
Show Notes
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Alison Cook to talk about attachment, emotional healing, and the ways our relationships shape how we understand ourselves, others, and God. We all have a deep need for connection, safety, and belonging, but we can sometimes place too much pressure on the people around us to meet those needs. Dr. Cook explains why human relationships are important while also reminding us that no person can be the ultimate source of everything our souls need. There is a deeper attachment available to us through God. We also talk about what happens when old wounds surface, particularly when we finally feel safe enough for those parts of us to emerge. Dr. Cook describes these experiences as “soul ruptures”, moments when core memories and beliefs about ourselves can become activated. Instead of responding with shame or criticism, we can learn to slow down, notice what we're feeling, and become curious about what that part of us needs. This conversation is especially meaningful for moms who spend so much of their time caring for everyone else. When we’re constantly focused on our children’s needs, it can be easy to lose touch with what’s happening inside of us. Dr. Cook encourages us to make space for our own souls, tend to the younger parts of ourselves that still need care, and allow God’s healing presence into those places. Our souls are worth tending to, too. In This Episode
Why attachment is such a fundamental human need
Why we can’t expect another person to meet all of our emotional needs
What divine attachment means and how God becomes our ultimate source of connection
Why parts of us can surface when we finally feel safe
What a soul rupture is and how core memories can continue to affect us
How shame and blame show up when we feel like we don’t belong
Learning to recognize and care for the younger parts of ourselves
What it means to “parent your soul”
Recognizing our internal bids for connection
Why healing requires space for difficult emotions
How moms can make more room for their own emotional and spiritual needs
Why we don’t change through shame or criticism
Connect with Dr. Alison Cook:
Website: Dr. Alison Cook
Instagram: Dr. Alison Cook | Psychotherapist + Secure Attachment (@dralisoncook)
Facebook: Dr. Alison Cook
Links Mentioned:
The Secure Soul: By Dr. Alison Cook
Boundaries for Your Soul: By Dr. Alison Cook
You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: By Richard Schwartz PhD
Dr. Alison Cook | The Best of You Podcast
The Best of You Every Day Podcast - 8 minute devotional
Related Episodes:
Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 1) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 498]
Building Healthy Relationships by Exploring Adult Attachment Patterns (Part 2) :: Charissa Lopez [Ep 499]
Strengthening the Relationship with Your Adult Child :: Kathy Cunningham [Ep 543]
Featured Sponsors:
Our place: Upgrade your kitchen with Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/DMA and use code DMA for 10% off sitewide. With a 100-day trial, you can try it completely risk-free.
Oak Essentials: The Luminous Body Lotion has sold out multiple times — and once you try it, you’ll understand why. Head to Oakessentials.com and use code [DMA] for 15% off your first order at checkout.
Lola Blankets: For a limited time, our listeners can get 40% OFF select Lola Blankets products with code [DMA] at checkout. Just head to LolaBlankets.com and use code [DMA] to get 40% OFF your order. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola Blankets.
More from Don't Mom Alone Podcast
In The Prodigal’s Mother, author Vela Tomba, a mom of three adult children, helps moms navigate the challenges of parenting adult and young adult kids. Through her own 36-year journey of motherhood, she has learned the freedom and peace that come from letting go of the need to rescue, fix, and control our children’s lives. She encourages moms to stay in their own “hula hoop,” trust God, and discover joy even when their children’s stories look different than they imagined. About This Episode What happens when your child’s life doesn’t follow the script you imagined? In this conversation, Vela shares how our expectations for our children can become idols, leading us to rescue, control, and tie our own peace to their choices. We talk about the heartbreak of having a prodigal child and how to trust God when your child’s choices take them down a different path than you hoped. Through releasing our grip, embracing the reality of our children’s stories, and trusting God to write His script, not ours, we can find peace, freedom, and joy even in the hardest seasons of motherhood. In this episode, we discuss:
Melissa Harrison is the President and CEO of 4word, an organization that equips professional Christian women to integrate their faith and work through community, mentoring, and leadership development. 4word creates spaces where women can build authentic connections, grow in their leadership, and live out their purpose in every season of life. Melissa brings a unique perspective as a working mom navigating career, family, faith, and the many demands that come with trying to do it all. About This Episode What happens when you're trying to be a great mom, a great employee or leader, a good friend, and still take care of yourself? In this conversation, Melissa and I talk honestly about the pressure women feel to do it all, and what can get lost along the way. We talk about the loneliness that can come with busy seasons, why friendship and connection often get pushed to the bottom of the list, and the importance of intentionally making space for people. Whether you're a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, there's an invitation to step back and ask: Who am I beyond the roles I fill, and what would it look like to stop carrying everything alone? In This Episode, We Talk About:
Amanda Taylor is the woman behind From Playgrounds to Psych Wards, where she shares her story of postpartum mental illness, recovery, motherhood, faith, and hope. After the birth of her fourth child in 2013, following a traumatic labor and delivery, Amanda experienced severe postpartum mental health challenges that ultimately became an 18-month journey through postpartum psychosis, hospitalization, and recovery. Today, she uses her story to help other women and families recognize the warning signs, ask for help, and remember that there is hope beyond the darkest seasons. We talk about the difference between the normal challenges of new motherhood, postpartum depression and anxiety, and something more serious like postpartum psychosis? In this powerful conversation, Amanda shares her firsthand experience of racing thoughts, sleeplessness, becoming disconnected from reality, hospitalization, and the long road back to herself. We talk about the warning signs that require immediate support, the critical role caregivers and family members play, how postpartum mental illness can impact a marriage, and how friends and church communities can practically support a struggling family. Most importantly, Amanda shares a message of hope for the mom who cannot imagine feeling normal again: your story is not over, you are not a burden, and healing is possible. In This Episode:
Vicki Courtney is an author, speaker, and mom who has spent years helping parents navigate the hard conversations that come with raising kids in today’s culture. Through her books and ministry, she equips parents to talk honestly with their kids about faith, culture, relationships, and the challenges they’re facing. In this top 10 episode (which originally aired on March 18, 2019), Vicki and I talk about how to parent with courage and humility in a culture that can feel increasingly unfamiliar to Christian families. Instead of parenting from fear, Vicki encourages us to make space for honest questions, lead with love, and create an environment where our kids know they can come to us with anything. Even when the world feels uncertain, Jesus is still our hope, and our kids need parents who are willing to walk alongside them as they wrestle with faith.
Today’s guest is Crystal Paine, founder of MoneySavingMom.com and a longtime advocate for helping families save money, manage their finances, and live with greater intention. Crystal is passionate about helping women find financial peace and make practical changes with whatever they have, wherever they are. In This Episode We’re talking about the fear, stress, and emotions that can come with money, and how to move toward greater financial peace. Crystal shares practical habits anyone can start using today, whether you’re paying off debt, trying to save, or simply wanting to feel more confident about where your money is going. We talk about: