TPP 324a: A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent ChildrenShow Notes
Linda Murphy describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles. We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem.
Things you'll learn from this episode
* What it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language)
* Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidance
* Why declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulation
* Common language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions)
* How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and development
* What we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communication
* What to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”?
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