269: Why Is Basic Hygiene Such a Battle With My Tween?

Your tween won't shower, won't change their clothes, or lies about having brushed their teeth or washed their face...Sound familiar?

If you're in the middle of a hygiene battle with your tween or young teen, you're not alone, and you're not failing as a parent. This is one of the most common (and confusing) challenges of early adolescence, especially when basic resistance starts to take the form of sneaking or lying.

In this episode, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack what's really driving your tween's hygiene resistance, why the lying is probably not what you think it is, and what you can actually do to move things in the right direction without constant conflict.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why tweens suddenly resist hygiene routines they never had to think about before

- How puberty and bodily autonomy are at the heart of the power struggle

- Why tweens sometimes lie about this

- What to say instead of nagging, checking, or trying to force them to change habits

- When to let it go, when to hold the line, and when to bring in outside help

- How to use habit science to make new hygiene routines actually stick

This episode will help you stop spinning in frustration and start responding in ways that protect your relationship, respect your child's growing need for independence, and actually get results.________________

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DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges. Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.

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