Father’s recovery journey leads to helping others overcome addiction

Christchurch GP Dr Caroline Ansley is drawing on her childhood experience in a cult to improve support for people leaving cults and high control groups. Ansley described how her experience helped shape her work educating health professionals about coercive control and the difficulties survivors face. She said teachers, doctors, social workers and other professionals had encountered children in the cult without recognising the harm or knowing how to respond. Some children remained there for years longer than they should have. Having been one of those children, Ansley is now working to help professionals respond more effectively. She runs a New Zealand network of professionals working to improve understanding and support for people affected by high control groups. Her goal is for those leaving to find practical assistance, compassion and professionals who understand their experiences. Her path into medicine required persistence. After unsuccessful attempts to gain entry, she completed a degree before securing a place at medical school, four years after first trying. The ambition began in her teens, after a young woman she knew was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, lost a leg and died aged 16. The experience left Ansley wanting to help others. She worked in emergency medicine before moving into general practice. Her work has since included mental health, sexual assault care and supporting people with severe psychological injuries. Ansley said high control groups can undermine people’s trust in their own judgement while creating dependency and fear of the outside world. For those raised within them, leaving can mean losing their family, community and everything familiar. Finding appropriate support afterwards can also be difficult. She described survivors spending repeated therapy sessions explaining their experiences, or moving between therapists in search of someone who understood. Alongside her professional education work, Ansley helps raise public awareness through the Cult Chat podcast. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Eating disorders can affect people of any age and background, and families are being urged to trust their instincts and seek help early if something does not seem right. The issue was discussed with Eating Disorders Association of New Zealand chair Andrea Bonetto. Bonetto brings both personal and family experience to the issue. She experienced binge eating disorder in her late teens and early 20s, before later supporting her daughter through anorexia nervosa. She said her daughter’s illness initially appeared as an increased interest in healthy eating and exercise, behaviours many parents might ordinarily see as positive. However, Bonetto said restrictive eating disorders can become increasingly obsessive, with warning signs including a growing preoccupation with food, calorie counting, changes in diet, excessive exercise or using exercise to compensate for eating. She said families should take concerns seriously. “If you think that there’s something that’s not quite right, it’s most likely something not quite right.” Bonetto said eating disorders were not limited to teenage girls, with the organisation hearing from families concerned about people ranging from young children through to those in their 80s. Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald MacDonald said eating disorders were complex mental illnesses and could have serious physical consequences. He said families could sometimes become caught in conflict around food, particularly when a person was restricting what they ate, but stressed that eating disorders should not be viewed as a simple choice. Bonetto said treatment for restrictive eating disorders often required families to play an active role, particularly when a young person was unable to make safe decisions about food for themselves. She said families also needed support, describing caring for someone with an eating disorder as an exhausting and often lonely experience. Callers shared their own experiences of serious illness, treatment and recovery, including one man who described a five-year process of rebuilding his relationship with food after being hospitalised at a dangerously low weight. Bonetto said recovery could take different forms and different lengths of time, but hope remained important. “Recovery is possible at any time, at any stage.” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A published author who spent years battling addiction alongside bipolar disorder says learning to accept difficult emotions and ask for help became central to her recovery. Speaking on The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB, Charlotte Bell described how alcohol became a coping mechanism from a young age as she struggled with pressure, stress and expectations she had placed on herself. She said she first discovered alcohol at around 12 and quickly associated drinking with relief. “All that pressure has been released. This is how you’re supposed to feel,” she recalled. Charlotte said she continued to achieve academically and play sport, using those achievements to convince herself her drinking was under control. But beneath the surface, her mental health was deteriorating. She began experiencing extended periods of high energy and intense productivity, followed by long periods of depression. As she got older, those episodes became increasingly severe. In her 20s, Charlotte was eventually diagnosed with bipolar one after seeking professional help. She described reaching a point where mania, sleep deprivation and hallucinations had become frightening enough that she was willing to accept whatever treatment might help. However, the diagnosis did not immediately end her problems with addiction. Over several years, Charlotte moved in and out of alcohol and drug treatment, detox and respite services before entering residential rehabilitation at 30. She spent three months in treatment, focusing entirely on recovery and learning how to build a life without drugs and alcohol. Charlotte said Narcotics Anonymous later became an important source of support, helping her learn to talk about emotions and recognise she could not control everything that happened in her life. Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald told the programme that groups such as NA and Alcoholics Anonymous could also help break down the shame surrounding addiction. “Shame makes us hide,” he said, explaining that speaking honestly among people with similar experiences could provide a powerful counter to that isolation. MacDonald said recovery also relied heavily on determination rather than simply feeling motivated. “Motivation is a feeling that comes and goes,” he said. “We actually just have to be determined.” Charlotte has since written a book, One Year Out, reflecting on addiction, treatment and the first year of recovery. Her story highlighted one of the programme’s central messages: recovery is rarely immediate or straightforward, but with honesty, support and persistence, change is possible. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Artificial intelligence is increasingly becoming a place people turn to for emotional support, but questions remain over whether a chatbot can ever replace genuine human connection. The issue was explored on The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB, where host Hamish Williams and psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald examined the growing use of AI platforms such as ChatGPT and Google Gemini for mental health support. MacDonald said emerging research suggested a significant number of adults and young people were already using AI chatbots to discuss emotions, relationships and personal difficulties. One Canadian study involving about 40,000 students found roughly one in five had used AI for help with feelings or relationship advice. The accessibility of the technology appeared to be part of its appeal. Unlike counselling or phone-based support services, AI can be available immediately, including late at night or during moments of distress. The programme put that idea to the test live on air, with Williams speaking directly to an AI chatbot about his disappointment following the Warriors’ finals loss. The AI responded by acknowledging the disappointment, asking questions about what was upsetting him and later suggesting practical ways to wind down, including stepping away from post-game discussion and doing something calming. Williams said the exchange sounded remarkably similar to conversations commonly heard on The Nutters Club, while MacDonald acknowledged the chatbot had responded effectively once Williams asked for practical help. However, MacDonald also warned that feeling supported was not necessarily the same as receiving effective mental health treatment. He said AI could potentially be useful for simple strategies, such as calming exercises during panic or suggestions for becoming more active when feeling low, but should not be treated as a replacement for therapy, particularly when someone was severely distressed or suicidal. Listeners offered sharply contrasting experiences. Some described using AI during grief, panic attacks, workplace distress and loneliness, saying it had provided immediate reassurance and practical suggestions. Others were deeply uncomfortable with the idea, arguing that a machine without emotions could never reproduce the empathy, physical presence or human connection that comes from talking with another person. One caller summed up the concern by saying AI could be useful in many situations, but ultimately “it’s not a person”. The AI itself was given the final word. Asked what listeners should know about AI and mental health, it said AI was “not a replacement for real help”, but could act as a bridge when someone needed support in the middle of the night. It added that real human help remained the most important destination. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Tokoroa mother who lost her son to suicide earlier this year says she is speaking publicly about her grief in the hope his death can help others struggling with their mental health. Bridget Coward joined The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB to talk about her son Bradley, who died in April after living with depression and anxiety from his teenage years. Bridget described Bradley as a cheeky, considerate young man with a passion for heavy metal and drumming. After finishing high school, he moved to Tauranga to study music, a decision Coward said made her proud despite the difficulty of seeing her son leave home. Bradley had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 15, and Bridget said she repeatedly tried to connect him with different forms of support. “The more I encouraged it, the more he pushed back,” she said. Bridget said Bradley had previously attempted suicide, and the loss of his grandfather, who had been an important male role model in his life, had also deeply affected him. Since Bradley's death, Bridget said the support of the Tokoroa community had been invaluable. Friends, colleagues, teachers and others had continued checking in on both her and her daughter, sometimes through something as simple as asking how they were doing. “It tells me that you're thinking of me,” she said. Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald told the programme there was no fixed timeline for grief and people should not feel pressured to “get over” the death of someone close to them. “We always carry the person with us,” he said, adding that while the intensity of grief may lessen over time, there is not necessarily a clear endpoint. Bridget said she was now raising money for mental health awareness and wanted conversations about emotional distress, particularly among men, to become more normal. “Our men need to know that it's okay to be emotional. It's okay to need to talk,” she said. Listeners also shared their experiences of depression and grief, discussing the role of counselling, medication, exercise, faith, friendships, pets and music in helping them cope. Bridget music remained particularly important to her and had helped her through several significant losses. She ended the programme remembering Bradley for his humour, his smile and his acceptance of others. “He just took people as they were. He didn't judge.” For immediate mental health support in New Zealand, people can call or text 1737 at any time. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.