Show Notes
Amy Betters-Midtvedt, author of You'll Make It, and They Will Too, joins us to share her experience raising five teenagers and offers practical advice on effective communication, handling dating and social media, and fostering mental health and responsibility. Full Show Notes
Parenting teens can often feel like navigating a minefield, fraught with miscommunications, emotional upheavals, and a constant barrage of new challenges. Many parents find themselves at a loss, longing for the days when their greatest worry was whether their child would eat their vegetables or play nicely with others. When it comes to teenagers, the stakes often feel much higher, and the navigation significantly murkier. How do you maintain open lines of communication with your teen? What should you do when they break the rules or need direction? How can you help them deal with the pressures of social media, or the heartbreak of their first serious relationship? We’re joined this week by Amy Betters-Midtvedt, an author and seasoned parent who knows these challenges all too well. Amy is the author of the new book, You'll Make It, and They Will Too: Everything No One Talks About When You're Parenting Teens. With five teenagers of her own, Amy has seen and experienced the multitudes of teenage tribulations and triumphs. Her engaging narratives and insightful advice have garnered her over a million readers and appearances in publications like HuffPost and Parents Magazine. The Inspiration Behind the Book Amy reveals that the idea for her book came from personal moments of loneliness and confusion, wondering if other parents dealt with similar struggles. She highlights that conversations about parenting teens often fall silent, creating isolation for parents. Her goal with the book is to provide guidance and camaraderie, sharing wisdom and commiserative anecdotes in an easily digestible format. Effective Communication with Teens One of the standout strategies Amy discusses is the power of noticing and naming positive behaviors. Highlighting what children are doing right can help reinforce those behaviors, whereas constantly pointing out what they’re doing wrong can tear down their self-esteem and create friction. As an educator, Amy understands the profound impact that language can have on shaping a child's self-perception and her approach has been both simple and transformative. Different Kids, Different Rules Amy’s experience with five unique children underscores the necessity of individualizing rules and expectations. She compares this to how different injuries require different treatments rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. This strategy is respectful of each child’s individual journey and needs, rather than trying to enforce uniformity. This personal touch helps keep the lines of communication open and reinforces trust within the family. Handling Dating and Romantic Relationships When it comes to teenage dating and relationships, Amy underscores the importance of being a supportive, non-judgmental, listening ear. Navigating teenage heartbreak is about empathy and presence, rather than rushing in to solve or fix their problems. She also emphasizes the importance of knowing when professional help is needed for mental health issues, drawing parallels to how we wouldn’t hesitate to seek medical help for a physical injury. Welcoming the Teen Coming Home from College A special chapter discusses the unique challenges and joys of welcoming home a college student. Amy talks about managing expectations and understanding that the child who comes back from college may be different from the one who left. Supporting their newfound independence while maintaining house rules requires a delicate balance, but it’s a rewarding experience. In the Episode… Amy Betters-Midtvedt shares invaluable advice that any parent of a teen can benefit from: How to maintain open and effective communication with teens Balancing different rules for different kids Empathizing and supp
More from Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers
Kenneth Ginsburg, author of Lighthouse Parenting, explains how parents can build lasting bonds with teens by balancing structure, trust, and unconditional love, and shares practical communication strategies. Full Show Notes
Robert Finlay, author of Hey Dad, shares essential strategies on how parents can equip teens with crucial adulting skills, covering money management, networking, handling emergencies, and building independence. Full Show Notes
Christine Miles, author of What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?, teaches us how transformational listening can deepen connections with teenagers by hearing what's unsaid, asking the right questions, and creating life-changing conversations. Full Show Notes
