Show Notes
Welcome to Episode 481 of the Sexology Podcast! I'm thrilled to have Gigi Engle join me today as she talks about kink, how it's frequently misinterpreted, and how people can explore their desires with open communication, curiosity, and safety.
Gigi and I discuss what kink actually entails and why it is much more expansive than the preconceived notions that many people have about it. She describes how the term "kink" serves as a catch-all for a variety of relational and sensory experiences, ranging from more symbolic forms of erotic expression to power dynamics and sensation play.
Gigi Engle is a COSRT-registered, MNCIP, ACS, CSE, CSC, GSRD-accredited, award-winning author, certified sex & relationships psychotherapist, and sex educator. She works clinically as an associate clinician at The Therapy Yard, where she specializes in supporting GSRD (Gender, Sexuality, and Relationship Diverse) clients, including members of the LGBTQIA+ community, kinky folx, and people in polyamorous and open relationships.
Gigi is the author of two books: Kink Curious and All The F*cking Mistakes. Kink Curious is available for pre-order and comes out January 21st.
In this episode, you will hear:
· The True Meaning of Kink · Distinctions Between Fetish and Kink · Reasons Behind Many People's Unrealized Kinkiness · The Evolution of Kinks · Psychology of Symbolic and Sensory Play · Kink Exploration's Emotional Safety · The Significance of Safe Words and Consent · Comprehending the Concept of an Enthusiastic Maybe · Managing Shame Regarding Sexual Desires · How Couples Can Respectfully Discuss Kinks
Thank you to our sponsor! Steady Freddy is here to bring men's sexual health out of the shadows and into everyday conversation. Their Delay Spray created for men who experience premature ejaculation, or just want to last a bit longer in bed. It's simple. Spray on. Play on. Enjoy! Use the code SEXOLOGY and enjoy 15% off.
Spice Up Your Social Media Feed AND Your Sex Life: Follow Us On Instagram
Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
More from Sexology
Can sex create an altered state of consciousness without psychedelic substances? For some people, deeply present sexual experiences can involve changes in time perception, heightened sensory awareness, a softened sense of self, emotional release, and an intense feeling of connection. In Episode 513 of the Sexology Podcast, Dr. Nazanin Moali speaks with AASECT-certified sex therapist and psychedelic therapist Dori Lewis about why sex can sometimes feel psychedelic and how mindfulness, ritual, safety, and intentional touch may deepen pleasure and intimacy. This conversation is not about having sex while using psychedelic substances. Instead, Dori explores how sexual experiences themselves can produce shifts in awareness that may feel expansive, transcendent, or transformative. Dori and Dr. Moali discuss why performance-focused sex can prevent people from accessing these deeper experiences. When your attention is focused on whether you are attractive enough, aroused enough, or performing correctly, it becomes harder to notice subtle sensations and remain connected to your body. You will also learn how slowing down, creating intentional rituals, practicing nonsexual touch, and communicating boundaries can support a greater sense of safety and connection. Dori explains why consent, nervous system regulation, and emotional trust are essential when exploring intense or vulnerable experiences. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN: • What an altered state of consciousness during sex can feel like • Why some sexual experiences may feel psychedelic • How mindfulness can deepen sexual pleasure • Why sensory awareness matters during intimacy • How performance pressure disconnects you from your body • How to create rituals for sexual connection • Why safety, boundaries, and consent support surrender • How parenthood can affect nervous system regulation and intimacy • How to communicate your needs and receive pleasure • How somatic practices may support embodied awareness • Why trauma-informed care matters during intense experiences • How nonsexual touch can help partners reconnect • How sex and psychedelic experiences may overlap and differ COMMON QUESTIONS ANSWERED: CAN SEX CREATE AN ALTERED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS? Some people experience changes in their perception of time, sensory intensity, self-awareness, emotional openness, or connection during sex. These experiences can feel different from ordinary waking awareness, although they are not necessarily identical to substance-induced psychedelic states. WHY CAN SEX SOMETIMES FEEL PSYCHEDELIC? Intense sensory focus, emotional vulnerability, rhythmic movement, changes in breathing, pleasure, and a temporary reduction in self-monitoring may contribute to experiences that feel expansive or transcendent. DO YOU NEED PSYCHEDELIC SUBSTANCES TO HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE? No. This episode explores altered states that may occur through sexual connection, mindfulness, ritual, sensory awareness, and intentional touch without using psychedelic substances. HOW CAN MINDFULNESS DEEPEN SEXUAL EXPERIENCES? Mindfulness can help you notice physical sensations, emotions, boundaries, and shifts in arousal without immediately judging them. This may reduce performance pressure and make it easier to remain present. ABOUT DORI LEWIS Dori Lewis, MA, MEd, LPC-S, is the co-founder of Elemental Psychedelics and owner of Reflective Healing, a psychotherapy practice in Fort Collins, Colorado. She is a licensed professional counselor, psychedelic therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist. Dori has spent more than a decade working in transpersonal and depth-oriented approaches and has supported hundreds of ketamine and psilocybin therapy sessions. She also trains psychedelic practitioners and works at the intersection of sexuality, embodiment, and altered consciousness. LEARN MORE ABOUT DORI LEWIS: https://www.reflectivehealing.com/ DOWNLOAD THE FREE STRESS REDUCTION KIT: https://nazanin-moali.mykajabi.com/opt-in
Why can’t you orgasm, even when you know what feels good? Dr. Nazanin Moali speaks with consulting hypnotist and somatic coach Melinda Love about difficulty reaching orgasm, sexual performance anxiety, orgasm pressure, and getting out of your head during sex. Learn how shame, distraction, negative beliefs, responsive desire, and partner pressure can affect pleasure, plus practical ways to feel safer, more present, and more connected to your body.
How can you turn your partner on without making sex feel pressured? Marni Kinrys joins Dr. Nazanin Moali to explain how flirting, emotional connection, slow seduction, and non-demanding affection can help couples rebuild desire and escape the roommate dynamic.
Why can someone orgasm alone but not with a partner? Anna Cordin shares her personal experience of faking orgasms for 30 years and having her first partnered orgasm at age 49. She and Dr. Nazanin Moali discuss sexual performance pressure, trust, emotional connection, feeling safe, letting go of control, and communicating honestly about pleasure.
What can changes in your erections reveal about your heart, hormones, and metabolic health?