When people make you believe untruthful things about yourself.

Some people have a way of making us feel bad about ourselves. There's no reason for it. Some people are just awful. And they do it to get a reaction from us, giving them a sense of satisfaction when we respond the way they hoped. It's time to stop that cycle and stop feeding the monsters.

This is a follow-up episode for number 687: "Is it love or control?" Take time to reflect on 10 self-assessment questions based on the key themes from that episode. Pause between each question and be honest with yourself as you consider how these patterns show up in your life and relationships.

Feeling strangled by someone else's demands, guilt trips, or subtle punishments? In this episode, I provide a list of both loving and controlling behaviors so you have no doubt what's going on with you and someone else in your life.

Wanting different things than your partner (kids, stability, freedom) doesn't make you a bad person — it makes this relationship a system with incompatible "inputs." And if you feel torn or guilty about what to do, I've been there. And I'll walk you through the hard questions you need to ask before resentment becomes the default.

Life is really all about a series of decisions from moment to moment. Most are no-brainers: You know when to eat, for example. But others can literally be life-changing. And for those, being grounded and sure about your decision is the best place to be before making it.