From Pain to Purpose with Kim Patton Part 1

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! For this episode, I am joined by an adult adoptee who is starting to share his story and educate parents on what it means to have a transracial adoption: Michael Gaither. Michael Gaither was born in 1972 and immediately given to white parents who lived in a predominantly white suburb in Nebraska. Growing up, Michael felt completely out of place and struggled with feeling emotionally secure at home, and especially at school – getting teased constantly for looking so different from everyone else. He had anger issues, would sneak food at night, and when he finally did meet other black kids like him, he didn’t know how to connect with them. He felt completely lost. Flash forward to today, things are much different than the 70s when it comes to diversity and culture, but there is still so much that parents need to know. For myself, with an adopted Marshalleese child, I deeply want to make sure my child knows she is safe and loved and can embrace her roots. That is why I am so glad Michael shares his story with us and we discuss ways parents can create a healthy, safe dynamic with their kids in exploring who they are. Let’s dive in! Key topics in this episode: The experience of being a transracial adoptee and feeling of not fitting in The importance of understanding and discussing race and identity in adoptive families Strategies for parents to create safe and inclusive environments The significance of representation and role models for Black children The process and emotional impact of reuniting with biological family The need for ongoing education and intentionality in adoption

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! For this episode, I am joined by Stasi Eldredge. Stasi Eldredge loves writing and speaking to women about the goodness of God. She became a Christian her junior year in college and dove into the ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. After graduating, Stasi joined Youth for Christ, heading up a ministry to pregnant teenagers and teen mothers. She has been active in ministry ever since, including theater ministry, crisis pregnancy center ministry, women’s ministry, and children’s ministry. She is married to author, counselor, and teacher John Eldredge, and she herself is an author and podcaster. Her recent book is titled, “The Ladder of Love: A Pathway to Emotional Healing and Spiritual Intimacy With Jesus.” In our conversation today, we discuss how knowing just how much God loves you can truly change how you approach life. We dive into how much healing needs to happen within us and how it can happen through relationships and challenges in our life. One of the biggest things Stasi encourages us, as foster and adoptive parents, is to never isolate because isolation leads to decay! God doesn’t want you alone, He wants you in both His presence and in the presence of others who also love you. Let’s dive in! Key topics in this episode: Healing from wounds and lies believed about oneself The importance of vulnerability and trust in relationships How relationship with God reveals our true identity The impact of secondary trauma on foster and adoptive parents Practical steps to deepen intimacy with God The significance of small daily moments in spiritual life Encouragement for women feeling overwhelmed and exhausted The role of secure attachment in healing and trust

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! For this episode, I am joined by Phyllis Robertson Thomas, author of the book, “I Never Knew” which centers on her relationship with her biological father, Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty. Phyllis had no idea Phil was her father till very recently after her son took a genealogy test for fun! It has answered so many questions in her life and also powerfully revealed God’s goodness. In our conversation today, we discuss Phyllis’s story but also her experience growing up in a broken, dysfunctional home, and her experience now as a nurse and licensed child therapist working with social workers and foster kids. There is so much insight Phyllis shares from her background and also her testimony. Let’s dive in! Key topics in this episode: The importance of honesty and transparency in foster and adoptive families Understanding the concept of felt safety and its role in healing The significance of attachment and family systems in a child's sense of stability The role of faith, prayer, and discernment in navigating family secrets and trauma The impact of dysfunction and resilience in shaping identity Practical advice for creating safe spaces for children to explore their feelings The importance of patience, waiting, and God's timing in healing processes The concept of lament and embracing discomfort as part of growth God's ability to bring beauty from ashes and heal broken pieces

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! For this episode, I am joined by author, social worker, and licensed therapist, Nicole Langman. Nicole’s entire world was turned upside down when she walked through a devastating divorce which filled her life with grief. She was shocked to find a vacuum of support from her church and community. No one seemed to understand this grief – the loss of dreams and the story you thought you had. This is something we are all too familiar with as adoptive and foster parents. In our conversation, we discuss honoring the broken dreams and stories we prayed for and how to move through it in faith. Let’s dive in! Key topics in this episode: The crickets of grief and the absence of support in non-death losses How to honor and validate grief that isn't related to death Carrying grief in a healthy way that honors the loss and trusts God's sovereignty The importance of community, prayer, and support in grief work Practical tools for managing overwhelming emotions and embracing the story that is The role of faith and biblical examples like Job in enduring suffering Helping children process grief and loss in a healthy way The significance of shifting focus from pain to hope and trust in God's plan The importance of being a good student of your story and learning from it Encouragement for adoptive and foster families to trust God's purpose

Welcome to the Called to Love Podcast! For this episode, I am joined by Melissa Miller. Melissa is the mom to five kids, biological and adopted, and she is an advocate for vulnerable children in foster care. Besides being a busy mom, Melissa is also a Reboot Retreat facilitator in her home state Tennessee, the author of “But I Prayed for This” and a contributor to sites such as Mother.ly, Her View from Home, and the YouVersion Bible app. In our conversation today, we unpack all the emotional complexities that come with this calling. This is something we prayed for and yet there is so much pain and grief when the child finally enters our home, and it is hard to wrestle with. It can be hard to share those feelings with others, thinking they will say, “But you prayed for this. This is what you wanted.” The guilt and shame that can come with this feeling, thinking we should be grateful and happy God answered the prayer, but it feels nothing like we imagined. We get into all of this as Melissa shares her story and elaborates more on how we can walk this out in our families. Let’s dive in! Key topics in this episode: Constant changes can cause fatigue and impact families The importance of validation and compassion Balancing grief and gratitude in difficult seasons Building rhythms and routines for stability The role of faith and God's sovereignty in healing