EP 291: Rejection, Redirection & Recovery ~ What My 12-Year-Old Taught Me About Worth & Letting Go

Sis, here’s the truth: most of us wake up and immediately go into reaction mode. You react to how your body feels. You react to the number on the scale. You react to what you see in the mirror, to the anxiety about what you’re going to eat today. You’re constantly reacting to life like it’s happening to you — and when you’re in recovery, living in reaction mode keeps you right where the eating disorder wants you, because it feeds off the panic, the fear, the overwhelm. Today I’m handing you a simple 5-minute ritual that interrupts that pattern and shifts you from reaction to intention. Grab your journal — this one’s a keeper. Why this works (it’s not just woo): When you shift from reacting to practicing intention and mindfulness, you’re literally changing your brain — moving out of the amygdala (the fear-based, reactive part the eating disorder hijacks) and into the prefrontal cortex, where you make conscious, value-based decisions. Research in positive psychology also shows gratitude practices meaningfully reduce anxiety and depression and build real well-being. This little ritual puts the power back in your hands. The ritual — three questions to ask yourself: 1. What am I grateful for? Not toxic positivity — evidence of goodness, even on hard days. And get specific to recovery: “I’m grateful my body digested food yesterday without me obsessing.” “I’m grateful I sat through dinner with friends and was present.” “I’m grateful for the energy I had because I nourished myself.” You’re training your brain to find proof that your recovery is working. On the really hard days, start tiny: I’m grateful I woke up. I’m grateful for this breath. I’m grateful I get to show up even when I don’t want to. 2. What am I focused on gaining? This is the game changer — shifting from avoidance motivation (I’m scared to gain weight, I don’t want to lose control) to approach motivation (moving toward something). Instead of “I’m trying not to restrict,” ask “What am I gaining by nourishing my body?” — freedom from food thoughts, energy for your kids, mental clarity, peace in your own skin. We’re not running away from fear. We’re running toward our best self. 3. What am I choosing to release? You can’t gain what you named in question two while gripping the old beliefs and behaviors. Releasing might sound like: “I’m releasing the belief that my worth is tied to the scale.” “I’m releasing the need to know every calorie.” “I’m releasing comparison to how I looked five years ago.” “I’m releasing the expectation that recovery should look perfect.” Naming what you release creates awareness — and awareness gives you the power to say, “No, I already put that down,” every time it tries to sneak back in. The heart of it: When you live with intention instead of reaction, recovery stops being something you’re just trying to survive and becomes something you’re actively creating. “You’re not white-knuckling your way through recovery anymore. You’re intentionally choosing what you want to gain. We are going toward our very best self.” Your work this week: Use the ritual — at the start of your week, in the morning, when you’re triggered, or when you feel yourself slipping into old patterns. Five minutes. Write down one thing for each: what you’re grateful for, what you’re gaining, what you’re releasing. Intention over reaction.

Sis, we’re heading into the season of triggers — and if you’re already spiraling about how you’ll handle all the food, all the people, and all the comments about bodies and what’s on your plate, this episode is your armor. You know the moment: you sit down at the table, and your aunt says “you look so healthy, are you eating more?” or “wow, you’ve lost so much weight!” — and just like that, your chest tightens, your throat closes, and before you even realize it, you’re making plans to restrict tomorrow or add an extra workout this week. I’ve been there (Thanksgiving was the trigger for me). So today I’m handing you the real-time game plan I walk through with my clients — including one, “Allison,” who texted me mid-panic from a family gathering this week. The 6-step plan for when you’re triggered:

If recovery from an eating disorder feels so hard right now that you're white-knuckling your way through it — "why do I have to do this? why me?" — sis, I've been exactly where you are. But there's a blind spot keeping you stuck in that fight, and one shift in how you see it can make the whole thing feel lighter. Not because the work changes. Because you do. In this episode:

Sis, let's start with something true, and a little bit hard. When we first start down the long road of an eating disorder, we could never have imagined what we'd give up to become the smallest version of ourselves. It doesn't happen all at once — it's a slow sacrifice, one tiny concession at a time, until one day you look up and wonder, how did I ever let it get this far? And then, when you finally get out of denial, you ask the two questions: Will this ever change? And how do I change it? Today I'm answering that — with five things recovery taught me. And they're probably not the five you'd expect. Because recovery was never flashy. It wasn't the compliments or the "what do you do to be so skinny?" It was quiet. It was ordinary. It was doing the right thing when no one was watching and no one was clapping. The 5 things recovery taught me:

How's your week starting off, sis? Because mine? My Monday was a blur. The weekend was crazy, I got thrown into the week, and I needed a level set — a true up. So if you're feeling that too, this episode is your reset. Today I'm sharing a simple, repeatable weekly check-in — I call it True Up Tuesday — that realigns your goals with your authentic self so one chaotic Monday doesn't hijack your whole week (or your recovery). Because freedom doesn't happen overnight, but it also doesn't happen without tangible tools you actually use. The truth at the heart of this episode: In a recent therapy session, my therapist told me something that stopped me cold: "Lindsey, you have a faulty notion that you can get everything done. You can't be everything to everybody." And listen — I'm the doer, Miss High Standards (I know you are too, or you wouldn't be here). But here's what I had to hear, and what you might need today: you can do hard things, but you can't do all things. The True Up Tuesday check-in: Grab your journal and fill in the blanks: