Raising Men

From Reactive to Radical: The Journey to Intentional Fatherhood with Jon Hord

Raising Men

Show Notes

Jon Hord is the founder of the Engaged Father Project. A former high-achieving corporate VP who walked away from a 100-year-old family company after a health-induced epiphany, Jon now coaches dads to move from "reactive survival" to "radical intentionality." 5 Key Takeaways: The "Provider Trap": Connecting your value solely to your income. The "Deathbed Scenario" as a tool for major life decisions. Responding vs. Reacting: How to handle high-stress "Playbook 2" moments. Measuring backwards: Focusing on the "Gain" rather than the "Gap." The "Peace Frog": A practical tool for family feedback and emotional regulation.

"If you ask them, 'Hey kids... what would you rather have? A more expensive vacation, or I’m around more?'... [they'd say around more]."

"It is so hard for us as human beings to be aware of what’s actually going on in those moments for ourselves, because we’re just reacting."

"For there to be an old dad, it means there has to be a new dad. And in that is my progress."

00:00 — Excellence Is Making Smaller Corrections 00:36 — Steering the Car, Not Letting It Drift 01:25 — Welcome Back to Raising Men 01:40 — When Providing Becomes a Trap 02:28 — High Achievement at the Cost of Family 03:05 — The Family Pays the Price 03:58 — What Kids Really Want From Dad 04:46 — The Collapse of Old Institutions 05:33 — Work From Home or Work Takes Over 06:15 — The Slippery Slope of Overwork 07:04 — Ego, Status, and Success 08:01 — When the Perks Disappear 08:38 — Choosing Presence Over Prestige 09:10 — Panic Attacks as a Wake-Up Call 10:02 — Searching for Help in Crisis 10:27 — Discovering the Sedona Method 11:01 — Gaining Awareness of Inner Mechanics 12:01 — From Survival Mode to Choice 13:10 — Questioning the Path You’re On 14:31 — Taking Time Away to Decide 15:09 — The Deathbed Test 16:16 — Choosing the Uncertain Path 16:54 — A Partner Who Already Knew 17:44 — Becoming a Life Coach 18:10 — The Birth of the Engaged Father Project 19:04 — You Can Engineer Your Life 20:18 — The Power of Supportive People 21:22 — Having the Right Partner Matters 21:57 — What the Engaged Father Project Is 22:45 — Parenting Is Taught Through Action 23:07 — Two Playbooks for Life 24:00 — Stress Reveals Who You Really Are 24:41 — Defining the Dad You Want to Be 25:33 — Why “Good Dad” Isn’t Good Enough 26:36 — Choosing to Be an Incredible Dad 27:18 — Turning Feedback Into Growth 28:38 — Letting Kids Hold You Accountable 29:59 — Empowering Kids to Speak Up 31:04 — Defining the Standard 32:24 — Measurement Creates Change 33:17 — Knowing If You’re Doing It Right 34:12 — Asking Kids for Honest Feedback 35:17 — Measuring Progress Backwards 36:23 — When Kids Notice the New You 37:26 — Excellence Requires Constant Correction 38:00 — Lessons From the Blue Angels 39:15 — Small Corrections Beat Big Swings 40:12 — Responding Instead of Reacting 41:03 — Building a Community for Dads 41:59 — The 30-Day Light Your Fire Challenge 43:03 — Listening Creates Deeper Connection 44:14 — Learning From Other Dads’ Experiments 45:00 — Why the Community Is Free 46:09 — One Principle of Excellent Fatherhood 46:41 — Vulnerability as Strength 48:04 — Authenticity Builds Real Connection 49:26 — There Is No Connection Without Vulnerability 50:22 — Masculinity and the Connection Gap 51:01 — Why Human Connection Will Matter More 52:02 — Final Reflections on Intentional Fatherhood 53:06 — Closing Thoughts and Credits

Books & Tools: The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy (mentioned) – https://becomingminimalist.com/the-gap-and-the-gain/ The Sedona Method (mentioned) – https://www.sedona.com/ Super Communicators by Charles Duhigg (mentioned) – https://www.charlesduhigg.com/supercommunicators Guest Links: Engaged Father School Community: https://www.skool.com/engaged-father-project/about Website: https://www.engagedfatherproject.com/

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