Episode 16: Energy Vampires in Santa Hats

Is January really the magic month for transformation and change? Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel say… not a chance. In this episode, Kristin and Frances dismantle the New Year’s Resolution myth and explain why 91% of resolutions fail, often within weeks. (Hint: your nervous system does not recognize calendar dates.) Instead of dramatic “cheeseburger-to-salads” overhauls, they make the case for something far less glamorous—but infinitely more effective: small, sustainable changes that actually stick. You’ll learn why: * Massive goals overwhelm the brain * Perfectionism quietly sabotages progress * Willpower fails when regulation is missing * Self-sabotage is often self-protection, not laziness This episode is a must-listen if you’re tired of starting over every January and ready to build real consistency, self-trust, and long-term success—especially in a body shaped by trauma, diet culture, ADHD, or past weight loss attempts.

What if the holidays don’t test your discipline at all—but instead reveal how you relate to your body, your needs, and your identity under pressure? In this episode, Kristin and Frances challenge the perfectionism trap that derails so many bariatric and GLP-1 patients during the holiday season—and offer a more sustainable, psychologically grounded way forward. Frances shares her personal experience of having bariatric surgery just before Thanksgiving nine years ago—an unplanned crash course in learning how to cope, regulate emotions, and make intentional choices from day one. (Trial by fire, for sure.) Together, Kristin and Frances unpack why tools like surgery and GLP-1 medications are powerful—but not sufficient on their own. Throughout the conversation, they return to one essential truth:Lasting results require more than a tool. They require mindset, nervous system regulation, emotional awareness, and self-leadership. You’ll hear practical, real-life strategies such as: * Using an 80/20 approach to nourishment versus enjoyment * Grounding your nervous system before entering triggering environments * Shifting from restriction-based thinking to identity-based decisions * Asking “Who am I becoming?” instead of “What shouldn’t I eat?” * Creating non-food-centered traditions that make the holidays meaningful again Kristin and Frances also explore how seasonal depression and reduced sunlight amplify stress responses, why food tracking can serve as a neutral baseline tool (even when it’s uncomfortable), and how emotional eating often reflects unmet needs—not lack of discipline. If you’re tired of white-knuckling the holidays, starting over every January, or feeling like success disappears in December, this episode offers 10 mindset shifts to help you honor your journey right now—not later. Key Takeaways * Weight loss success depends on psychological and emotional work—not just medical interventions. Surgery and GLP-1s support physiology, but they cannot override unresolved coping patterns, trauma responses, or nervous system dysregulation. * Perfectionism during the holidays backfires. Viewing slip-ups as data instead of failure prevents all-or-nothing thinking and protects long-term progress. * Sustainable health comes from focusing on how you want to feel—not what you’re restricting. Shifting away from moralizing food choices reduces shame cycles and supports consistency. Show Summary Kristin and Frances explore why the holiday season is uniquely challenging for bariatric and GLP-1 patients and how perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking often sabotage progress. Rather than treating missteps as failure, they encourage listeners to view them as information—feedback that supports growth rather than derailment. Frances shares her experience of having surgery just before Thanksgiving, which required her to develop coping strategies immediately instead of postponing change until “after the holidays.” The hosts emphasize that waiting until January often reinforces a victim mindset and disconnects people from agency during the moments that matter most. They discuss why sustainable weight loss requires more than surgery or medication alone, stressing the importance of addressing underlying psychological and emotional factors such as trauma, childhood conditioning, stress eating, food noise, attachment patterns, and identity-based behaviors. Health is framed as holistic—encompassing biology, environment, mental health, lifestyle behaviors, relationships, and spirituality. The episode highlights how seasonal depression and reduced sunlight can activate fight-or-flight responses, making regulation and self-compassion even more critical. Rather than approaching the holidays with restriction or fear, listeners are encouraged to plan for enjoyment, connection, and nervous system support. Practical strategies woven throughout the episode include: * Setting time boundaries at social events * Eating protein first to stabilize blood sugar * Hyd

