Demand Avoidance: Why It's Not Always Pathological-Daniel Dashnaw
Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.Show Notes
During this session from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference, Daniel Dashnaw discusses the concept of demand avoidance, challenging the conventional view that it is inherently pathological. Demand avoidance can sometimes serve as a healthy response to overwhelm, misaligned expectations, or autonomy needs. He will also briefly touch on research from neurodiversity, social dynamics, and stress regulation. His goal is to expand demand avoidance as a spectrum behavior that can signal unmet needs or adaptive coping rather than wholesale dysfunction. He will also offer a few clinical insights into recognizing, understanding, and addressing demand avoidance in a compassionate and constructive way.
Daniel Dashnaw MFT, is the co-founder of Couples Therapy Inc., the largest evidence-based couples therapy practice in the USA. Daniel specializes in working with the neurodiverse, in both his part time work in a public health agency, and his private practice.
Known for his compassionate yet no-nonsense approach, he draws upon cutting-edge research and therapeutic techniques, including the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy, to help couples rebuild trust, improve communication, and deepen their connection.
You can reach Daniel at the link below: https://danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com/
More from Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.
It has been an honor and a privilege for me to have hosted and co-hosted the Neurodiverse Love podcast since the fall of 2020. I will be forever grateful to my dear friend Olga, who agreed to start this podcast journey with me in the middle of the pandemic, and to all my co-hosts who have partnered with me along the way: Manecia, Greg, Nicole and Bronwyn.
This wonderful conversation is one of the amazing panel discussions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference.
The four part Neurodiverse Love Docuseries shows how 4 neurodiverse couples navigate different communication styles, emotional needs, sensory and physical intimacy differences, and employment and special interests. In addition, three therapists/coaches who work with neurodiverse couples share strategies, tools and insights that can help neurodiverse couples navigate their strengths, challenges and differences. Check out the first 2 episodes here: https://www.neurodiverselove.com/the-documentary
The intro and first two episodes of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries are available here. The first episode addresses communication differences and the second episode focuses on emotional reciprocity.
This episode is a very informative panel discussion from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. The following individuals participated in this conversation and I hope you find the information they shared helpful.