Show Notes
Most addiction advice is built for rock bottom. Tara Hurster says that misses the vast majority of people - the high-functioning drinkers, gamblers, and users who still have jobs, houses, and families, but know something is off. If you’ve ever wondered where “just a bit too much” becomes a real problem, this conversation gives you a clearer answer than shame ever could. Paul speaks with Tara Hurster, psychologist and founder of The TARA Clinic, about the low-to-high risk continuum of addiction, the 12 DSM criteria, and why “stopping” is not the same as changing. . Her approach is practical, non-judgmental, and built around helping people make real choices with real tools - not just white-knuckle their way through. Tara breaks down how tolerance, repeated failed attempts to cut down, negative consequences, and defensiveness can all signal a deeper issue, even when life still looks functional from the outside. You’ll discover: Why addiction can be invisible in high performers and professionals How the stages of change model explains denial, preparation, action, and maintenance The “stop you swap” trap and why focusing only on abstinence creates a void Why relapse is better understood as recycling, and relapse as a lesson How identity, values, and stress management drive the behaviours people keep repeating
Time Stamps 01:15 - Risk continuum and the question of where addiction begins 02:12 - The clearest signs: tolerance, failed attempts, and consequences 03:28 - Why questioning a behavior is already a signal worth taking seriously 04:23 - Stages of change and why defensiveness matters 05:34 - Why stopping is not the same as changing 06:32 - “If you stop, you swap” and finding the driver behind the behavior 08:34 - The myth that addiction only looks like rock bottom 09:49 - Only two DSM criteria are needed over 12 months 10:54 - Tara reads the DSM style addiction criteria in plain English 13:25 - Why The Tara Clinic uses the criteria as education, not self diagnosis 14:07 - Why Tara does not align with the 12 step model 15:29 - Tara’s personal story: bullying, tallness, and smoking in year six 17:02 - Why stopping smoking can coincide with a change stage, not just willpower 18:02 - Recovery as a long term redefinition of stress and distress 19:19 - How addiction looks from the outside versus the inside 20:56 - Minimizing the problem and the brain’s self protection mechanisms 21:27 - The brain’s threat response and why stress drives habitual behavior 24:41 - Being the expert in your own life and using lifestyle as a mirror 25:33 - Hello Sunday Morning and the power of noticing hangover regret 26:25 - Tara’s non prescriptive approach: helping clients see their own choices 27:06 - Why smart people often struggle more with change 28:22 - How education works in pre-contemplation without shame 29:25 - Why shame and guilt can push people backwards 30:21 - The survival wiring behind addictive behavior 31:50 - Early stage support and why community matters 32:35 - Preparation stage and why The Tara Clinic starts there 33:22 - The danger of stopping before change has actually happened 34:16 - Dry drunk thinking and the limits of willpower 35:47 - Real change means new routines, people, and environments 36:11 - Why lapse and relapse are reframed as lesson and recycling 37:35 - Can moderation work after addiction? Tara’s non absolute answer 38:14 - Choice, agency, and not becoming another external force 39:23 - Different substances and how the method of use changes the effect 42:22 - Why ice is the hardest substance to manage socially 43:26 - Ice detox, brain recovery, and the physical versus neurological timeline 45:23 - The recurring “wobbles” in recovery from ice use 47:32 - Why early recovery for ice effectively starts after a much longer practice period 48:43 - Common drivers: pressure, stress, identity, and relief 50:16 - Why Tara avoids labels and focuses on language, thought, and identity 53:57 - Values work and why goals and
More from Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor
What if one of the most effective treatments for depression and anxiety in young people needs no prescription, has no withdrawal and makes you stronger? In this episode, Dr Paul Taylor unpacks a 2024 meta-analysis from Victoria University. It found that resistance training produced large reductions in depression and anxiety symptoms in people aged 26 and under. He then sets it against the largest analysis of its kind, a BMJ network meta-analysis of 218 trials and more than 14,000 people. In that analysis, walking, jogging, yoga and strength training matched therapy and outperformed SSRIs. In this episode: Why strength training was overlooked for decades in mental health research The training “recipe” behind the biggest effects: sets, reps, intensity and duration Why harder exercise and clear structure produced better results How few young people in Australia, the UK and the US meet activity guidelines The case for prescribing exercise before medication for young people Key studies: Marinelli et al. (2024). Resistance training and combined resistance and aerobic training as a treatment of depression and anxiety symptoms in young people. Early Intervention in Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1111/eip.13528 Noetel et al. (2024). Effect of exercise for depression: systematic review and network meta-analysis. BMJ. