Should I Stay or Should I Go? How to Know If Your Marriage Is Really Over with Betsy Pake
Stronger Bolder WiserShow Notes
Nobody walks into a marriage planning to leave it, yet so many midlife women are quietly asking whether to stay or go. Your body often knows the answer first.
In this episode I sit down with Betsy Pake, certified master coach and founder of The Navigate Method, to unpack the question so many midlife women are asking: should I stay or should I go? We talk about why women are choosing peace over partnership, the purgatory of indecision, and how an unhappy marriage so often sits underneath a woman's drinking. Betsy shares her Mirror, Mend or Move method and how to tell a hard season from a marriage that is not coming back. This conversation won't tell you whether to stay or leave, but it will give you the clarity to decide for yourself.
Key Takeaways -If he only wants to work on the marriage once you are ready to leave, look at why. It is often because he doesn't want his own life to change, not because of your unhappiness. -Find a witness. Saying out loud how bad things really helps you see what is real when your brain has been minimizing it for years. -Surrender sounds like "I don't know what I'm going to do, but it's not this." From there, ask what would need to change for you to feel whole again. -The women who rebuild best after divorce own it: this isn't what I wanted, but it's what I have, and it's the best thing for me.
Timestamps Why Women Initiate Most Divorces After 55 (00:00) The Purgatory Of Indecision In Your Marriage (03:49) Doing It All And Still Not Feeling Seen (06:25) Is Your Marriage The Reason You Drink? (10:07) How Women Shrink To Save A Marriage (13:04) He's A Good Man, So Why Am I Unhappy? (25:23) How To Know If Your Marriage Is Over (27:10) Can A Roommate Marriage Be Saved? (29:50) Your Body Knows Before Your Brain Does (32:15) Breaking Free From Good Wife Shame (38:08) Mirror, Mend Or Move: The 3 Door Method (43:25) Should I Leave? You Already Know The Answer (49:51) Can You Trust Divorce Decisions In Perimenopause? (53:53) What Life After Midlife Divorce Really Looks Like (01:00:10) Numbing Marriage Unhappiness With Alcohol (01:03:34) Find Betsy Pake And The Art Of Living Big (01:07:49)
5 Foods to Swap The five foods stealing your energy and adding visceral fat in midlife, plus what to eat instead. Five simple swaps, big difference in how you feel.Get your free guide → https://programs.sarahrusbatch.com/free-guide-5-food
Prefer Instagram? DM me the word FOODS and I'll send it straight to you.👉 https://www.instagram.com/sarahrusbatch/
*** Betsy Pake is a certified master coach, speaker, and founder of The Navigate Method, a coaching program that helps women chart a new path in, or out of, their marriage. Drawing on her own experience of leaving a marriage and rebuilding her life, she helps women heal old patterns, calm their nervous systems, and trust their own decisions. She is trauma informed, trained in NLP, and hosts The Art of Living Big podcast.
Website: https://betsypake.com Instagram: @betsypake The Art of Living Big podcast https://betsypake.com/art-living-big/
The Navigate Method, her 10-week program with curriculum, nervous system tools, community coaching and one-on-one support https://betsypake.com/navigate/
Program details and ways to work with Betsy at https://betsypake.com
*** Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/
If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don’t always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women’s Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067
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Taking 30 days off alcohol in midlife rarely feels the way social media promises. Boredom, flatness and broken sleep often come first, and none of it means you're doing it wrong.In this video I share the five most unexpected things women discover in their first 30 days without wine, from the 5 to 7pm boredom to the friend who suddenly goes quiet. I explain why your brain can feel flat once alcohol stops lighting up your dopamine reward centre, and why sedation is not the same as restorative sleep. Most importantly, I explain why all of it settles.Key Topics Covered- Why boredom hits hardest between 5 and 7pm when you stop drinking, and why taking alcohol out means adding something in, like an evening walk, a class or a hobby.- Feeling flat after quitting alcohol: how years of drinking dysregulate your dopamine receptors, and why it evens out with time.- What to do when friends get weird about you not drinking, and why talking to your closest friends first helps.- Why sleep without alcohol can get worse before it gets better, and how to ride the emotional rollercoaster of the early weeks.Timestamps What Happens When You Stop Drinking For 30 Days (00:00) Thing 1: Boredom Between 5 And 7pm (00:40) Thing 2: Feeling Flat After You Stop Drinking (02:01) Thing 3: When Friends Get Weird About You Not Drinking (02:44) Thing 4: Why Sleep Gets Worse Before It Gets Better (03:37) Thing 5: Feeling Emotional Over Nothing (04:40) Free Support To Change Your Drinking (05:20)Also Watch My Previous Episodes:- Seven Signs You Are a Grey Area Drinker- Six Reasons Successful Women Are Quietly Quitting Alcohol- Three Reasons Women Cannot Metabolise Alcohol as Effectively as Men***Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit?Download my free guide "100 Things to Do Instead of Drinking", a toolkit for sitting with those feelings instead of reaching for a glass of wine.Get your free guide → https://bit.ly/4qOiGUw***Sarah Rusbatch is an accredited Health and Wellbeing Coach and one of Australia's leading experts on grey area drinking. Her podcast, Stronger, Bolder, Wiser, is the go-to space for women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol, navigating life alcohol-free, or simply curious about what life could look like on the other side of the bottle. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help more women find this community.Find out more about my other programs here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/If you want to join a space where women feel safe to be seen, ask the questions they don't always say out loud and connect with others going through the same, join my free Facebook group, Women's Wellbeing Collective here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/342319476897067And if changing your relationship with alcohol is something you want to explore further, you can find my book Beyond Booze on Audible, Spotify, Kindle and Amazon. Click the link here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/beyond-booze
Struggling to know what to do when stress, boredom or big emotions hit?