Confusion and Curiosity | Chapter 4 of "Atlas of the Heart"

What happens when an Enneagram Eight loses control? And what does it look like when their strength gives way to tenderness? In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff sits down with three Enneagram Eights—Kyle, Deena, and Grace—to explore their experiences of stress and security, particularly their movement toward Five and Two. Together, they discuss the Eight's relationship with anger, anxiety, vulnerability, and the often-overlooked emotional life beneath their powerful exterior. The conversation explores the difference between gut intuition and emotional connection, why Eights often express love through action, and how fear can quickly become anger when their sense of agency is threatened. Along the way, the panel considers how instinctual differences shape their experiences and how growth can open the door to generosity, service, and tenderness. What happens when an Eight discovers that strength isn't always about being in control?

Join us on Tuesdays : HERE In this episode of the Reading Room, Jeff begins exploring the nine Enneagram types through Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love and Work. Moving through the first pages of each type's chapter, Jeff examines four central themes: worldview, spiritual path, concerns, and personality bias. What does each type believe about the world, where does its attention go, and what does meaningful growth require? This time, Jeff highlights Palmer's most compelling insights while pushing back on her assumptions about childhood wounds, the origins of personality, and the relationship between our motivations and behaviors. Along the way, he considers the difference between describing a type's struggles and identifying the work that might actually lead to growth. Type Two: Becoming indispensable to others, the subtle manipulation of relationships, and learning to recognize personal needs and worth apart from being needed. Type Three: Confusing performance with identity, losing touch with genuine emotions, and learning to distinguish the authentic self from the image presented to others. Type Four: The push-pull of longing and rejection, the emotional focus on love and loss, and learning to find satisfaction in what is already present. Type Five: The desire for privacy and independence, mistaking emotional detachment for spiritual maturity, and discovering the importance of participating in life rather than merely observing it. Type Six: The complicated relationship with authority, forgetting past successes, and developing genuine faith rather than settling for the security of rules and protective structures. Type Seven: Finding joy in possibilities and plans, replacing painful feelings with positive alternatives, and learning to stay present rather than moving on. Type Eight: Confusing subjective convictions with objective truth, using power to establish control, and learning to question personal assumptions while genuinely considering other perspectives. Type Nine: The comfort of neutrality, the enormous energy spent avoiding what matters most, and learning to direct attention toward personal priorities and meaningful action. Type One: The severe inner critic, the tendency to turn self-criticism outward, and the difficult but essential work of distinguishing what we want from what we believe is right.

What happens when Enneagram Nines begin taking up space in their own life? In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff sits down with five Enneagram Nines—Sara, Theresa, Sue, Lynsie, and Andrew—to explore their relationships with their body, head, and heart.

Join us on Tuesdays : HERE ____________ What if the greatest obstacle to becoming who we want to be is settling for something less than what we truly desire? In this episode of the Reading Room, Jeff continues his study of Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work, exploring the relationship between our deepest fears, what we avoid, and the passions traditionally associated with each Enneagram type. What if the seven deadly sins are not the source of our struggles, but the fruit of something deeper? This time, Jeff introduces the idea of idols—the lesser substitutes we settle for when our fears shape our choices. Ones settle for being right instead of being good. Twos pursue appreciation instead of genuine love. Threes chase image instead of excellence. Across all nine types, these false substitutes promise satisfaction but ultimately leave us wanting more. How can recognizing what we settle for help us understand our shadow, confront our fears, and recover the things we genuinely desire? ______ Join the Reading Room! We're studying Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love and Work together every Tuesday evening. Join us for thoughtful conversations about the Enneagram and the things that matter most. Sign up : HERE #Enneagram #HelenPalmer #AroundTheCircle #EnneagramTypes #PersonalGrowth

In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff welcomes Sherry Danner, former marriage and family therapist, boundaries coach, and Enneagram Five, for a conversation about boundaries as the art of relationship. Rather than simply protecting our peace or learning to say no, they explore how boundaries shape our identity, commitments, and ability to connect with others. This time, Jeff and Sherry discuss the difference between hurt and harm, the challenge of being clear, kind, direct, and honest, and how our familiar strategies for avoiding discomfort can eventually work against us. Lastly, they explore the role of the head, heart, and body centers in navigating relationships, including our desires for clarity, connection, and agency. When does protecting ourselves become a form of isolation? And what might it look like to establish boundaries that make deeper relationships possible?