Show Notes
You know that visual of an iceberg that often gets used to describe things being 'under the surface'? It's a way to demonstrate what is seen compared to the monstrosity of what is not seen about a situation.
On this week's podcast/YouTube channel, I'm jumping into chores and hygiene. Talk about an iceberg graphic!
On the surface, it probably seems like kids refuse to do chores or hygiene tasks 'just because'. In reality, there can be SO MANY reasons for these things to be difficult for our kiddos, many of which we may not have ever recognized.
In this episode I'm breaking down multiple reasons why these tasks can be so heavily avoided, why they can just be inadvertently overlooked, and lots of strategies to make them easier and more likely to be done!
Here's a clip from the episode:
A lot of our kiddos really don't have a concept that the way they look and smell affects their reputation. They just don't have that concept. And so for a lot of people, we do hygiene because we don't want to smell, we don't want to look dirty, right? It has to do with how other people perceive us. And our kids just don't always have that concept. Hygiene is very much a social construct. Even though it sounds weird to think about it that way. We... a lot of the hygiene activities we do are because of our thoughts about how other people think about us. And so when so many of our kids don't have that concept, hygiene becomes just this thing they're supposed to do that they don't really want to do it. So that's another... just know that if your kids are resistant to doing hygiene stuff, or it's just not even on their mind, that's why. It's actually a social construct. And it requires that we think about other people. And a lot of our kids are just really challenged in that area.
More from Social Skills is Canceled
Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who struggled with thinking about others during conversations. Sometimes they would say things that hurt other people's feelings or were perceived as rude or disrespectful, or even things that other people didn't really want to talk about or hear about. Sometimes these students would stop listening when people talked about things that they didn't care about. Sometimes they would even tell people they weren't interested in what the group or the person was talking about. I created the lesson I'm sharing today for all of these students. In this lesson, our students learn what a social filter is, how it's different than lying, and when and why using a social fake is a good idea. We also practice taking some of our common complaints that we might have and turning them into problem-solving opportunities.
Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who didn't know how to initiate a social conversation with someone that they knew. Some students weren't able to think of something that the person they were talking to liked or liked to talk about, so they ended up using generic conversation starters like, "Hey, what's up?" Or, "How's it going?" Some students were able to think of things they knew about the other person, but they didn't know how to use that information to start a conversation, so they didn't say anything. I created the lesson I'm sharing this week for all of these students. In this lesson, students learn the difference between an informational and a social conversation, and how to initiate a conversation with someone they know based on things they know about them.
Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who didn’t recognize that there were some things that should be ‘alone behaviors’, or things we do whenwe are by ourselves. Some students had developed habits around ‘picking’, likepicking their nose, picking their skin, and/or picking at their pants or underwear. Other students didn’t realize that most people don’t want tohear someone burp or fart, so they didn’t know how to respond when they did it accidentally, OR they didn’t put any effort into trying to not do these things in front of others. And then there were students who often complained to others, even about situations and experiences that those around them were also going through at the same time.
Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious kids and teens who struggled with staying on topic during a conversation. Some of the kids in this group continued talking about something, even when it was clear to everyone else that no one was interested in continuing to talk about that topic. Some students changed the topic every time they asked a question, unaware that others in the group had a hard time keeping up with all the changes and randomness, and that it really wasn't a conversation, it was more like an interview. And some of the kids had a hard time recognizing when others changed the topic, so they continued making comments about topics that the group had moved on from. There were also students in this group who got frustrated when the topic changed, because they still wanted to keep talking about that topic, and so they weren't able to change and shift with the group when the topic changed, as it always does. I created the lesson I'm sharing this week for all of these students. In this lesson, students learn how and when to change the topic appropriately, why they or others may choose to change the topic, and how to handle topic changes that they weren't wanting or expecting.
Once upon a time, there were autistic, ADHD, and anxious students who didn't know that there are stages or levels between strangers and friends. Sometimes these students treat people they kind of knew like they were strangers, not acknowledging them when they saw them. Sometimes they didn't know how to engage in small talk with people they kind of knew, so interactions were pretty awkward. And some students thought everyone they knew was their friend, which meant they were often too friendly or too personal with people they only kind of knew. And the reality is that most people in our lives are people we only kind of know. I created the lesson I'm sharing on this week's podcast for all of these students. In this lesson, I teach students that an acquaintance is someone we recognize from somewhere or something. We usually know their name, but not always. This can include students in our class or our group, neighbors, teachers, and friends of our parents. We also talk about what the social expectations are when we are around acquaintances, like small talk and introductions to other people.