Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

You're Trading Your Soul for Approval. Tyler Staton on Why Your Hurry, Your Limits, and Your Need to Be Loved Are All Connected

Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

Show Notes

You've been filling your days to the brim and calling it faithfulness. Every hour accounted for. Every margin eliminated. You pull it all off, too, and you reach the end of the day unable to say why it felt empty. The people you love most were technically present, but you couldn't really see them. You measured the day by what got done, not by who got loved. And underneath the productivity, if you're honest, there was a quieter engine running — the fear that if you slowed down, you'd have to sit with something you're not ready to face. Tyler Staton, lead pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland, author of Praying Like Monks Living Like Fools, The Familiar Stranger, and his newest book After Amen, joins me for what I believe is one of the most theologically precise and personally confronting conversations this show has produced. Tyler has walked through a stage-four cancer diagnosis and come through it with a startling clarity about what the soul actually needs. In this conversation we cover the holiness of unfinished things, how to distinguish Spirit-led submission from fear-driven people-pleasing, what it means to absorb the wrongs of another without becoming a doormat, why approval addiction and genuine love cannot coexist in the same moment, and what Jesus's own relationship to human limits reveals about how we were designed to live. What Tyler says about the Kingdom of God is worth stopping on. The Kingdom only comes in the present, he argues, and when you're living in your head, toward the next thing, you cannot participate in it. This isn't a productivity hack. It's a diagnosis of a spiritual condition most of us have normalized. The hurry we've made peace with is the very thing severing us from the people we love, the voice of the Spirit we say we want, and the joy we keep expecting to find somewhere ahead. What you'll find in this conversation is not comfort. You'll find a mirror. Tyler names the lie that high-achievers and approval-seekers share in common: that more urgency and more effort will eventually produce the love and belonging we're chasing, and he tells you exactly why that trade will cost you your soul. This conversation will ask something of you. The question is whether you're ready to slow down enough to hear it. Guest Bio Tyler Staton is the lead pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon, and the national director of 24-7 Prayer USA. He is the author of Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools, The Familiar Stranger — a book about encountering the Holy Spirit as a living Person — and his newest release, After Amen: 50 Days of Poetry and Prayer, written in the aftermath of a stage-four cancer diagnosis and the particular clarity that kind of wilderness produces. Tyler lives in Portland with his wife Kirsten, and their three sons. His work sits at the intersection of contemplative prayer, Spirit-led formation, and the kind of pastoral honesty that refuses to separate theological depth from ordinary daily life. Show Partner SafeSleeve designs a phone case that blocks up to 99% of harmful EMF radiation—so I'm not carrying that kind of exposure next to my body all day. It's sleek, durable, and most importantly, lab-tested by third parties. The results aren't hidden—they're published right on their site. And that matters because many so-called EMF blockers on the market either don't work or can't prove they do. We protect our hearts and minds—why wouldn't we protect our bodies too? Head to safesleevecases.com and use the code WINTODAY10 for 10% off your order. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

More from Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

Oct 21, 2026

Somewhere along the way, the performance became the person, and now you can't tell where the effort to look faithful ends and actual faithfulness begins. You know the language of sin and repentance; you can name your type, and people call you disciplined, loyal, even authentic, yet underneath sits an exhaustion that trying harder has never touched. The mask you put on to stay approved and protected has been on so long that it now feels like your face. Chuck DeGroat returns with twenty-five years of sitting with pastors, leaders, and couples whose defenses have hardened into narcissism, which he insists runs on a spectrum that includes more of us than we'd admit. About Chuck DeGroat Chuck DeGroat is a professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary in Holland, Michigan, where he also serves as founding executive director of the clinical mental health counseling program. A licensed therapist, spiritual director, and former pastor in Orlando and San Francisco, he has spent more than two decades counseling pastors and leaders on the narcissistic spectrum and those wounded by them, work he wrote about in When Narcissism Comes to Church. His newest book is Who You're Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Oct 14, 2026

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Oct 7, 2026

Dr. Les Parrott joins me for a conversation that refuses the comfort of our cultural vocabulary. As a clinical psychologist, Les insists that pain isn't the same thing as trauma, and that the difference lies in what an experience has done to your capacity to feel safe and function, not in how much it hurt. From there we press into love itself, because rescuing people from the consequences of their choices can feel like compassion while keeping them small. About Dr. Les Parrott Dr. Les Parrott is a clinical psychologist and, with his wife, Dr. Leslie Parrott, a #1 New York Times bestselling author and cofounder of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. He created the Save Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) Assessment, a premarital tool used by counselors around the world, and has given his career to helping people build healthy relationships. His newest book with Leslie, The One Year Positive Mental Health Devotional (Tyndale, October 2026), pairs biblical truth with psychological insight for anyone who has ever been kept awake by an anxious mind. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Sep 30, 2026

You've become very good at being seen. You know how to read a room, how to offer just enough of your story to seem open while keeping the deepest thing safely out of view, how to hand the world a competent, admirable version of yourself. And still, underneath the feed and the applause and the performance you have perfected, there is an ache you can no longer explain away, because you are surrounded and you are not known. In this conversation, Ian Simkins joins me to name the quiet distance between the platform and the table, and to expose how much of our exhaustion is simply the cost of maintaining an image our bodies, our nervous systems, and our spirits were never built to sustain. About Ian Simkins Ian Simkins is the lead pastor of The Bridge Church just outside Nashville, Tennessee, where he lives with his wife, Katie, and their three sons. Shaped for years in ministry in the Chicagoland area before moving his family to Middle Tennessee, he writes and teaches out of the actual life of a local church rather than from theory. His new book, Every Table an Altar: Reclaiming Connection in a World of Division, Distraction, and Loneliness (Zondervan), was born from that community, and it makes the case that the antidote to our disconnection is not another program or platform but the ordinary, sacred practice of gathering at a table. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Sep 23, 2026

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