Show Notes
Toxic trainers. It's the conversation flooding our DMs and the Adult Amateur Lounge — and this week we finally sat down and got into all of it. We start where it usually starts: the line between business and friendship, and how completely this sport blurs it. Your trainer is your coach, your confidant, and the person you write a very large check to every month — so what happens when your feelings get involved, your horse gets involved, and you don't agree? We talk about why communication (early, honest, uncomfortable communication) fixes about 90% of it, and why trainers are stuck in an impossible spot: speak your truth, protect your client, and protect your business, all at the same time. Then we get into the barn ecosystem — the teacher's-pet dynamic, everyone competing to be the favorite, and what happens when a trainer talks negatively about a client. Because your other clients are watching, and they will follow your lead. That's how the outcast thing starts. And if your trainer is saying it about her, she's saying it about you. We also flip it, because this episode is not one-sided. Clients can absolutely be the toxic ones. Sometimes "my trainer is toxic" actually means "my trainer won't let me jump the three foot" — and a trainer telling you no is often a trainer protecting you, your horse, and her own reputation. We're both honest about being against barn hopping: the first hop might be a toxic trainer, but by the fifth barn, it might be you. Your horse suffers, your riding suffers, your reputation suffers. And we get into the gray area we both actually live in: the amateur who has researched every single thing about her horse's nutrition and has to figure out how to say that to a professional who's been doing this for thirty years. Plus the honest trade-off nobody wants to hear — if you can't keep your horses at home and manage them yourself, you can't expect to check every single box at a boarding barn. Our gut check for when it's time to go: if you get a pit in your stomach pulling into the barn, if you're anxious every single time, it's not worth it. That doesn't make your trainer bad. It doesn't make you bad. It just isn't the right fit — so leave respectfully, and do not burn the bridge. Kids happen. Divorce happens. Life happens. That barn could be exactly right for you again in five years. Have you been in a toxic barn situation? We want to hear it. 👇 00:00 — Welcome back (and Kelly's very triggering breeches) 00:26 — Today's lineup: toxic trainers, loyalty, barn hopping 02:12 — What "toxic" actually looks like — and why it's so situational 03:39 — When you get too close to your trainer 06:14 — Communication fixes almost everything 07:07 — The trainer's impossible position 08:35 — When you and your trainer flat-out disagree 10:42 — Teacher's pets, barn gossip and the outcast effect 14:31 — Trainers hold real power (at every level) 15:12 — Leading by example: the barn that got it right 16:52 — Talking about clients behind their backs 19:39 — "It depends on the offense" 23:08 — All any amateur wants is to be treated equally 24:01 — Why we're both against barn hopping 25:12 — When your trainer says no — and she's right 27:15 — When the client is the toxic one 28:19 — The feed debate and the honest gray area 31:25 — Horses at home vs. horses at a barn 33:14 — The gut check: when it's time to go 34:38 — Leave on good terms. Don't burn the bridge. 36:01 — Send us your stories 🎧 New episodes weekly. Subscribe and hit the bell so you never miss one.💬 Drop a comment: have you left a toxic barn situation? What was your final straw?👍 Like & share if this one hit a little too close to home. #TheEquestrianAdultAmateur #EquestrianPodcast #ToxicTrainer #BarnLife #AdultAmateur #HunterJumper #HorseGirl #EquestrianLife #BarnDrama #HorseTrainer #ShowJumping #HorseWorld Chapters
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Is the equestrian industry finally entering its content creator era? And can equestrian influencers actually make a living creating content? In this episode of The Equestrian Adult Amateur Podcast, I'm sitting down with Kaylee, founder of The Edit Society and creator behind The Edit Mama, to talk about the growing world of equestrian content creation, influencer marketing, brand partnerships, and the changing landscape of social media in the horse industry. Kaylee shares her journey from working in western fashion and marketing to building her personal brand in the equestrian space. We dive into why smaller creators are becoming increasingly valuable to brands, whether the equestrian industry can financially support a creator economy, and why building a community is so much more important than simply chasing followers and sponsorship deals. We also discuss the pressure to create perfectly curated content, the importance of sharing everyday life with horses, and why you don't have to compete at Wellington or own a six-figure horse to have a story worth telling. As someone who works in equestrian media and marketing, I loved having this conversation because I truly believe the future of our sport depends on the people willing to share their experiences, build connections, and create opportunities beyond the traditional horse show world. Whether you're an adult amateur, equestrian content creator, horse business owner, or someone looking to grow a personal brand, this conversation is for you. Follow Kaylee on Instagram and TikTok at The Edit Mama and find her business, The Edit Society, on Instagram. Subscribe to The Equestrian Adult Amateur Podcast for more conversations about horses, the equestrian industry, adult amateur life, and everything happening beyond the show ring.
