Early attachment trauma and why the therapist can feel like the threat The "what do I do?" question, and why it works best after you zoom out Shared language for clients, colleagues, and ourselves Resources Watch the "What Is SIP?" video and download the free companion worksheet: connectbeyondhealing.com/sip SIP alumni can retake the training for free Upcoming trainings and workshops (calendar.connectbeyondhealing.com) SIP: When the Target Won't Move, our first training for Australia and New Zealand (8:30 PM to 1:30 AM Central) Enactment Focused EMDR: Nov 11, 12:30 to 4:30 PM Central AI in the Therapy Room: Dec 2, 9 AM to 1 PM Central EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship: Dec 9, 12:30 to 4:30 PM Central EMDR and Grief: Jan 6, 12:30 to 4:30 PM Central Free workshops and longer CE workshops ($95) can be filtered on the course calendar. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.