2. The secret to raising kids with strong values - The Family Code

What if one simple word could help you stop solving every problem for your kids, while teaching them to become more independent? The Power of Sure is a simple parenting tool that takes the pressure off Dads to have an immediate answer to every request. By replacing a yes or no with “sure”, parents can encourage their kids to take responsibility, solve problems and become more comfortable with uncertainty. To share this, we are joined by Associate Professor Gabriel Dabscheck, a paediatric neurologist in Melbourne Australia. Gaby is a father to three, happily married to an amazing woman, and a very amateur basketball coach. He shares how he uses this approach with his own children, why it can help build resilience and independence, and the situations where kids need clear answers and boundaries instead. In this episode, Gaby shares: Why “sure” can be more useful than yes or no. How uncertainty can help kids build independence. The power of putting the responsibility back on your kids When uncertainty can become overwhelming. The process of moving from fixing problems to coaching your kids. Why kids need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. When to use “sure” and when kids need clear answers and boundaries. How “sure” can take some pressure off parents.

As Dads, when we see our teens or kids struggling, our first instinct is often to jump in and fix things. We want to help, share what we've learned and save them from making mistakes. But what if our attempts to help are actually getting in the way? The good news is that sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stop giving answers and start asking better questions. Psychologist, psychotherapist, parenting educator and author of Parenting for a Peaceful World and Heart-to-Heart Parenting, Robin Grille, shares a simple but powerful tool called Ask a Better Question, designed to help Dads move away from being Mr Fix It and towards raising confident, independent kids who feel heard, supported and capable of figuring things out for themselves. In this episode, Robin shares: Why jumping in to fix our teens and kids' problems can do more harm than good. How asking better questions helps teens and kids build confidence and independence. What makes a good question and why curiosity matters How to approach tricky conversations about gaming, school and motivation. When asking questions isn't the right approach. Why kids don't need a perfect Dad, just one who's willing to learn.

Most Dads have had that moment where they’ve reacted to their kids, walked away and thought, “I didn’t handle that well.” The hard part is finding a way to interrupt that reaction while it’s actually happening. The Resilient Reframe is a simple tool designed to create some space between what’s happening around you and how you respond, helping you step out of the emotion of the moment and make a more considered choice. Teaching us the tool is Rob Marston, a mental fitness advocate, Certified Resilience Coach, Mental Health First Aid Instructor and Resilience First Aid Instructor who works with individuals, workplaces and communities to build greater resilience and mental fitness. He’s also deeply involved in men’s mental health, including founding the Inner West chapter of When No One Is Watching.

We all want to protect our kids from struggle, disappointment and stress. But what if constantly stepping in to make life easier is actually getting in the way of something they need? Today’s tool is “Stress Your Kids Out” and is about deliberately giving our kids small, manageable doses of stress, challenge and adversity so they have the opportunity to adapt, problem-solve and build resilience. Teaching us how to use it is Tim Curtis, author of Building Resilient Kids and co-author of the bestseller The Resilience Shield. Tim spent much of his professional life exploring: what makes some people better able to cope, adapt and grow when life gets difficult? A former SAS officer, Tim draws on 16 years of military service, an MBA, decades of leadership and resilience work, and, importantly, his own experience as a father. He is here to show us our job is not to remove every stressor, failure or disappointment from our children's lives, but to help them develop the skills and confidence to navigate them. In this episode, Tim shares: Why resilience isn’t about avoiding stress, but learning how to respond to it. Why letting our kids experience stress and adversity is essential for their well being and development. The difference between harmful stress and the moderate stress our kids can actually benefit from. How to know when to step in and support our kids, and when to stand back and let them struggle a bit. Why fixing every problem for our kids can rob them of the chance to find their own solution. Simple ways to “dose the discomfort” through everyday things like ordering at restaurants, carrying school bags, chores and losing games. The questions we can ask instead of immediately jumping in with advice. How Rose, Bud, Thorn can help kids reflect on their day and work through the things they’re struggling with. Why praising effort rather than results can help our kids develop a growth mindset. The importance of letting our kids experience the consequences of their choices. Why building resilience is less about big parenting interventions and more about consistently getting the basics right. How the way we respond to our own stress teaches our kids how to respond to theirs.

What do you do when your child is completely losing it? You can feel yourself getting frustrated and every instinct is telling you to either give in or put your foot down…