Show Notes
Dear reader YW wrote in with a question: Why do we still struggle with social anxiety after all this time and effort to tame/understand/accept it? Is it possible to “overcome it once and for all”? This week, we'll talk about three different ways you can “overcome” anxiety while not beating yourself up when anxiety inevitably pops up again. The best part? There’s no additional work with any of these three methods. You’ve already been working so hard for so long, and you don’t have to do any exercises or exposures or use any tools. All three are simply different ways of conceptualizing success. Join the wise and supportive HTBGTYWYHOY community over on Substack! This week's discussion prompt: When anxiety feels discouraging, what helps you keep perspective?
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More from How to Be Good to Yourself When You're Hard on Yourself
A new client I had never met emailed me, cancelling her first session. She wrote, “I don’t think you can understand me. I don’t have low self-esteem.” Her email sent me digging into a question I’d simply never thought to ask: is social anxiety just an updated-from-the-1980s way of saying low self-esteem? In this episode, we look at why the two can overlap but are fundamentally different. If you know you're a good and competent person and still dread the party, this one’s for you.
How often have you found yourself on a Friday evening, fuzzy blanket in hand, unable to tell whether you truly are tired and should bail on your plans, or your social anxiety is just being very persuasive? This week, we tackle dear reader Jenn's question about the classic dilemma: to go or not to go? Rather than white-knuckling our way through every invitation or cancelling every time we feel a twinge of dread, we'll introduce three questions to ask that can help us decide.
Autism awareness is everywhere right now, but with that visibility comes real confusion, especially around how Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and social anxiety overlap. This week, we unpack the most important difference between the two: not what we fear, but why. We talk about how neurotypical social anxiety is driven by a gap between feared outcomes and real probability, while social anxiety tied to autism often comes from lived experience: real social friction, real consequences, real history. Then, we'll get into why standard exposure therapy can backfire for folks with ASD. If you've ever wondered whether your social anxiety is "just" anxiety or something more tied to how your brain processes social communication, this one's for you.
After a whirlwind week of birthday celebrations, houseguests, and a 60-person party, Ellen found herself ignoring three friends-of-friends at a concert, and is having a hard time shaking the guilt. In this episode, we dig into the research on social exhaustion, uncovering why everyone, not just introverts, gets tired after socializing. Drawing on studies both classic and new, we explore the hidden cost of self-regulation and land on a mix of change (next time, just say we're running on empty) and acceptance (some social burnout is simply the price of showing up fully for the people we love).
Is it anxiety, ADHD, or both? In this week's audio newsletter, we explore why these two conditions can feel similar, the surprising ways they overlap, and the big differences that can help us better understand what's driving our struggles with focus, procrastination, racing thoughts, restlessness, and overwhelm. We also discuss how genetics, modern life, uncertainty, and even excessive screen use may shape our symptoms. Most importantly, we'll learn why finding the "right" label matters less than developing coping that works and treating yourself with a little grace. *As always, all HIPAA identifiers and story details have been changed or combined while keeping the essence intact. My goal is to honor the confidentiality of therapy while sharing relatable, based-on-a-true-story examples.