Richard Orbé-Austin, author of Your Child's Greatness, discusses imposter syndrome, perfectionism, boundaries, and how parents can empower teens to build true resilience and self-confidence. Full Show Notes As parents, we want the best for our teenagers. We hope they'll be successful academically, thrive socially, and embrace the opportunities ahead. But lurking beneath the surface for many adolescents—and adults—is the pervasive doubt called imposter syndrome: the haunting fear of being revealed as a fraud, not belonging, or never being good enough. Surprisingly common, imposter syndrome can emerge quietly and lead our teens toward patterns of perfectionism, people-pleasing, anxiety, and even deeper stress. But how can parents recognize the signs of imposter feelings in their kids? And more importantly, how do we help teens develop the resilience, confidence, and realistic self-image that protect them against its harmful effects? To unravel these questions, we're joined by Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin, psychologist and co-author of Your Child's Greatness. An expert on imposter syndrome, Richard understands how these subtle feelings of doubt can sometimes quietly shape a person's identity, often beginning at a young age. He provides practical, down-to-earth strategies parents can use to nurture healthier mindsets in teens, helping them genuinely own their strengths while managing the anxieties involved in growth and change. Understanding Teen Imposter Syndrome
Ethan Kross, author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You, explains how teens and parents can become adept at emotional regulation, manage upsetting feelings effectively, and develop healthier responses to life's challenges. Full Show Notes Emotional regulation—the ability to manage and shift our feelings—has huge implications for everyone, especially teenagers. It's a life skill that might just make the difference between thriving or struggling in adulthood. Teens understandably grapple with heightened emotions and can sometimes feel controlled by them rather than the other way around. But what if we could teach them how to manage their emotions and build resilience early on? The effects of emotional dysregulation can be major: kids who struggle with this skill are more likely to face substance abuse, school dropout, and even criminal behavior as they grow older. Meanwhile, teens who are skilled at managing their emotional states tend to excel academically, professionally, and have healthier relationships overall. The good news is that emotion regulation is a learnable and teachable skill, with far-reaching positive effects if mastered during adolescence. In this episode, we're joined once again by Ethan Kross, award-winning professor, renowned researcher, and author of the new book Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You. Ethan has dedicated his career to unpacking the mystery of our emotional worlds, blending cutting-edge research with practical, actionable insights. As both a scientist and a parent of a teen himself, Ethan understands deeply how crucial it is to arm our kids (and ourselves!) with simple yet powerful emotional regulation strategies. In our conversation, Ethan shares eye-opening findings, common misconceptions, and accessible, effective tools for parents who want to raise emotionally intelligent and resilient teenagers. Why Emotional Regulation Matters for Teens Emotion impacts every aspect of a teen's daily life—friendships, schoolwork, athletics, and family relationships. Despite its importance, emotional skills are often overlooked, leaving kids unequipped to manage powerful feelings. Ethan reveals eye-opening research, from classic experiments to recent ground-breaking studies, that clearly connect teens' successes and setbacks later in life to how well they can manage their emotional states. Ethan emphasizes that there are no "bad" emotions—anger, sadness, anxiety all serve valuable evolutionary purposes. Rather than suppressing these feelings, Ethan offers strategies to help teens learn to tune into their emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. He also tackles the "myth of universal approach," noting that always facing or always avoiding tough feelings isn't the right solution—teens must learn flexibility instead. Teaching Teens Practical Ways to Shift Their Emotions So how can parents and educators tangibly equip teens with emotional regulation skills? Ethan shares practical interventions from research that really work. For example, understanding how our surroundings influence our emotional states empowers teens to strategically modify their spaces to feel less anxious or stressed. Ethan discusses how teens can make small changes, like placing items or images in their environment that effectively boost their mood and sense of calm. He also explains broader methods, like the proven WOOP framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, and Plan). WOOP is essentially an easy-to-use reference for teens (and adults) when emotions inevitably flare up. Ethan breaks down how parents can talk teens through this process, helping them clearly define how they want to act during difficult times—rather than becoming reactive or impulsive. Subtle (and Powerful) Ways to Help Teens Sometimes offering too much direct help can backfire, causing teens to feel disempowered or defensive. Ethan reveals research that shows invisible support—the kind teens don't realize you're giving—can play a hu