Show Notes
Description: In this episode of the Coaches Roundtable, hosted by Eric Tivers, the team gathers to reflect on the progress and insights from Week 2 of their coaching group, where we explore the relationship that we have with our ADHD. Listen in to the end to find out which coach says "F*uck You" to their ADHD and why. ADHD Letter Writing Exercise Discussion Eric initiated a discussion about the personal relationship with ADHD and the exercise of writing letters to ADHD. Kristin shared her experiences, emphasizing the therapeutic effects of externalizing her ADHD through writing, and how it helped her come to terms with her condition. Brian, on the other hand, initially found the exercise strange but later appreciated its value in processing and communicating with ADHD. Both Kristin and Brian agreed on the idea that this exercise has helped them build a deeper understanding and develop a more authentic relationship with their ADHD. Exercise for Enhancing Intimacy Awareness Brian shared his initial struggles with a particular exercise but emphasized its ultimate value in helping him become more aware of his vulnerabilities and issues with intimacy. Eric highlighted the power of the exercise in creating a sense of connection and normalizing experiences. A question arose about whether participants should be informed about the exercise's content in advance, with Kristin clarifying that such information could potentially alter the performance and resistance of participants. Personal Letter Sharing and Community Trust Eric and Kristin discussed the shift in approach towards sharing personal letters within their community. Eric expressed that he no longer insists on sharing, but encourages those who wish to do so, while Kristin emphasized the importance of respecting individual privacy and the value of vulnerability within their sharing process. They also noted that they revisit this exercise throughout the community's engagement, observing that participants continue to share and show trust in others' privacy. ADHD Experiences and Perceptions Discussion Kristin, Eric, and Brian discussed their experiences with ADHD and the impact it has on their lives. They talked about the tendency to view the current moment as a representation of the entire journey, and how this can lead to inaccurate perceptions. They emphasized the importance of acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of their ADHD, and how this can help them stay motivated to use their tools and strategies. Eric shared his recent experience of writing a letter to his ADHD, expressing both gratitude and frustration towards it. The conversation also touched on some ongoing challenges in Eric's business. Eric Addresses Financial Struggles and Adhd Eric expressed his frustrations regarding the recent financial struggles of the business and the perceived lack of attention to financial health. He also acknowledged the emotional toll the challenges have taken and thanked the team for their support. Eric emphasized the importance of addressing the emotional issues related to having Adhd and how it impacts productivity and time management. Kristin and Brian appreciated Eric's candor and reflection. Eric ended the conversation by looking forward to the next roundtable discussion on planning and to-do lists. *This summary was generated by Zoom Ai.
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Episode Summary What makes a relationship truly toxic, and how do you know whether it can be repaired or whether it's time to walk away? In this episode, Eric is joined by licensed professional counselor, board-certified art therapist, and Radiant Life Project founder Kate King, author of Mend or Move On: A Guide to Healing or Leaving Toxic Relationships. Together, they explore toxic dynamics in romantic relationships, families, friendships, and workplaces, including why ADHDers and other neurodivergent people may be especially vulnerable to people-pleasing, fawning, conflict avoidance, and staying too long in painful situations. Kate shares her framework for the seven traps that can keep us stuck, along with practical ways to recognize patterns, communicate needs, build tolerance for difficult conversations, and decide whether a relationship has the mutual willingness needed to mend. Show Notes In this episode, you'll learn: How to distinguish a truly toxic relationship from a relationship that is simply struggling Why your body may recognize a toxic dynamic before your brain fully accepts it How familiar dysfunction can feel safer than unfamiliar change The difference between healthy interdependence and codependency Why people-pleasing, fawning, and conflict avoidance are often rooted in nervous-system safety patterns How to begin practicing "easier hard things" to build tolerance for difficult conversations How to assess whether a relationship, family dynamic, or workplace can be repaired Why mutual willingness is essential if a relationship is going to mend Kate's seven traps of toxic relationships: Buy-in Comfort Powerlessness False ownership Unhealed trauma Avoidance Codependency Guest Kate King is a former licensed professional counselor, board-certified art therapist, award-winning author, radiant life coach, and founder of The Radiant Life Project. She is the author of The Radiant Life Project and Mend or Move On: A Guide to Healing or Leaving Toxic Relationships. Learn more about Kate, her books, and her work at theradiantlifeproject.com. Resources Mentioned The Radiant Life Project: theradiantlifeproject.com ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups: coachingrewired.com One-on-one ADHD coaching worldwide and therapy in Illinois: adhdrewired.com Adult Study Hall: adhdrewired.com Support ADHD reWired on Patreon: patreon.com/adhdrewired Patreon Update The monthly Patreon Coaching Call, available to Patreon supporters at the $25/month level and above, is held on the last Tuesday of each month. The call has moved from 4:00 p.m. Eastern to 2:00 p.m. Eastern. Chapters 6:01 — Introduction and Guest Bio 7:10 — Kate's ADHD Connection: Growing Up with an ADHD Parent 11:31 — Identifying a Toxic Workplace 15:44 — Mend or Move On: Where to Start 20:54 — Personal and Family Relationships 21:59 — Three Signs of a Truly Toxic Relationship 23:24 — The One Requirement to Mend a Relationship 30:46 — Building the Courage to Leave 33:26 — The Seven Traps of Toxic Relationships: Introduction and False Ownership 36:33 — Buy-in, Comfort, and Powerlessness 37:42 — Unhealed Trauma and Shadow Work 38:53 — Avoidance and Codependency 43:17 — Kate's Relationship and Healing Journey 45:48 — Spotting Gaslighting in a Partnership 48:53 — You Don't Owe Anyone Anything 51:42 — Where to Find Kate's Work
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