Universal Lessons from Grief: Ashlee Boyson, Author of One Day - A Child’s Journey Through Grief and Loss
The Virtual CouchShow Notes
When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT, explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor, but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One Day: A Child's Journey Through Grief and Loss," illustrated by her daughter Bostyn, takes a revolutionary approach by deliberately omitting facial expressions and colors—creating space for authentic emotions rather than prescribing how one "should" feel when grieving.
Beyond the book, Tony and Ashlee dive into the messy truth of grief—how contradictory emotions can coexist, why well-intentioned comfort often invalidates emotional reality, and practical strategies for creating genuine healing. With moments of unexpected laughter amidst profound wisdom, they explore how Ashlee's journey led her to develop courses on infidelity and widowhood, practice foot zoning, and most importantly, help parents understand that there's no "right way" to grieve. Whether you're personally experiencing loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers a masterclass in compassionate presence and emotional intelligence that transcends age, making it essential listening for anyone seeking to process grief authentically.
00:00 Introduction and Announcements
01:35 Introducing Ashley Boyson
02:10 Ashley's Incredible Story
03:27 Ashley's Journey Through Grief
03:54 Discussing Ashley's New Book
12:04 The Healing Power of Foot Zoning
17:40 The Importance of Emotional Awareness
26:35 Addressing Children's Emotional Pain
27:06 Recognizing and Validating Emotions
27:45 Personal Experiences with Suppressed Emotions
28:52 Navigating Grief and Loss
30:33 Complex Emotions and Healing
31:30 The Importance of Open Communication
32:25 Balancing Past and Future Fears
34:11 Encouraging Emotional Expression in Children
35:51 Handling Grief Triggers
43:45 The Role of Truth in Healing
46:21 Final Thoughts and Resources
More from The Virtual Couch
Using AI as a therapist? Your chatbot might be building a great plan for the person you’re hoping to become.
Tony starts with a kid raised in an East Coast fishing town and another raised hiking Arizona trails. He uses them to show how beliefs tend to form through family, community, and identity, with the reasons showing up later. Then he brings the same lens to politics from a neutral place. He looks at how a trusted "Uncle Mike" can shape which questions feel worth asking, and why changing your mind can get psychologically expensive when your people are on the line. Along the way he makes the case that changing your mind can be a sign your mind is working.
Most couples sign an unwritten contract about sex and intimacy, and the terms rarely get said out loud.
Was it narcissistic abuse, or were you the problem? Why does the fog lift after a divorce, and you still can't trust your own judgment?
When someone you love tells you, “Something you did hurt me,” what happens inside of you next? Do you become curious about what it was like to be on the receiving end of you, or does your brain immediately start building the case for why you did what you did, what you meant, what they misunderstood, and what they did first?