There are moments in your equestrian journey that make every setback, every frustrating ride, and every ounce of hard work worth it. This weekend was one of those moments for me and Ollie. In this episode, I'm sitting down for a very emotional recap of our first horse show competing together in the 2'6" hunters. After months of training, rebuilding confidence, navigating the ups and downs of owning a young horse, and wondering if we would ever get to this point, we finally made it into the ring together. I'm sharing everything from the nerves in the schooling ring to the moment I walked into the show ring and realized just how far we've come. I also talk about the incredible role my trainer, Hannah, has played in Ollie's development, what this experience taught me about trusting my horse, and why having the right people in your corner makes all the difference. If you've ever struggled with confidence in the saddle, questioned your progress as an adult amateur, or experienced the emotional roller coaster of bringing along a young horse, I hope this episode reminds you that progress isn't always linear. Sometimes the biggest victories in equestrian sport have nothing to do with ribbons. Sometimes it's simply realizing that you and your horse have finally become a team. Thank you for following Ollie and me on this journey. This weekend meant more to me than I can put into words. #EquestrianAdultAmateur #HorseShowing #HunterJumper #AdultAmateurEquestrian #EquestrianPodcast #HorseRiding #YoungHorse
Have you ever looked at your horse and genuinely thought… why am I doing this to myself? In this episode of The Equestrian Adult Amateur Podcast, Alexis and I are getting into one of those phases of horse ownership that every equestrian eventually seems to hit—the point where everything feels hard enough that you start questioning whether horses should even be in your life anymore. Between lameness, injuries, behavioral issues, vet bills, setbacks, young horses, and the general emotional chaos that comes with owning horses, sometimes the thing we love most can also be the thing that completely pushes us over the edge. We talk about the moments that have made us question the sport, the horses that have tested us, and why we somehow keep coming back even after swearing we’re going to quit and take up tennis instead. It’s our October spooky episode, but forget ghosts—the truly terrifying thing might just be owning horses. If you’re an adult amateur who has ever sat in your car after the barn wondering why you chose this life, this episode is for you. The Equestrian Adult Amateur Podcast is all about the real side of being an adult amateur equestrian—from horse ownership and horse showing to trainers, money, confidence, setbacks, and everything that happens outside the ring. JOIN PRO-AM : Our free community
Kelly and Alexis take the podcast into the ring, swap horses, and let trainer Hannah Stone pick them apart for 45 minutes.Alexis gets on Ollie, a horse nobody but Kelly and Hannah has ever jumped. Kelly rides Sunny. What follows is an honest, unedited adult amateur lesson: flatwork, a course, a missed lead change, one spectacular spook, and the conversation afterward about what actually went wrong and why.If you have ever come out of a lesson thinking you ruined everything, watch the debrief at the end. The ride you remember and the ride on video are almost never the same one.Featuring Hannah Stone of Stone Performance HorsesFollow along:Instagram: @eaapodNewsletter: www.kbmediaequine.comHeads up: this one is real barn talk and the language is unfiltered in a few spots.Chapters0:00 Taking the podcast into the ring1:00 Warm up and first corrections from Hannah5:50 Canter work and getting Ollie in front of the leg9:12 Why asking once beats nagging every stride11:10 First jumps15:59 Putting a course together18:24 Ride to the jump or wait for it25:51 The turn to the oxer that keeps falling apart30:19 Turn at the bow33:50 The spook36:40 Going back and doing it again38:58 Lead changes and staying in the middle of the tack46:37 So how did the lesson go?48:39 Kelly's honest take
If we could go back and give our younger adult-amateur selves some advice… what would we say? This week on the Equestrian Adult Amateur Podcast, we’re talking directly to the younger amateurs — inspired by a conversation with our very own Emmy, who came to us with an opportunity to get a horse and one very important question: Should I do it? Naturally, we had thoughts. 😂 Because between the two of us, we’ve made the impulse horse purchases, spent money we probably should have saved, bought young horses we absolutely did not need, navigated different trainers and programs, and learned plenty of lessons the expensive way. Sequence 18 So this episode becomes the conversation we wish someone had sat us down and had when we were younger: What can you actually afford? Are you thinking about the purchase price or the real cost of owning the horse? Is this horse right for the rider you are today? What happens when your goals, career, finances, or life change? And sometimes, is the smartest horse decision simply… not buying the horse? We also look back at our own early amateur years — the choices we made, the advice we ignored, the things that somehow worked out, and the things we’d probably do very differently now. This isn’t about telling younger riders not to chase the dream. It’s about everything we’ve learned while chasing ours. As always, expect plenty of tangents, laughs, questionable financial decisions, horse stories, and two adult amateurs realizing that apparently we’re now old enough to give advice. 😂🐴 If you could go back and give your younger equestrian self ONE piece of advice, what would it be?