
Functional Freeze or ADHD Paralysis? How to Tell Which One You're Actually In
Wired Divergent: Unmasking, Confidence & Regulation for Autistic AdultsShow Notes
Functional freeze and ADHD paralysis look almost identical from the outside, but they involve completely different biological mechanisms, and fixing one the wrong way can make the other worse. This episode breaks down how to tell which kind of stuck you're actually in and what to try for each. If you've ever googled "why can't I move" while lying in that same spot on the couch, you might already know that the standard advice (make a list, start small, go outside) doesn't seem to help. That's because functional freeze is a nervous system shutdown response driven by cumulative stress, while ADHD paralysis is an executive function overload in the prefrontal cortex. They feel different on the inside, they respond to different strategies, and applying the wrong one can actually increase the threat signal or starve your brain of the stimulation it needs. This episode covers the biology behind each state, how interoception challenges make self-assessment harder for neurodivergent people, external markers you can use instead of internal check-ins, and specific approaches grounded in the Community Resilience Model (CRM) for each state. If you're AuDHD and experience both at the same time, that's covered too. Also, the Polyvagal Theory often mentions these states, and this biology, but a lot of that has come into scientific scrutiny. The theory is also has significant problems around neuro-inclusivity. You can find out more information on that here: https://jendehaan.com/blog/is-polyvagal-theory-debunked-2026/ TIP: If this helps you, put this video on 1.5 or 2x speed using the toggle on the screen! I speak at a cadence where this video should still be legible at a faster speed. CHAPTERS: 0:00 I thought being stuck was one problem 2:29 What is Wired Divergent 3:10 What actually happens during functional freeze 6:48 What ADHD paralysis looks like in the brain 10:18 Why the wrong strategy makes things worse 11:24 Interoception and why "check in with your body" can feel fake 13:06 External markers for telling the two states apart 14:41 When both states fire at the same time (AuDHD) 16:27 What to try when you can't tell which state you're in 18:40 CRM strategies for freeze 20:19 Strategies for ADHD paralysis 22:24 The question that might help you figure it out CATS: Short Stack & Dr. Crepes. RESOURCES & LINKS: Article for this episode: https://jendehaan.com/blog/functional-freeze-vs-adhd-paralysis/ Show notes and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com Podcast version: https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Trauma Resource Institute (CRM): https://www.traumaresourceinstitute.com/ Interoception accuracy study: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11842156/ Autism and ADHD shared pathways: https://childmind.org/blog/new-study-finds-novel-link-between-shared-brain-gene-patterns/
About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com
Support the show We love our podcast host Capitvate.fm! Contact to ask me anything, anytime. Sign up with Captivate here: https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=yzjiytz We have our newsletters on Kit.com. Sell products, get tips, and a newsletter too. Easy, and they don't take a cut! https://partners.kit.com/ijdkivtf8ndd Transcriptions by MacWhisper. I use and love the Pro version (subscription free! Local!) - you can get it too using this link: https://gumroad.com/a/20303251/ivpqk Run Coaching or Courses? Absolutely love ClarityFlow. Seriously. Ask me anything, or sign up here.
Abou
More from Wired Divergent: Unmasking, Confidence & Regulation for Autistic Adults
This is a 5-minute movement practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, a gentle follow-along for the end of the day. If your body has been holding tension since the morning, from sitting or from masking around other people all day, this practice is for loosening some of that. This isn't a workout or a stretch routine. I offer some easy options, shaking out your hands, rolling your shoulders, some slow neck and torso movements, reaching up, and then a moment to add whatever movement your own body is asking for. Everything is an invitation, so move in whatever way works for you and skip anything that doesn't. Your body might feel a bit looser at the end, or about the same, and both are fine. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:01 The practice begins 7:54 Coming back to the room 8:24 Outro About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com
Interrupting can go wrong for autistic and AuDHD adults in two very different ways, and the usual advice to just speak up only helps with one of them. In this episode I go through why a thought can vanish the moment someone cuts in, why jumping into a group conversation might not work for a lot of us, and what I've tried for both. I describe the two different situations involved with this idea, and then I go through a handful of options I've tried, for one-on-one conversations and for group settings, including one that came out of improv and one that I think is the least ideal but still counts. I also give you a test to run over the week for whether any of this is helping, or whether it's just more masking, which you might not want more of in your life. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why a thought can disappear completely the moment you get interrupted, and when that tends to happen Why waiting for the right pause in a group conversation can cost so much afterward What to say to a trusted person so you can keep the floor while you work a thought out How to get an assist in a group setting when jumping in on your own isn't available to you A test for whether your speaking up strategy is helping or just adding more masking
This is a 10-minute tracking practice for autistic and AuDHD adults, built for anyone who has tried somatics (noticing body sensations) or mindfulness and come out more dysregulated than when they started. If sitting down to watch your thoughts or scan your body for sensations has ever left you feeling worse, this is another way in, another way to try this out. I guide you through noticing a series of different things without deciding whether any of them is good, bad, pleasant, or unpleasant. We start somewhere other than a body sensation, because that's a hard place to read for a lot of us, and move through thoughts, sounds, energy, and a colour, scent, picture, or words. Every indicator can be external or internal, and "I don't know" (or even "whatever, Jen") is a completely valid answer throughout. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:52 The practice begins 7:04 Coming back to the room 8:05 Outro About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com
Autistic unmasking is a healthy thing, and it can still get you read as a jerk, intimidating, or angry when you never meant any of that. In this episode I talk about what happens when you unmask as an autistic or AuDHD adult and other people misread your intention. A lot of us hear the same words from other people. Intense. Blunt. Too direct. Intimidating. I get into how that connects to the way autistic communication actually works, what the research says about the misunderstanding, and why it shows up so much in autistic and AuDHD social life. I share a personal story about growing up knowing my brain worked like my dad's, a worry I carried for years about being a certain kind of person because of it, and a therapy conversation after he died that half-answered the question. This one is part teaching and part storytelling, for anyone doing the slow work of being more themselves around other people. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: Why unmasking can get your intentions read as jerk, angry, or intimidating What the research on autistic communication says about misunderstandings The therapy conversation I had about being like my dad The intention versus impact question How to think about masking and unmasking as choices you get to make
This is a 10-minute grounding reset for autistic and AuDHD adults, a follow-along practice for after a long day of masking. If you've masked all day at work, at an event, or out running errands, and you've come home depleted, in a crash or a shutdown, this practice is for that thing. I guide you through settling in and then a gentle check-in with a few places masking tends to leave tension. You can do the noticing externally or internally, whichever one you have access to, so it works whether or not you get clear signals from inside your body. There's no fixing here, just noticing what's already there, and neutral is a completely valid result. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Safety note and who this practice is for 2:08 The practice begins 8:13 Coming back to the room 9:05 Outro About Audio and Video This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality. NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN: AuDHD and autistic coaching (1:1): https://jendehaan.com/ Regulation Practice Library (free!): https://jendehaan.com/wired-divergent/practices/ Newsletter signup: https://jendehaan.com/newsletters Wired Divergent videos: https://youtube.com/@jendehaan Resources and blog posts: https://jendehaan.com