Show Notes
In this episode of Ask Charlotte, I'm diving into your questions about mental health. I answer: 1) What is PMDD? 2) How do I parent while struggling with my mental health? Including how to talk to kids about what's happening. 3) How do I support my partner while they're struggling with their mental health?
These are such important conversations, and I hope you’ll find something here that gives you comfort, clarity, or just the sense that you’re not alone in what you’re going through.
If you’d like to send in a question for a future episode, you’ll find the anonymous link in my Instagram bio or over at charlottecummings.nz.
More from mind you
What does a sleep expert do before bed? I sat down with Dr Sumit, ENT and sleep surgeon and co-founder of Auckland Sleep, to talk about why so many of us are exhausted and still can’t sleep. Sumit shares his own morning and evening routine, why sleep is a 24-hour cycle, and why you need time to just be before bed after a whole day of doing. We talk about what happens when sleep problems land in a relationship, the link between ADHD and sleep apnoea, melatonin for children, and why menopause can leave you lying awake just as the kids finally sleep through. Sumit also explains why so much sleep research has been based on men, and what that means for women. If you’ve decided bad sleep is just how it is for you, listen to this first. You can find Dr Sumit and his team at aucklandsleep.co.nz And, if you'd like to try Beauty Sleep, head to jeuneora.co.nz Plus, if you want to keep your own wellbeing on your to-do-list, let me help you - come and find the Mind You app at charlottecummings.nz
When one person changes, the relationship can feel like it’s suddenly playing by new rules.
What would change if you stopped dressing for other people? Deb Caldwell has built STORM on trusting her gut for 20 years, and I think her approach works just as well for your life as it does for your wardrobe. Deb is the founder and creative director of STORM, and she knows what it means to stay in your lane and trust that your people will find you. We talk about why trying to please everyone means losing what makes you different, why she doesn't believe balance exists, and what she hears women say in fitting rooms every single day. Spoiler: nobody is looking at your arms. We also get practical with your wardrobe. Deb shares her five minute declutter trick (it cleared out 22 blouses), why you should ignore the size on the label, and her number one rule: don't save anything for best. You'll see me wearing STORM on the Mind You podcast, and I love the confidence I get from these sharp, edgy, fun clothes. I hope you enjoy this conversation with Deb. Find STORM at stormonline.com Explore the Mind You app at charlottecummings.nz
Broadcaster Toni Street on public speaking nerves, confident communication, burnout and starting counselling for the first time in her life. Toni is one of New Zealand's most loved broadcasters. She's been on our screens and radios for 20 years and has hosted New Zealander of the Year for 12. And for a long time, she still broke into a cold sweat every time she had to speak. We talk about how to speak with confidence when every part of you wants to say no. Why people are judging you anyway, so you may as well put your hand up. Why waiting to feel 100% ready keeps capable people stuck while others get the opportunities. How to manufacture your own energy on camera. And why you don't need to be funny, or feel your best, to be worth listening to. Toni also opens up about her mental health. Hosting through an autoimmune condition and high doses of steroids. Losing three siblings. And this year, noticing her joy had gone flat, and seeing a counsellor who told her she was close to burnout. Everything on her plate was good. It was just too much. We get into micro moments of rest, calming an overloaded nervous system, and simple tricks for public speaking anxiety, including why wriggling your toes tells your body you're not being chased by a tiger. If you're a high-functioning woman who keeps saying no because you don't feel ready yet, this one's for you. Find Toni and her Confident Communication course at tonistreet.com or on Instagram @tonimstreet. Want to take this further? My new Mind You app has tools, courses and resources to help you put these ideas into practice. Find it at charlottecummings.nz.
Where do you get your sense of worth from? Most of us default to two answers: what we achieve, or what other people think of us. Neither holds up long term. In this episode I talk about non-contingent self-worth, the kind that doesn't move when your circumstances do. I see this come up constantly with clients, in burnout, in people-pleasing, even in addiction and infidelity. It always traces back to the same question: where does my value actually come from? Part of the answer is simple. You have value just for being human. Full stop. It has nothing to do with your achievements or what other people think of you, whatever your circumstances, whatever mistakes you've made, whatever season of life you're in. I get practical too. How to notice fawning. Why perfectionism is a shield, not a strength. How to let people see you unfinished. How to rest without earning it first. Nothing you do can make you more valuable. Nothing you do can make you less. That's the whole point. If this episode helped, I'd love you to follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with someone who needs to hear it. Come find me at charlottecummings.nz for the Mind You app, courses and resources.