Writing the ADHD guide we wish we'd had

Your partner has rehearsed this conversation 10 times. You’re walking in at one. No wonder it goes sideways. Dani Burford doesn’t have ADHD, but her husband, Sean, does, along with OCD tendencies. Dani, who works in marketing at Understood.org, joins Cate for a casual, practical conversation about the systems that help them stay on the same team. She explains how they use things like the “care meter,” a 1-to-10 rating that ends three-hour debates about paint colors, the mess monster, and who takes the blame for last night’s dishes. And why asking “What script did you write for me?” can calm a worst-case spiral. Dani and Cate explain the importance of talking about how you talk, the benefits of putting time limits on hard talks, and why alone time doesn’t mean “I don’t want to be with you.” They also discuss what to do when your way of getting things done doesn’t work for your partner’s brain — and why it’s rarely about you.

Ever reached for food when you were stressed, bored, or overwhelmed, then felt ashamed afterward? For many people with ADHD, eating isn’t only about hunger. Impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and low dopamine can shape how, when, and why we eat. For some people that becomes an eating disorder. If that’s you, you’re not alone.

Are you mad at me? It’s a question “Hyperfocus” host Rae Jacobson has asked more times than she can count.

Research shows that girls with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience intimate partner violence.

Podcaster PJ Vogt has talked about his ADHD for years. Casually. Almost cheerfully. Then things changed. He decided to go off his ADHD medication, and he found the neuropsych report from when he was 13. It didn’t say what he thought.