Motherhood, Drinking and Getting Off the Merry-Go-Round - with Victoria Vanstone

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 146

Why does asking for help feel so impossible, especially when you're a mum, and everyone else seems to be coping just fine? In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Vic Vanstone, author and host of Sober Awkward to talk honestly about early motherhood, the loss of self, and the drinking that came along for the ride.

Vic shares how she went from backpacking party girl to new mum in Australia, and why alcohol became her way of finding "the old me" again. Anna reflects on swapping a career built on planning and control, for the chaos of a newborn, and the performance of being the perfectly put-together mum. Together they explore why the people closest to us are often the hardest to tell, the shame that keeps us stuck, and the moments that finally made them reach out.

Highlights: 00:00 Intro: Surprised by how hard motherhood really is 00:57 Meet Vic Vanstone, host of Sober Awkward and author 03:26 The shock of trying to merge a “party self” with new mum life 07:50 Using alcohol to reclaim the “old me” 13:22 The pressure to perform motherhood for others 17:10 Alcohol as the only tool for managing big emotions 22:26 The shame and stigma that make it hard to ask for help 28:30 How rock-bottom moments with partners force a rethink 34:36 The power of saying, “I think I have a problem with alcohol” 36:33 The “merry-go-round” therapy epiphany: you get to step off 42:09 Anna's route in: This Naked Mind and getting curious 43:07 Why reaching out for help doesn’t have to be dramatic 47:31 “Find your people” - how to keep seeking support until it fits 48:38 Breaking the booze cycle for the next generation

Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy! Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/ For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/ If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna: Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna: Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Victoria Vanstone: Victoria Vanstone is a British-born, Sunshine Coast-based writer and podcast host. She got sober after hitting a low point on her bathroom floor and started writing about it on her blog, Drunk Mummy Sober Mummy - honest, funny, and unsparing about motherhood, anxiety, and life after booze. That voice led her to co-create Sober Awkward, now with over 7 million downloads and named "culture-changing" by The Guardian UK. She's the author of A Thousand Wasted Sundays (runner-up, 2024 Australian Independent Book Awards) and Mumming: A Year of Trying, and Failing, to be a Better Parent, a memoir on the impossible standards of modern motherhood. Victoria lives on the Sunshine Coast with her husband and three children, and speaks and writes wherever honesty, failure, and a good laugh are welcome. Mentioned in this episode: Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bitterswee