What if your lowest moment became the starting point for everything that followed? In this episode, Dr. Kristin Lloyd sits down with Tosha Stafford, The Regain Coach, for an unfiltered conversation about weight regain, emotional healing, and what it actually takes to create sustainable change after weight loss surgery. Tosha shares her journey from corporate America to bariatric surgery, through regain, alcohol use, and deep emotional work — including two years of consistent therapy that changed her relationship with food, stress, and self-worth. Together, they explore why regain isn’t failure, how emotional capacity drives behavior, and why willpower alone can’t withstand life’s hardest seasons. This episode is for anyone who’s tired of starting over — and ready to build real skills for lasting self-trust. Because winning isn’t just weight loss — it’s how you show up for yourself every day. Episode 18 | Guest Introduction – Tosha Stafford For Episode 18, I’m joined by Tosha Stafford, widely known as The Regain Coach — a bariatric mentor who helps women rebuild confidence, structure, and self-trust after weight regain. Tosha didn’t set out to become a coach — she became one because she lived this journey herself. After bariatric surgery in 2013, significant weight loss, and then multiple seasons of regain during major life stress and medical complications, she learned firsthand what most people are never taught: surgery isn’t the finish line — it’s the starting point. Today, Tosha is the founder of Bari-Fit and the creator of programs like Winning Against Regain, The Success Playbook, and Back on Track, all built from the exact tools she used to lose regain and stay out of the shame-and-restart cycle. Her work is grounded in structure, mindset, and daily action — not perfection, punishment, or diet culture — and she’s known for helping women stop feeling like they “failed” their surgery and start showing up for their lives again. You can find Tosha at www.barifit.com and on social media @theregaincoach. Show Summary Dr. Kristin Lloyd welcomes Tosha Stafford, known as The Regain Coach, for a deeply honest conversation about weight regain, emotional healing, and what sustainable transformation actually requires after weight loss surgery. Tosha shares her early career in Corporate America, where constant travel, client entertainment, and long workdays slowly contributed to weight gain. At over 300 pounds, a humiliating incident at the Boise airport — where an airline employee demanded she purchase two seats — became a defining moment. Facing overwhelming shame and fear of losing her job, Tosha sought weight loss surgery not from a place of self-care, but survival. In 2013, she traveled to Tijuana for surgery. The physical changes followed quickly, supported by disciplined exercise and macro-based nutrition coaching. As her body changed, so did her confidence — and soon she was helping others navigate bariatric nutrition. But despite outward success, something deeper remained unresolved. Between 2016–2017, a “perfect storm” hit: marriage, becoming a stepmother to two teenagers, complications from cosmetic surgery, a stressful lawsuit, and a transition into self-employment. The weight returned — along with alcohol use, shame, and self-judgment. Tosha realized that despite being highly competent professionally, she lacked the emotional skill set required for this level of stress and identity transition. Instead of doubling down on dieting, Tosha committed to therapy every other week for two years, involving her husband Chris and her family in the process. During that time, she recognized her pattern of emotional eating and identified herself as a food addict — not as a moral failing, but as an adaptive response to unmet emotional needs she had never been taught to address. Together, Kristin and Tosha explore the reality that weight loss surgery removes a coping mechanism without replacing it. When food, alcohol, or control disappear

Perfectionism might look like discipline or excellence on the surface, but underneath it’s often fear, shame, and a desperate attempt to control outcomes. In this honest and refreshing conversation, Dr. Kristin Lloyd and dietitian Kristin Willard, RDN unpack how perfectionism silently sabotages progress after weight loss surgery and while using GLP-1 medications. Kristin Willard shares her own lived experience cycling between intense commitment and complete burnout — and how that same all-or-nothing pattern shows up in her clients’ nutrition, exercise, and mindset. Together, they reveal why doing it perfectly isn’t sustainable, and how chasing 100% compliance only breeds shame, inconsistency, and exhaustion. From flexible ranges to the “even though, nevertheless” mindset shift, this episode offers compassionate, practical tools to help you build sustainable habits without the guilt. Whether you’re post-op, on GLP-1s, or simply tired of white-knuckling your wellness goals, this conversation will help you breathe again — and finally make progress that lasts. Key Takeaways * Progress beats perfection. The “80% good enough” mindset stops the all-or-nothing cycles that actually sabotage long-term success. Consistency matters more than intensity. * One off-plan meal doesn’t ruin your progress — shame does. It’s not the food that derails you, it’s the guilt spiral and perfectionist thinking that follows. * Use flexible ranges, not rigid rules. Calorie, protein, and weight ranges support self-trust and freedom while keeping structure intact. * Social media highlight reels fuel comparison and unrealistic expectations. True success comes from personalization — not perfection. * Self-compassion is a skill. Learning to say, “Even though I didn’t do it perfectly, nevertheless I’m still showing up,” rewires your mindset for resilience and long-term success.

The surprising truth about why bariatric surgery and weight-loss medications seem to “stop working” might completely change how you approach your journey. Dr. Kristin Lloyd and Coach Frances Vogel dismantle the myth that bariatric tools or GLP-1s lose power over time. In reality, these tools are neutral amplifiers—mirrors of your existing behaviors, not magic wands. Just as diabetes medication requires ongoing dietary management, weight-loss tools demand continual commitment to lifestyle, mindset, and emotional health. Together, they explore how metabolic adaptation isn’t failure—it’s biology—and why genuine transformation happens when you pair medical tools with mental, emotional, and behavioral growth. You’ll learn how emotional eating, hormonal shifts, and trauma responses can hijack progress, and how self-leadership, boundaries, and consistency bring you back into alignment. This conversation goes beyond motivation—it’s a call to radical honesty, self-responsibility, and compassionate discipline. Whether you’re using surgery, medication, or mindset work, this episode helps you reclaim your power and partner with your tools instead of giving them your power.