
Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain
The Queer Family Podcast – LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting StoriesShow Notes
What happens when the life you built no longer fits who you are — or the world no longer feels safe for your family? In this episode, Jaimie sits down with TJ Shimeld to talk about coming out after marriage, building an unconventional but beautiful co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife, raising a transgender daughter, and ultimately making the life-changing decision to leave the U.S. for Spain. It’s a conversation about identity, reinvention, grief, freedom, LGBTQ family experiences, and what it means to finally build a life that feels aligned. TJ shares how the 2016 election marked the beginning of a deep unraveling of the “American dream” he thought he was supposed to want — and how that unraveling eventually led him, his husband, and his daughter Opal to a more peaceful, affirming life abroad.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways Sometimes the life that looks “right” from the outside isn’t the life that fits. Coming out later in life can be painful, liberating, and deeply clarifying. Divorce does not have to mean destruction; it can lead to a different kind of family. Queer and trans safety isn’t theoretical — it shapes daily life, choices, and futures. The feeling of betrayal many LGBTQ+ people experienced after the 2016 election was real and lasting. Finding a place where your family can relax, be seen, and be safe can change everything. Reinvention is possible, even after years of living for everyone else.
🏳️🌈 About the guest(s) TJ Shimeld is an author, speaker, life coach, and real estate investor currently living in Spain with his husband and daughter. After years of living a life that looked like the “American dream” from the outside, TJ chose a radically different path — one centered on authenticity, healing, and freedom. Today, he helps others navigate transformation, reinvention, and possibility.
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