How to Be Your True Self: Family, Sexuality & Mental Health | Hilton da Silva | A Bunch of Therapists Podcast | Episode 17

This episode contains discussion around mental health in the family, bipolar disorder, coming out, and psychosexual therapy. 🎧 Join us for a wide-ranging and fascinating conversation with psychosexual and relationship counsellor Hilton da Silva as he shares his journey from Brazil to London, navigating family mental health challenges, and finding freedom to be his authentic self. This honest and inclusive discussion explores how early experiences with mental health in the family shaped Hilton's path to becoming a specialist in psychosexual and relationship work, offering valuable insights for people in relationships of all kinds. Hosted by: Michaela McCarthy (Founder of The Awareness Centre, The Awareness Centre Training School, and Creator and Host of A Bunch of Therapists Podcast. Senior BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and Influential Leader) and Dipti Solanki (Therapist, Coach and Consultant, Mental Health Trainer and Founder of Grief Matters 4 All CIC). In this compelling episode, Hilton openly shares: • Growing up in Brazil and experiencing mental health problems in his family from a young age • How his brother's bipolar disorder and erratic behaviour impacted the entire family • Moving to live with a relative as a teenager due to family circumstances • Finding his way as a queer person and the challenges of growing up LGBTQIA+ • His decision to move to London where he felt freer to be his true self • Training to become a therapist and specialising in psychosexual and relationship work • Supporting clients with sexual dysfunction, shame, intimacy, and communication issues • Working as Team Leader for Wandsworth Talking Therapies This essential conversation offers inclusive and sound advice for people in every sort of relationship, however they identify, and valuable insights into how personal experiences can inform therapeutic specialisation. 🔍 Key Topics Discussed: • The impact of family mental health challenges on young people • Navigating cultural and family expectations around sexuality and identity • Finding freedom and authenticity through geographical change • How psychosexual and relationship therapy works in practice • Supporting clients with sexual dysfunction and intimacy issues • Addressing shame and communication problems in relationships • Conflict avoidance and its impact on relationships • Creating inclusive therapeutic spaces for all relationship types • The connection between personal healing and professional calling Chapters: 00:00 Intro 1:15 Why Hilton went to therapy and his brother's journey to being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 06:54 Hilton’s decision to move away as a teenager 09:35 Hilton’s experience as a gay, cisgender man living in Brazil and hiding his sexuality as a teenager 10:13 How Hilton’s mum discovered his sexuality 11:35 The fear of being asked to leave your home because your sexuality isn’t accepted 12:10 Hilton’s first experience of therapy at 33 13:00 Why Hilton came to London 14:07 Hilton’s unexpected journey to becoming a therapist 15:30 Hilton’s best therapist and the importance of finding the right therapist as being part of a marginalised community 16:17 How Hilton knew he was gay and dating girls 17:29 Making LGBTQ+ friends and the freedom they feel to be open in London 18:52 Transphobic crime in Brazil 20:00 Hilton’s journey to training to become a therapist 21:32 Hilton’s marriage to a fellow therapist 22:24 What is Psychosexual Therapy 22:47 Vagnismus 24:26 Couple’s Therapy common challenges 25:05 Relationship Problems 25:38 The benefit of going to therapy 27:38 Avoidant-Conflict 28:24 How Hilton works now 30:15 Working with the LGBT community, keeping up with the younger generation and different identities 32:20 The most common issue that people bring into the therapy room with Hilton 34:00 Hilton’s final message for listeners 35:15 Outro

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