
Show Notes
Men are more lonely, more disconnected, and more unsure of who they’re supposed to be than we’ve seen in generations. And while the data is alarming, what often gets lost is how this is actually showing up in real life: on dates, in relationships, and in the expectations men and women are navigating every day. In this episode, Danielle speaks with Dr. Gary Barker, a leading global researcher on men and masculinity, to unpack what’s actually going on. From the cultural forces shaping modern manhood, to how it’s showing up in dating and relationships. Plus, the surprising TV show Gary points to as a model of healthy masculinity. Gary also unpacks: Why modern masculinity feels more confusing than ever The loneliness epidemic among men, and why it’s getting worse Why so many men feel blamed for systems like patriarchy and the Me Too movement The difference between calling men out vs calling men in (and why it matters) Why accountability alone isn’t working, and what’s missing How men actually benefit from gender equality and a safer world for women What role women play in reshaping masculinity, and where the line is The emotional labor gap in relationships, and why women tend to carry more The growing disconnect in modern dating, and why many women feel misaligned How dating apps and comparison culture are changing expectations for men The biological conversation we avoid: testosterone, male sexuality, and agency Why men are also wired for care, connection, and emotional bonding (not just aggression) The sources from which boys learn masculinity: mainly media, culture, peers, and family Why pop culture (like The Pitt) is starting to show healthier versions of masculinity Why no country, not even Scandinavian countries with progressive policies, has fully figured this out What it actually looks like to raise boys differently in today’s world The link between masculinity, violence, and school shootings in the U.S. Follow Dr. Gary Barker’s organization Equimondo on Instagram Book recommendation: Father Time by Sarah Hrdy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hilary Swank has built a career playing people who refuse to back down, from Boys Don’t Cry to Million Dollar Baby. When Danielle asked her why those stories call to her, she got emotional: “I feel like I’m an underdog. I love the outsiders, and I love rooting for them.” Now the two-time Oscar winner is rooting for every parent standing in a store aisle, trying to figure out what’s actually in the products they bring home. When Hilary was preparing to become a mom, she started reading labels and couldn’t stop. She found toxins in diapers, heavy metals in prenatal vitamins, and “healthy” brands that weren’t healthy at all. So she testified before California lawmakers, partnered with the Environmental Working Group (EWG), and helped pass a law requiring diaper companies to disclose their ingredients. Then she showed up to talk about it, pregnant with baby number three. Hilary and Danielle talk about the 1% companies won’t disclose, why she hangs her head out of taxi windows to escape air fresheners, the pregnancy Cheetos she couldn’t bring herself to eat, and her advice for any woman thinking about having kids later in life: there are no shoulds. As Hilary puts it, “You can’t unknow what you learn.” After this conversation, you won’t want to. In this episode: The “healthy” brands that aren’t healthy at all + why Hilary says greenwashing scared her more than the toxins themselves. What she told California lawmakers after learning her prenatal vitamins could contain heavy metals. The 1% problem: why “99% natural” means nothing. What’s in a diaper your baby wears 24/7 The everyday habits she’s sworn off: why she won’t use hand dryers, touch receipts, or sit in a cab with a pine tree air freshener. The pregnancy craving she gave up in the store aisle after reading the label. (RIP, Cheetos.) Her most honest advice for women thinking about having kids later in life. The one piece of parenting advice she gives everyone How her twins reacted when she told them a baby was coming, and what they now tell strangers’ babies in restaurants. Why the two-time Oscar winner still calls herself an underdog, and why it made her emotional to say it. The Million Dollar Baby moment when she thought, “It’s never going to be this great again.” The surprising reason she said yes to Yellowjackets, and the one thing she’s nervous about. The least Hollywood thing about her. Follow Hilary on Instagram here. Read More About The Environmental Working Group (EWG) here. Book Rec: How To Deal With Your ___ So Your Kids Don't Have To by Eli Harwood See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Want to feel confident talking to anyone about anything, in any room? Great conversation is a skill and Vanessa Van Edwards has spent 20 years studying how to be great at it! A self-described “recovering awkward person,” Vanessa is a behavioral investigator, bestselling author of Captivate, Cues, and The Science of People, and founder of Science of People. She's joining Danielle to share the science of being likable, the secrets of magnetic conversationalists, and simple ways to make every interaction more interesting, meaningful, and fun. From first dates to networking events to those moments when you have absolutely no idea what to say, consider this your conversation cheat sheet. In this episode she shares: The #1 conversation starter to stop using immediately + what to say instead of “What do you do?”
Remember that time on Question Everything when Ginny Clarke said “return to office” ??? The internet was not happy. You all had a lot of thoughts, so we brought her back. Ginny spent more than a decade recruiting executives at Spencer Stuart before leading executive recruiting at Google, which means she's spent years watching companies decide who gets hired, promoted, paid more and eventually overlooked. Now she's back to revisit the RTO debate, explain why she thinks loyalty can be a trap, and tell us what actually makes someone valuable when AI can write the job description and the resume. In this episode: Has Ginny changed her mind about return-to-office, or is she standing on business? Why Ginny says showing up in person still gives you an advantage. Why she says “loyalty … is a trap” What you owe to a job that no longer values you. How your body can let you know when it’s time to go. Why “we're a family” may be the number one red flag at work. If you’re back in the office, how to make it work for you. Why remote work shouldn’t be a disappearing act. What companies need to do to earn an employee’s trust. How to beat AI at its own game when applying for jobs. The difference between experience, skills and competencies, and why no one knows. Why Ginny thinks your resume is probably focusing on all the wrong things. The truth about “ghost jobs” and how 30% of job postings may not be real. Why credibility at work means more than looking like an expert. The interview mistake that can make or break your chances. And the question Ginny thinks everyone should be able to answer: What are you actually good at? Follow Ginny on Instagram here. Visit Ginny’s website here. Book Rec: The Man Who Broke Capitalism by David Gelles See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Bolin called himself a celebrity stylist on MySpace before he’d styled a celebrity. Then the celebrities started calling. Today, he styles actor Morris Chestnut as well having worked with Danielle Brooks, Tyra Banks, Nene Lekes. He is known for seeing someone’s next before they can see it themselves. But success changed something. The man who once moved without asking permission found himself looking for approval. And while he was still dressing clients, his retail business was collapsing. He lost his home, his car, and his office. Most people had no idea. Celebrity stylist and House of Bolin founder J. Bolin joins Danielle Robay to talk about personal style, imposter syndrome, losing everything while looking successful, and what it takes to build again. In this episode he shares: How a fake magazine helped J. Bolin book his first celebrity clients. What styling Morris Chestnut taught him about helping a client take a fashion risk Why success can make you seek approval, even if you started out fearless The moment he walked into a wealthy client’s home with $20 in his bank account and questioned whether he belonged How his retail business collapsed while he was still working as a celebrity stylist Why clothes can become armor when your life doesn’t match the image people see How J. Bolin approaches a rebrand: seeing a person’s “next,” never just their “now” Losing his home, car and office while everyone thought he was thriving. When clothes become armor instead of personal style. Why he gives some of his best ideas away for free. The fashion industry's dirty little secret. Taylor Swift, Steve Harvey, Crocs and who J. Bolin wants to rebrand. Why he shares styling ideas and mood boards before anyone hires him Fashion industry gatekeeping, designer rejections, and what he’s learned from hearing no His takes on Taylor Swift’s style, Steve Harvey’s fashion, Crocs The $40 button down you need form Walmart Follow Jason on Instagram here. Visit Jason’s website here. Book Recommendation: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
At 22, Danielle Brooks was being chased through subway stations by Orange Is the New Black fans while still struggling to afford the life her new fame seemed to require. The series helped turn Netflix into a cultural force and made her recognizable around the world, but behind the success, Danielle was afraid to negotiate, afraid of being replaced, and increasingly willing to let other people decide what came next. Now an Oscar-nominated actor, Grammy winner, wife, mother, and host of the podcast The Intermission, Danielle gets strikingly honest about the money, rejection, faith, ambition, and self-doubt that shaped her rise + the power she’s finally ready to claim. In this episode, Danielle shares: The reality of becoming globally famous before becoming financially stable