Show Notes
A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing. 🔑 Key Topics Covered: • Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire • The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states • Why safety must come before any trauma work • How to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it • The problem with "hacks" and shortcuts in healing 🎯 My Approach: Instead of prescribed movements, I focus on: Building a strong safety foundation first Mindfully connecting with your current state Allowing natural self-regulation to unfold Following your body's wisdom, not external protocols
📚 Want to Learn More? Join the Unstucking Academy - a small, intimate community (limited to 150 members) where we practice these principles together. Features the Unstucking Pathway: bite-sized lessons under 10 minutes each, taking you from Polyvagal basics to mastering skills like pendulation and balancing. 👉 Learn more: StuckNotBroken.com/UnstuckingAcademy Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction and Disclaimer 00:28 - Viewer Question About TRE Exercises 01:24 - Perspective on TRE and Trauma Recovery 04:01 - Understanding Fight/Flight and Shutdown States 08:01 - Additional Context About Freeze State 10:32 - Importance of Safety and Mindful Movement 12:18 - Addressing the Original Question 15:01 - Information About the Unstucking Academy 📱 Ready to practice self-regulation? Try the Stuck Not Broken app for free - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/app?src=podcast 🌸 Not sure which stuck state you're in? Recognize where you're at and join the free community here - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=stuck-page 🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point here - https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=how-i-can-help 🙂 Don't know the Polyvagal Theory? Catch up here - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0 This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147). Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
More from Stuck Not Broken
Most people believe change is possible. The harder question is whether you believe it’s possible for you. This episode makes the case that the belief you can’t change isn’t a fact but a story that reflects the state you’re in, and shows you the proof already in front of you: other people have changed, you’ve changed before, and you’re changing now. You’ll also hear the difference between thinking you can change and actually feeling it. 👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck Or go straight to what's best for you: 👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d 📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books 🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast 👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy 😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband. ✅ Crisis resources: National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for an emergency
Stuck and broken are two very different problems, and which one you believe you are changes everything about what comes next. This is the title chapter. You’ll hear why every one of us is running on the same biological hardware no matter how different our lives look, what it means to call your trauma a stuck state rather than a defect, and why the stuck point you’re in right now is the hopeful part. You’ll also hear why the next one, after this, isn’t failure. It’s just what growth looks like. 👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck Or go straight to what's best for you: 👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d 📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books 🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast 👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy 😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband. ✅ Crisis resources: National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for an emergency
You already know what Bill does. This episode is about what's underneath it: the stories he tells himself, the things he keeps quiet, and the beliefs he never chose. You'll learn what a cognitive adaptation is, how the same mental habit sounds completely different depending on the state you're in, why humans isolate and keep secrets when animals don't, and how the beliefs handed to you can block the very pulls that would bring you toward safety. It ends with one question for you: how do you keep yourself stuck? A note before you listen: from about 5:42 to 9:52, this episode talks in general terms about abuse, perpetrators, and victim-blaming. 👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck Or go straight to what's best for you: 👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d 📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books 🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast 👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy 😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband. ✅ Crisis resources: National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for an emergency
Wild animals live with danger every day and don't get traumatized. So why do you stay stuck? In this episode, you'll meet Bill, a father, husband, and business owner who can't see what's driving him. You'll also learn the two ways we keep ourselves stuck without noticing: we ignore the body's self-regulation impulses, and we reach for behaviors that let us avoid feeling what's actually there. Part 2 picks up the stories we tell ourselves. Chapters 0:00 Why Wild Animals Don't Stay Traumatized 0:41 Meet Justin & About This Audiobook 1:43 Last Time: Co-Regulation 2:02 Why Humans Stay Stuck in Trauma 4:10 Meet Bill 5:52 Bill, All Grown Up 8:25 Ignoring Self-Regulation Impulses 10:25 The Impulses Bill Ignores 12:26 Behavioral Adaptations Keep You Stuck 14:42 Bill's Behavioral Adaptation: Overworking 15:15 Next Time: The Stories We Tell Ourselves 👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck Or go straight to what's best for you: 👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d 📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books 🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast 👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy 😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband. ✅ Crisis resources: National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for an emergency
Your nervous system doesn't just calm down on its own — more often than you realize, it borrows the calm from somebody else. This episode covers co-regulation: the specific cues your body sends and reads without you ever thinking about it, eye contact, tone of voice, the tilt of a head, what it means if you don't have a self-regulated person in every part of your life, and what actually happened, biologically, in the room with Maria before her hands ever moved. 👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck Or go straight to what's best for you: 👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d 📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books 🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast 👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy 😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband. ✅ Crisis resources: National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988 National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233 LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386 National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673 Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741 Call 911 for an emergency