EP.23 Singleness, Sexuality, and the Desire to Be Known with Dr. Carol Tanksley
Dating and Desire PodcastShow Notes
Dr. Carol Tanksley, a physician and minister, brings a rare blend of medical wisdom, theological depth, and lived experience to the conversation around singleness and sexuality. Having lived through long-term singleness, a cherished marriage, widowhood, and singleness again, she speaks with honesty about desire, intimacy, the body, and what healthy sexual formation actually takes.
One of the deeper tensions she names is the way many singles have been given information about what not to do, but very little formation around what to do with longing, touch, sexual desire, and the need to be known. Dr. Carol invites a more embodied understanding of discipleship, one that does not reduce desire to sin or collapse intimacy into sexual activity, but honors the emotional reality beneath the ache.
Her teaching moves toward a more connected vision of integrity, wholeness, and life in the light. Rather than relying on fear, rigid rules, or surface-level accountability, she points to the kind of formation that happens when desire is brought to Jesus, trusted community, and wise discernment. This is not about hiding the heart behind walls, but learning how to steward longing with honesty, maturity, and love.
For anyone dating, healing, or navigating singleness, this conversation offers a slower and more trustworthy way. What to pay attention to… is what comes alive in you around another person, where your longing is asking for care, and whether that desire can be held with peace, connection, and trust. Healthy love begins with discernment, clarity, and self-trust.
Watch this episode on YouTube
Connect with Dr. Carol Tanksley Website YouTube Instagram Facebook In-person Intensives Her book, Sexpectations If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need:
🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → RECLAIM Cohort 📓 Free Guides and Ecourse → Instagram → Website
💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren → Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset→ Book a Dating Clarity Call We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing → Instagram → Website
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