
Show Notes
Why do so many gay men struggle with deep fears of rejection—whether in dating, friendships, or even at work? In this episode, we’re unpacking rejection sensitivity: where it comes from, how it shows up in everyday life, and why it can feel so intense for us.
Some of the topics we cover:
The early roots of rejection sensitivity (hint: it starts young)
How social norms, internalized homophobia, and shame wire us for hypervigilance
The impact of dating app culture and body-focused rejection
Signs you might be stuck in a rejection sensitivity loop
Practical ways to heal and build resilience
If you’ve ever felt crushed by criticism, avoided risks to protect yourself, or wrestled with feelings of “never enough,” this one’s for you.
Related Episodes:
Rejection
Fear of Rejection
Today's Hosts:
Michael DiIorio
Matt Landsiedel
Reno Johnston
Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes
- CONNECT WITH US -
Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
- LEARN WITH US -
Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
More from Gay Men Going Deeper
Growing up gay shapes you. Even if you had a relatively good experience, many of us learned to hide parts of ourselves, seek approval, stay guarded, or adapt in order to feel safe, accepted, or lovable. Over time, those survival strategies can quietly shape our relationships, confidence, intimacy, and sense of self.
Growing up different can leave a lasting impact on how we see ourselves, our relationships, and our sense of belonging. Even years later, many gay men still carry the feeling of being on the outside looking in—surrounded by people, yet not truly known.
Apps are a huge part of modern gay life. We delete them, reinstall them, swear them off, go back on, and keep trying to figure out whether they’re helping us connect or quietly getting in the way.
Why do the guys who are a little distant, a little edgy, and a little hard to get feel so magnetic? Is it actually attraction…or is a deeper pattern being activated? In this episode, we unpack what’s going on underneath the pull toward “bad boys” and why it can feel so intense, compelling, and hard to walk away from. We talk about:
Intimacy sounds like something we all want, but being truly seen can feel terrifying.