Show Notes
Have you ever looked at your child and wondered, Where in the world is this behavior coming from? If you’re feeling overwhelmed by big emotions, difficult behavior, or a child you just can’t seem to figure out, this episode is for you. Karen and Emily share practical insight and tools to help you better understand your child and respond with confidence instead of frustration. Episode Recap: Sign up for SOAR today! (1:32) My 10 yr old is so domineering that other kids don’t want to play with him (3:44) My ADHD daughter cannot control her temper and hits frequently (5:39) My son has been horribly mean to us lately, what could be wrong that he has started to treat us this way? (10:05) It’s okay to pause and remind your kids of your family’s rules (13:25) When we discipline our son, he takes his anger out on our Sheetrock (18:09)
Scripture: James 1:19-20 (NIV) “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Discussion Questions: What behavior in your child scares/worries you the most right now? Are you dealing with what’s actually happening, or are you catastrophizing about where it could lead? Karen talked about knowing her children’s sin tendencies. Do you know your child’s? Have you asked God to show you what’s really going on in their heart? When your child loses control, do you tend to lose control too? What would it look like for you to pause before responding? Is there a behavior you’ve been excusing that actually needs a clear boundary or consequence? What do you need to address this week?
Resources: Use code WT20 to get $20 off SOAR registration today! Listen to past ADHD specific episodes: 207, 208, 530 Reach out to have Karen come speak in your community. Become a WT+ Insider this month and get an exclusive SOAR discount!
Want More of This Conversation? During Wire Talk+, Karen pulls back the curtain on what discipline really looked like in the Stubbs home, plus she and Emily talk about how to keep from catastrophizing when our kids’ behavior scares us. Become an Insider today to get bonus content each week, join quarterly Zoom calls with Karen and sustain the ministry of this podcast.
More from Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs
What if making life easier for our kids is actually making it harder for them to grow up? Counselor David Thomas joins Karen and Emily to explain why struggle is GOOD for our kids and how doing hard things builds confidence and capability. Listen in and you’ll be challenged to resist the urge to rescue your kids and give them room to grow! Episode Recap: The pace of life has drastically changed in the last 30 years (3:00) Capability and confidence are built in the struggle to do hard things (7:15) We put too much emphasis on happiness (10:57) Why David intentionally signed his son up for a losing team one season (14:31) Narrating our own capability helps kids learn what it looks like in the real world (17:33) How can parents re-train their brains to allow more struggle in their kids’ lives? (24:47) A challenge for moms of boys! (30:30)
What if one of the best things we can do for our kids is let them struggle? Mom of eight and founder of The Exchange, Elizabeth Pehrson, joins Karen and Emily to talk about parenting for the long game. If you have a hard time watching your child fail, forget, or face the consequences of their choices, this conversation is for you! We hope it will encourage you to loosen your grip and trust God with the outcome. Episode Recap: Your job as a parent is to make sure they don’t need you - the hardest part is accepting your success (4:26) Long game parenting asks, “Who do I want my child to be at 25, 35, 45?” (6:45) How do we get more comfortable with watching our kids struggle? (9:37) Allowing them to experience natural consequences is loving (12:02) Practical examples of starting out small with independence (16:00) Trusting the Lord is the foundation of success in parenting (19:29) You are preparing them for leaving you (22:00)
Parenting a neurodivergent child can feel lonely, especially when the people around you don’t understand what everyday life looks like. Counselor Dr. Chinwé Williams joins Karen and Emily to unpack neurodivergence, executive functioning, and the important difference between “won’t” and “can’t.” Whether you’re raising a neurodivergent child or want to better understand a friend who is, this conversation will help you respond with more empathy and grace. Episode Recap: What does neurodivergent mean and who falls under that umbrella? (2:56) How do I know if it’s an actual skill deficit or simply a will deficit?’ (4:41) What is executive functioning and how do I know if my kid struggles with it? (7:53) Don’t get into unnecessary power struggles (13:08) How do we advocate for our child without removing all obstacles for them? (14:50)
Big emotions can leave even the most confident mom wondering, Is this normal… or should I be concerned? Counselor Dr. Chinwé Williams joins Karen and Emily to explain what’s happening in our kids’ brains when they completely lose it and how we can partner with them to teach coping skills so they can move toward handling hard emotions on their own. Episode Recap: Are kids struggling with mental health more these days or are we just better at recognizing it? (2:32) As young as age 5, kids are struggling with ‘task persistence’ (4:41) Anxiety is a sign - it’s not the enemy (8:54) Understanding the upstairs vs. downstairs brain (15:48) How do we help our child via co-regulation? (20:04) Where’s the line between attachment science and gentle parenting? (22:50)
Working moms carry a lot, and sometimes we make the load even heavier by carrying things God never asked us to! Erin Mashaw joins Karen and Emily to talk about mom guilt, comparison, and that nagging feeling that you’re always disappointing someone.If you’re constantly wondering whether you’re doing enough at work or at home, we hope this conversation will help you put down some of that weight!