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2023-075847 Survey data: ABS National Nutrition and Physical Activity Survey 2023 Sport England Active Lives Children and Young People Survey 2024-25 CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey 2025 This episode is for education, not medical advice. If you or your child takes medication, talk to your doctor before making any changes. More at paultaylor.biz See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The biggest mistake in youth mental health? Treating kids like they’re broken instead of teaching them how to move, act, and build resilience. Mercedes Taaffe Cooper reveals why early intervention and education, not endless labels and talk therapy, are changing the game for young people. Paul and Mercedes unpack the deeper problem with the medical model, how normal adolescent struggles get turned into diagnoses, and why that can create more harm than help. Mercedes shares the personal journey that took her from elite boxing and coaching the Irish team to clinical psychology, reality therapy, and ultimately building Counterpunch, a program designed to help kids learn through action, not just conversation. You’ll discover: Why reality therapy and choice theory focus on doing rather than overthinking How the "front two wheels" car analogy helps kids understand thinking, feeling, and behaviour Why combat sports can be powerful tools for confidence, regulation, and self-awareness How a 24-week, three-phase program moves kids from connection to leadership Why peer mentoring is often more powerful than adult advice for adolescents Mercedes also explains how Counterpunch works in boxing gyms and youth-facing settings, why it’s especially effective for kids who feel isolated, and how the program is now scaling online so more facilitators can deliver it. From goal-setting and embodied learning to social connection and self-efficacy, this episode makes a compelling case for giving young people practical tools before problems become crises. Essential listening for parents, coaches, teachers, and anyone working with young people who wants to create real change, not just another conversation. If you care about building confidence, resilience, and lifelong skills, this one is for you. Timestamps (02:11) Mercedas Taaffe Cooper’s background in boxing, coaching, psychology, and moving to Australia (03:59) Discovering reality therapy and choice theory through research and training (05:48) Building Counterpunch from pilot program to scalable youth model (07:56) Reality therapy explained - focusing on action instead of just thinking (10:19) Why action is the real engine of change for young people (13:43) Why Mercedas rejected the medical model and built a strengths-based program (15:05) The harm of overusing labels and diagnoses with kids (18:05) The original research, the boxing component, and the first curriculum ideas (20:21) Moving from government pilot to a private program in South Australia (21:19) Taking the training online and building a replicable system (23:03) What a Counterpunch session looks like from induction to a 24-week structure (24:21) VSMART goals and linking values to physical progress (26:16) The three phases - body awareness, relationships, and leadership (27:13) Why martial arts and team sport build resilience and confidence (32:38) Why group connection and peer mentoring matter so much (34:15) Why combat sports work for youth communication and trust-building (36:31) Battle in the Hills and using boxing as a progression pathway (39:03) How embodied learning and physical challenge reinforce psychological tools (42:11) Why boxing is used as a medium, not the end goal (43:29) Why combat sports are different from professional violence (45:49) Respect, manners, and life skills learned through martial arts (47:15) Who the program is for and how youth-facing professionals can use it (49:08) How to get involved and the four Ps for potential facilitators (50:12) Final reflections on skills, not labels, for young people Quote “The biggest difference between reality therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy is that it very much focuses on the doing rather than the thinking.”
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