Why We Must Slow Down in Love

There’s a difficult mood we’re in danger of falling into that’s made up of four elements in particular: low spirits, guilt, paranoia and irritability. It’s in such a mood that we might step back and ask ourselves a distinctive question:

You’ll know you’ve truly become socially adept when you finally manage to make small talk with that most challenging and unforgiving of characters: a small child you hardly know. Uploaded 10-08-17Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/7DmMDBe more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/2u3UNFURTHER READING“It can be easy to imagine we possess reasonable social skills, because we know how to maintain a conversation with strangers and – every now and then – manage to make a whole table laugh.But there’s a test far sterner than this, surprising in its ability to trip us up: the challenge of having a pleasant time with a child we don’t know. Theoretically speaking, this should be so easy. We were all once kids. We know a great deal more than they do and – as far as they’re concerned – hold all the cards: if we felt like it, we could buy 26 packets of biscuits and go to bed whenever we wanted…”You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/9APsauMORE SCHOOL OF LIFEWatch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationshipsSOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSProduced in collaboration with: Martin Pickleshttp://martinpickles.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Some of the reason why we choose such unsuitable partners in love is that we aren't trying to find someone who ideally suits us, we're looking out for someone who feels familiar. We recreate in adulthood patterns of attachment that we know from childhood - and thereby often perpetuate cycles of suffering and dissatisfaction.Uploaded 01-07-20FURTHER READING"Konrad Lorenz, who was born in 1903 and died in 1989, was an Austrian ornithologist and zoologist who spent most of his adult life in marshes and wetlands studying the behaviour of greylag geese and jackdaws. What particularly interested him was how these birds seem to develop an attachment to their mother from within a few minutes of their birth, following dutifully behind her and obeying her guidance in matters of sheltering and feeding..."MORE SCHOOL OF LIFEWatch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationshipsSOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSProduced in collaboration with:Elaine Song Title animation produced in collaboration withVale Productionshttps://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://www.theschooloflife.com/the-school-of-life-youtube/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description&utm_campaign=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDjlHY5Z2xI&t=7s