The Extra Legendary Bit: The Car Salesman Who Passed Himself Off as a War Hero

The most powerful man in the known world walked up to him and asked if there was anything he could do for him. He was lying in the sun at the time. His answer was: "You could stand out of my light."

Episode Bio: Today we learn about a stray dog in Athens who turned up to every single protest, and was so unbothered by tear gas that it eventually killed him. The Extra Legendary Bit is where Johnny Vaughan and Gavin "The Woodman" Woods dive into your messages and uncover the gloriously unhinged tales sent in by the Bloomin' Legends nation. What You'll Hear in This Episode: 🐕 Loukanikos, the riot dog of Athens – George writes in to ask whether you can be a bloomin' legend if you aren't even human. Loukanikos settles it: a stray who attended Greek protests for years, cared for by left-wing groups, commemorated in murals, and whose name doubles as slang for a Molotov cocktail 🦁 Dogs that were bred to hunt lions – Johnny and Gav on the mastiff problem: the owners who insist their donkey-sized dog is "great with kids," the ones with clipped ears, and why anything bred to chase a lion probably shouldn't be on the Tube 💥 What if rioters had their own dogs? – the thought experiment nobody asked for. Riot dogs. Rioters with water cannons. And Riot Dogs as a three-piece band, complete with spray-painted logo 👟 The dog poo landmine – Vincent's boss spent an entire conversation with his foot pressed down on a fresh one, too frightened to lift it in case the smell gave him away 🎤 I Will Survive, Vic Reeves style – K nominates their dad for a club-singer rendition in an Irish bar in Spain that split the room clean in half and earned them free drinks all night 🦉 The owl-drawn carriage – one listener writes in from aboard his Mark II Luxor, powered by twelve owls, six a side, for stability during low-level flight

Mercenary. Shipwreck survivor. Pirate. Beheaded three men in single combat on the same afternoon. Enslaved and shipped to Constantinople as a gift. Killed his own master with a threshing bat and escaped on horseback across the Russian Steppes. All of that happened before he arrived at Jamestown, aged 27. In this episode, Johnny Vaughan and Gavin "The Woodman" Woods take on Captain John Smith, a man with a CV so absurd that historians spent centuries assuming he'd invented most of it, only for modern research to keep confirming he really was where he said he was. What You'll Hear in This Episode: ⚔️ The triple beheading – challenged to single combat by a bored Ottoman officer at the Siege of Alba Iulia, with the loser's head as the prize. Smith won. Then the man's friend stepped up. Then a third. He was knighted for it and granted a coat of arms showing three severed heads ⛓️ Sold into slavery – shipped to Constantinople as a gift for a Turkish noblewoman, sent on to her brother in Crimea to have his manners softened, and put to work threshing grain 🐎 The escape – one beating too many, so he killed his master, put on the dead man's clothes and rode across the Russian Steppes to freedom ⚖️ Nearly hanged on the way to America – accused of mutiny, clamped in irons, and marked for execution at the Canary Islands. The ship never stopped there. When the sealed orders were finally opened, he'd been named one of the colony's governors all along 🌽 "He that will not work shall not eat" – his brutal single year running Jamestown, during which colony deaths dropped sharply compared with the years either side 🐟 The stingray – speared one for food, got stung in the wrist, swelled so badly his men started digging his grave. He recovered by nightfall and ate the ray for dinner. The spot is still called Stingray Point 🗺️ He named New England – his Chesapeake map was so accurate settlers used it for 50 years, and the Mayflower expedition took his maps and books with them. They didn't take him. He was too expensive Plus: why he was never invited back, what happened to Jamestown the moment he left, and why Johnny and Gav put him straight in at number one on the Bloomin' Legendary Leaderboard. If you love adventure history, pirates, explorers, unbelievable true stories and larger-than-life characters, this episode of Bloomin' Legends is for you. Got a legend you want us to cover? 📩 Send it to: [email protected] 📲 Follow us on TikTok & Instagram: @BloominLegends 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bloominlegends Listen to all episodes on Global Player, download the app, or visit www.globalplayer.com Bloomin' Legends is a Global production Produced by Ben Fairclough New episodes are released every Wednesday & Sunday. Subscribe to never miss an episode!

Welcome back to Bloomin' Legends! The Extra Legendary Bit is the bonus episode where Johnny Vaughan and Gavin "The Woodman" Woods leave the history books behind and dive into the gloriously unhinged stories sent in by you, the listeners. This week it's a masterclass in bullshido — "people who sweep the leg of truth in the dojo of deceit" — plus two dads who deserve legendary status. What You'll Hear in This Episode: 🚜 The Weather-Activated Weapon – Tom Baxter's late dad, Robert "Bob" Baxter, lost patience with dog walkers cutting through the family's hedgerow. His solution: a slurry spreader full of pig muck, the entire household's supply of bog roll, and a second pass for luck. It worked. It also returned, violently, every time it rained. 🌳 The Tree Fellas – Listener Mike Thomas on rugby's Billy Twelvetrees, the nickname "36", and the family tree surgery business the surname was made for. 💎 The Black Diamonds – Tom in Shrewsbury's dad Phil and his mates blagged their way past Liverpool pub queues for months as a band that didn't exist — armed with a towel, a Scouse accent and exactly one rehearsed note. 👮 "Can't catch me now, coppers" – How the same man spent months drinking underage in a police social club as "Brian", and how his 18th birthday blew his cover. Got a story that can top this week's madness? 📩 Send it to [email protected] and we'll decide if it's Bloomin' Legendary or just brilliantly bonkers. 📲 Follow us on TikTok & Instagram: @BloominLegends 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bloominlegends Listen to all episodes on Global Player, download from your app store or visit www.globalplayer.com This is a Global Original Podcast, produced by Ben Fairclough.

In the Wild West, you didn’t need receipts. You just needed a good story — and Calamity Jane had hundreds of them. She said she was a crack shot. An army scout. A battlefield hero. Wild Bill Hickok’s lover. Possibly his wife. Possibly the mother of his child. She claimed she rescued a wounded captain, swam a mile-wide river with a horse, then rode 90 miles at full speed to deliver dispatches. The problem? A huge amount of it was probably complete nonsense. Like a certain current US President... Johnny Vaughan and Gavin "The Woodman" Woods take on Calamity Jane, the hard-drinking, chaos-magnet frontier woman who became so good at myth-making that the fake version of her life eventually became more famous than the real one. By the time dime novels, Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show and Jane’s own autobiography were finished, she had basically written herself into history. What you'll hear in this episode: 🤠 Why was she REALLY called Calamity Jane? – Jane claimed it came from heroic battlefield exploits. Another explanation is much funnier: she was simply a walking disaster 🔫 The Wild West’s greatest self-promoter? – scouting, gunfighting, rescues, military campaigns… Jane’s life story gets more spectacular every time she tells it 🐎 The mile-wide river story – one horse, one freezing river, 90 miles at top speed and a tale that sounds increasingly heroic the longer you think about it ♠️ Wild Bill Hickok: husband, lover… or bloke she knew for a month? – Jane claimed romance, marriage and even a child. Historians remain unconvinced 📚 How the myth swallowed the woman – dime novels transformed Jane into an unbeatable gunslinger before she started selling her own version of the story 🎪 Fake it ’til you make it: Wild West edition – after years of telling the legend, Jane joined Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show and literally got paid to perform it 💰 The fundraiser from hell – Jane reportedly raised money for her daughter’s education, got hammered, then left town with the cash 🎩 Plus: Deadwood chaos, gunslingers, horse stamina, bizarre frontier deaths, lorry kids and whether Calamity Jane was legendary enough for the leaderboard If you love history podcasts, Wild West stories, American history, unbelievable true stories, historical scams and people who were spectacularly loose with the truth, this episode of Bloomin' Legends is for you. Did Calamity Jane make the Bloomin' Legendary leaderboard — or was the biggest legend of all simply the one she invented herself? Listen to find out, and tell us whether she deserves a place. Got a legend you want us to cover? 📩 Send it to: [email protected] 📲 Follow us on TikTok & Instagram: @BloominLegends 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bloominlegends Listen to all episodes on Global Player, download the app, or visit www.globalplayer.com Bloomin' Legends is a Global production Produced by Ben Fairclough New episodes are released every Wednesday & Sunday. Subscribe to never miss an episode!